Homer's life includes many important events that have played an important role in the existance of the Simpsons.
He is continuously making incredibly stupid mistakes, but still manages to keep his job at the plant. With his small salary, he can barely keep the family with a roof over their heads and food on the table. But somehow, Homer's dumb luck gets him through everything that you could possibly imagine.
His life dream was to appear on the gong show and, somehow, he achieved it. He went on the show with Barney Gumble, and they performed. With themselves in an extremely large pair of overalls, they both played the harmonica. They set a record for the most "gongs" ever. Here are some of the words that come from the grait "HOMER SIMPSON" Oh, yeah, what are you gonna do? Release the dogs? Or the bees? Or the dogs with bees in their mouth and when they bark, they shoot bees at you? Marge: The plant called and said if you don't bother coming in tomorrow, don't bother coming in Monday. Homer: Woo hoo! Four day weekend! Homer: There, there, shut up, boy. We'll just get you a new dog. Bart: I don't want a new dog, I want Santa's Little Helper. Homer: Well, crying isn't going to bring him back, unless your teers smell like dog food. So, you can either sit there crying and eating can after can of dog food until your teers smell enough like dog food to make your dog come back or you can go out there and find your dog! Bart: You're right, I'll do it! Homer: Rats, I almost had him eating dog food. It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to fit in eight hours of TV a day. "Oh Lisa, you and your stories...Bart is a Vampire, Beer kills brain cells. Now let's go back to that...building, thingy...where our beds and tv...is." "Hello...um, My name is Mr. Burns, I believe you have a letter for me." Clerk: "Okay Mr. Burns, what's your first name?" "Um, I don't know..." "Don't let Krusty's death get you down boy. People die all the time, just like that. Why you could wake up dead tomorrow... Well, good night." "I'll handle this. The only danger in space is if we land on that terrible planet of the apes...wait a minute, Statue of Liberty... That was Our Planet! You Maniacs! You blew it up! Damn you! Damn you all to hell!" "When a fire starts to burn, there's a lesson you must learn, something, something, then you'll see, you'll avoid catastrophe! ...Doh!" "Trust me Marge, with today's modern cars, you can't get lost! With all those Silicon chips 'n stuff..." (Homer ends up getting lost) "How come we always have one good kid and one lousy kid? Why can't both our kids be good?" Marge: "We have three kids, Homer." Homer: "Marge, the dog doesn't count as a kid." "But Marge, I was a political prisoner!" Marge: "How were you a political prisoner?" Homer: "I kicked a giant mouse in the butt! Do I need to draw you a diagram?" "Marge, I don't want to upset you, but you're living in a world of make believe, with flowers and bells and leprechauns and frogs wearing funny green hats..." Bart: "These uniforms suck." Marge: "Bart, I don't want you using such language." Homer: (on phone) "That team sure did suck last night. They just plain sucked. I've seen teams suck before, but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked. Oh gotta go, my dam weiner kids are listning." "When you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose, it's how drunk you get." "Must...protect...sugar. Theives everywhere. The strong must protect the sweet...the sweet...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...Aah! Hey, get off my sugar. Bad bees! Bad! Arr. Oww! Oh, they're defending themselves somehow!" "Look at these low, low prices on famous brand-name electronics!" Bart: "Don't be a sap dad. These are just crappy knock-offs." Homer: "I know a genuine 'Panaphonics' when I see one. And look! There's Magnet Box and Sorny!" "Sweet merciful CRAP! My CAR!" Homer: Are you saying you're never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon? Lisa: No. Homer: Ham? Lisa: No! Homer: Pork chops? Lisa: Dad, those all come from the same animal! Homer: Heh heh heh... ooh... yeah... right, Lisa. A wonderful... magical animal. Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose... it's how drunk you get. Oh, Lisa, you and your stories: Bart's a vampire, beer kills brain cells. Now let's go back to that... building...thingie... where our beds and TV is. Homer: But every time I learn something new, it pushes out something old! Remember that time I took a home wine-making course and forgot how to drive? Marge: That's because you were drunk! Homer: And how! Homer: But Marge! I was a political prisoner! Marge: How were you a political prisoner? Homer: I kicked a giant mouse in the butt! Do I have to draw you a picture? "Ar... do you sell toys? Old man: We sell forbidden objectes were men dare to tred. Homer: Well I need somthing for my son's birthday. Old man: Hmm perhaps this will please the gentleman...Take this doll, but beware; it carries a terrible curse. Homer: Ooo, that's bad. Old man: But it comes with a free serving of frogurt. (frozen yogurt) Homer: That's good! Old man: The frogurt is also cursed. Homer: That's bad. Old man: But it comes with your choice of toppings! Homer: That's good! Old man: The toppings contain potassium benzoate... Homer: (confused look) Old man: That's bad. Homer: Can I go now? Homer's brain: Use reverse psychology. Homer: Oh, that sounds too complicated. Homer's brain: Okay, don't use reverse psychology. Homer: Okay, I will! Marge: Homer, did you call the audience "Chicken"? Homer: No! I swear on this bible! Marge: That's not a bible. That's a book of carpet samples. Homer: Mmmm... fuzzy. Lisa: Dad, we did something very bad! Homer: Did you wreck the car? Bart: No. Homer: Did you raise the dead? Lisa: Yes. Homer: But the car's okay? Bart & Lisa: Uh-huh. Homer: All right then. (Homer is praying at the side if his bed): Dear Lord, the gods have been good to me. As an offering, I present these milk and cookies. If you wish me to eat them instead, please give me no sign whatsoever... thy bidding will be done (munch munch munch) Here is a long list of more HOMER SIMPSON Quotes: Oh, yeah, what are you gonna do? Release the dogs? Or the bees? Or the dogs with bees in their mouth and when they bark, they shoot bees at you? "Kids, Kids! I'm not gonna die! That only happens to bad people!" Bart: "What about Abraham Lincoln?" Homer: "Err...He sold poisoned milk to school children!" Marge: "Homer!" Homer: "Hey, I'm just trying to make it easier on them..." Homer's brain: "Uh, oh. It's time you told Marge your secret." Homer: "Marge, I ate those fancy soaps you bought for the bathroom." Marge: "Oh, my gosh!" Brain: "No, the other secret." Homer: "Marge, I never passed high school." Marge: "That still doesn't explain why you ate my soap. Wait, maybe it does." Marge: "But, Homer! You're a Nuclear Technician." Homer: "Marge! Icksnay on the Uclearnay EchnicianTay." Marge: "What did you say?" Homer: "I don't know. I flunked Latin, too." "Son, when you participate in sporting events, its not whether you win or loose, its how drunk you get." "Well, it was a long trip, but we're almost there!" Marge: "Homer, did you remember to lock the front door of the house?" Homer: "D'OH!" Homer: "Well, its been two long trips but we're finally almost there again!" Marge: "Homer, when you locked the front door did you remember to lock the back door?" Homer: "D'OH!, D'OH!" Lisa: [Gasp] "Oh no! We left Grampa back at the gas station!" [Silence] Lisa: "What about Grampa?" [Car continues obliviously] Burns: "We don't have to be adversaries Homer, we both want a fair Union contract..." Homer's Brain: Why is Mr. Burns being so nice to me?" Burns: "...and if you scratch my back, I'll scratch yours!" H Brain: "Wait a minute, is he coming onto me?" Burns: "I mean, if I should slip something into your pocket, what's the harm?" H Brain: "Oh my God! He is coming onto me!" Burns: "After all, negotiations make strange bed-fellows, [Friendly Laugh] H Brain: "Arhhhhhhhh!" Homer: "Sorry Mr Burns, but I don't go in for these backdoor shenanigans. Sure I'm flattered, maybe even a little curious, but the answer is no! Lisa: "Mom! Dad! Mr. Burns is a vampire, and he's got Bart!" Burns: "Why, Bart is right here!" Bart: "Hello Mother. Hello Father. I missed you during my uneventful absence." "Oh Lisa! You and your stories! Bart is a vampire! Beer kills brain-cells! Now lets go back to that...building...thingy...where our beds and TV...is." "Heh Heh Heh! Lisa! Vampires are make believe, just like elves and gremlins and eskimos!" "Alright Brain, you don't like me, and I don't like you. But lets just do this, and I can get back to killing you with beer." "Come, to Homercles." Homer & Bart: "I saw the spaghetti, all covered with cheese, I lost my poor meatball..." Marge: "If you don't mind!?!, we're on our way to a funeral." Homer: "Ding Dong, the witch is dead..." Bart: "Which old witch?" Homer: "The wicked witch!" Ned: "We're done for! We're done-diddly-done-for! We're Done-diddly-doodly-done-diddly-doodly done-diddly-doodly" Homer: (Slapping Ned from left to right) "Flanders! Get a Hold of Yourself!" (Homer stops slapping for a moment, Ned has calmed down) Ned: "Thanks, Homer....I really..." (Homer begins slapping him again) Bart: "Dad! I think he gets the point!" Homer: "(Slap) Better (Slap) To be (Slap) Safe (Slap) Than (Slap) Sorry (Slap)........sorry." Ned: "diddly (Slap)" "Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand." [Homer reading an I.O.U. note...to himself!] "Dear Homer, I owe you one emergency donut, signed Homer." "Basturd!, [Crushes note] he's always one step ahead!" Devil Flanders: "Now remember, at the instant that you finish it I own your soul for..." [Just before the last piece of donut disapears down Homer's throat] Homer: "Hey, wait! If I don't finish this last bite, you don't get my soul, do you?" Devil Flanders: "Uh, technically no, but..." Homer: "I'm smarter than the devil! I'm smarter than the dev..." Devil Flanders: "YOU ARE NOT SMARTER THAN ME! I'LL SEE YOU IN HELL YET, HOMER SIMPSON!" [Devil departs] Homer: "Not likely, heh heh!" [Late at night, Homer walks up to fridge] Homer: "Mmmmm..Forbidden donut" [Homer eating last piece of donut, just as Devil Flanders appears] Devil Flanders : "Well, Well! Finishing something?" Homer: "AHHHH!" Devil Flanders: "Alright Simpson, you get your soul back...but let that ill-gotten donut be forever on your head!" Homer: "AHHHH!" [Sounds of Homer greedily eating bits of his donut head] Marge: "Homer, stop picking at it!" Homer: "Aww...but I'm so sweet and tasty! Oh well, time to go to work." [Springfield Police standing around Homers house with cups of coffee] Chief Wiggum: "Don't worry boys he's bound to come uot of there some time." Zombie Flanders: "Hey Simpson! I'm feeling a mite peckish, mind if I chew your EAR?" [Homer kills Zombie Flanders with a gun] Bart: "Dad! You killed the Zombie Flanders!" Homer: "He was a Zombie?" Bart: "Good morning, Father dear! Hope your well." Lisa: "Are we taking the new ?Lexus? to Aunt Patty and Selma's funeral today?" Homer: "Hmm...Fabulous house...Well-behaved kids...Sisters-in-law dead...Luxury Sedan...WOOHOO! I hit the jackpot! Marge dear, would you kindly pass me a donut?" Marge: "Donut? What's a donut?" Homer: "AHHHHHHHHH! AHHHHHHHHH! AHHHHHHHHH!" [Sounds of Homer making a furious time-travel exit] Marge: "Ho look it's raining again..." "If you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now, quiet! The're about to announce the lottery numbers... Announcer: "17" Homer: "D'OH!" Announcer: "32" Homer: "D'OH!" Announcer : "5" Homer: "D'OH!" Announcer: "8" Homer: "WOOHOO!" Announcer: "47" Homer: "D'OH!" Lisa: "Dad, we did something very BAD!" Bart: "No." Homer: "Did you raise the dead?" Lisa: "Yes!" Bart & Lisa: "Uh-huh." Homer: "Alright then." "You don't know what its like, I'm the one out there everyday putting his ass on the line, and I'm not out of order! You're out of order! The whole freakin' system is out of order! You want the Truth? You want the TRUTH?! YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH! Because when you reach over and put your hand into a pile of goo, that was your best friend's face, you don't know what to do! FORGET IT MARGE! ITS CHINATOWN!" "Remember as far as anyone knows, we're a nice normal family." Homer looking up at the living room ceiling): "God, why do you mock me?" Marge: "That's not God, that's a waffle that Bart threw on the ceiling." Homer (eats waffle): "Mmmm...Sacrelicious!" "Can you believe it!? Pretty soon, I'll be able to quit my job and live off the boy!" "Quiet, I can't hear myself think." Homer's Brain: "I want some peanuts." Homer: "That's better." "You never know when an old calendar might come in handy! Sure, it's not 1985 right now, but who knows what tomorrow will bring?" "Life is just one crushing defeat after another until you just wish Flanders was dead." TV: "First, we take a delicious bar of chocolate.." Homer In a trance "Chocolate..!!" TV: "Then we wrap it in caramel (sp?).." Homer: "Oooohh, sweeeet!" TV: "And finally, we dip it in rich, creamery butter". Homer: "AAarhrhghlll..." [His head drops back, and he drools] TV: "Good Morning Burger" scene, with "rich, creamery butter", Lisa : "A subliminal idea can be planted in your mind without you even knowing it." Homer : "Lisa, that's a load of rich creamery butter." "Dear Baby. Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: you..." [Homer on way out of office] "That dirty dean!! I'll get him" [Homer leaves and Dean's phone rings] Dean: "Hello?" Homer: [In ridiculous but hilarious voice] Hello Dean, you are a stupid head Dean:" Is that you Homer?" [Dean then looks out his window and sees Homer at the pay phone] Homer: "Arrrrr" [Homer runs away] [Homer is talking to a lady from Big Buddies] Lady: "So why do you want to become a Big Buddy?" Homer's Brain: "Don't say revenge! Don't say revenge! Homer: "Umm, revenge." Homer's Brain: "I'm getting outta here." [Sound of chair scraping on floor, footsteps, and door opening and closing inside Homer brain] Bart: "Wow, Dad! You had a breakdown like a little sissy girl?" Homer: Ho just that one time." Marge: "Actually, it isn't the first time this happened." [Flashback, with Marge & Homer] Homer : "You're Pregnant?! Aaaaaauuuggghhhh!" [Tears out his hair a bit and runs upstairs] [Second Flashback, with Bart and the two] Homer : "You're pregnant AGAIN?!?! Aaaaaaaaauuuugggghhhh!" [Tears out hair until it looks like it does now, and runs upstairs] Marge: "Homer, It's funny but I've noticed that my mum and your dad are very lonely." Homer: "Heh Heh! That is Funny!" Marge: "They need to spend time together..." Homer: "Marge, old people don't need companionship, they need to be isolated and studied to see what useful nutrients can be obtained from them..." Marge: "Stop reading that Ross Perot pamphlet and go to sleep." [Homer and Marge discuss about Grampa having a crush on Grandma Bouvier.] Marge: "Homer, what do you think about this?" Homer: "I'm damn opposed with the whole thing." Bart: "He's damn opposed. DAMN DAMN DAMN opposed!" Marge: "Bart! Homer- why would you be opposed with love?" Homer: "Marge- THINK! If my dad and your mom get married, we'll be brother and sister! Think what will the children will be like! The'll be freaks! They'll have flesh-colored skin, diffrent colored hair and five fingers on each hand!" [Homer fantasizes the kids as what Homer described] Homer: "Aaaaaaaaaaauuuuuuugggggghhhhhhh!!!!!" [Homer runs out of the room] "If the Bible has taught us nothing else, and it hasn't, its that girls should stick to girl's sports, such as hot oil wrestling foxy boxy and such and such..." Homer: "Bart, have I ever told you the story of Hercules and the Lion?" Bart: "Is it a Bible story?" Homer: "Probably. Anyway, once upon a time there was a big mean lion, and he got a thorn in his paw. All the villagers tried to pull it out, but none of them were strong enough. So they got Hercules, and he used his mighty strength and BOOM! Anyway, the lion was so grateful to Hercules that he gave him a big...thing of riches." Bart: "How did a lion get rich?" Homer: "It was the olden days! Anyway..." Homer: "Moe, my friend has this problem with another woman and he needs some advice." Moe: "What's his name Homer?" Homer: "Uh, it's Billy Bo-Bob Jimmy Jo-Jo Jr." Moe: "Homer, that's the stupidest name I ever heard." [Man runs out of the bar crying] Selma: "Its the death of a legend." Homer's Brain: "Yeah! The Legend of the dog-faced woman!" Homer: [Out loud] "Ha Ha! The Legend of the dog-faced woman!" Marge: "Homer!" Homer: "Stupid Brain!" Marge: "Homer I want to talk to you about this credit card bill..." Homer: [Falls to floor screaming and crying] "I admit it! The record club! The first eight were only a penny...then they jacked up the price!..." Mr. Burns: "Stop doddling Simpson, use an open faced club. The sand wedge." Homer: "Mmmm, open faced club sand wedge." Homer: "Ooh, I love your magazine. Especially the 'Enrich Your Wordpower' section. I think it's really...really...really...good." Marge: "Homer I'm going out to the shops what would you like for dinner?" Homer: "Steak." Marge: "Money too tight for Steak." Homer: "Steak!" Marge: "Arr...sure steak." [Homer is at the table with the family] Homer: "Anyhow, last night we're playing poker right, and as usual I'm winning and not realizing it. And Lenny says that I'm, get this [he laughs hysterically], a little slow!" [More hysterical laughter but no one at the table is laughing] Homer: "How come you're not laughing. Do you think I'm slow?" Bart: "Uh..." Lisa: "Uh..." Maggie: "suck suck suck." Marge: "Hmmm, We don't think you're slow, but on the other hand it's not like you go to museums or read books or anything" Homer: "It's not that I don't want to, It's those TV networks Marge they won't let me. One quality show after another each one fresher and more brilliant than the last. If they only stumbled once, just gave us thirty minutes to ourselves. But they won't , they won't let me live..." [Cries like a baby] Homer: "Oh who am I kidding, I am slow" Marge: "Oh Homey, If you feel so bad about yourself there's always things you can do to make you feel better" Homer: "Like take another bath in malt liquor?" Marge: "There's that, or you can take an adult education course" Homer: "Oh, and how is education supposed to make me feel smarter. Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home wine making course and I forgot how to drive?" Marge: "That's because you were drunk" Homer: "And how!" "When I first heard that Marge was joining the police academy, I thought that it would be fun you know like that movie 'Spaceballs'. But instead it was dark and disturbing like that movie 'Police Academy'" Here is Homer's letter to Mr. Claus. Dear Santa, maybe it's the berr talking but I'm mighty muffed that I didn't get that beer coster I've been asking for the last three years! Lewt's hope you don't screw up again this year. First off, I apology for using this napken. It was all Moe had. Now, what I want: 1.Cable TV. Not those cheapo deals, I want lots of channels. I want a zillion more channels than Ned Flanderes. 2.Fake ice cubes. I can never get enough fake ice cubes. 3.Fake ice cubes. I can never get enough fake ice cubes. 4.Real marshmallows. I'm tired of imitation marshmallows. 5.A pipeline directly from Moe's Tavern to my couch at home. (Don't tell Moe. Mmmm, beer!) 6.Laaaaam^nsn as$*gy#@ss.... Wooow! I must of dosed off for a moment. Where was I? 7.Tang! I can't get any Tang around here. I even asked NASA and the President, but they won't tell me. (Jerks!) 8.Hair. (Doesn't have to be real.) Oh, I know you usaully don't do requests, but I want the following people dead: Ned Flanders Both of my sister-in-laws Mr. Burns Smithers And those nerds on the Internet (or at least make them stop talking about me!). I know you can manage this because you're well connected and occasionally get the Mob to do favours for you. Well, I guess that's about it for now. I'm running out of spcae on this napkin. (Sorry about the stains -- Barney used it while I was relieving myself. But I think a got most of the vomit off.) If I remember something, I let you know. give Mrs. Claus my love. Yours truley, Homer J. Sampson. P.S. Barney says he'll write you, too, as soon as he gets up from the bar floor. P.P.S. Don't get anything for the boy. P.P.P.S. I still want that beer coaster! Despite Homer's lack of intelligences, Homer is still the funniest character on the Simpsons and he has had a very interesting life. And now this evening comes to an end. "WOOH!" With even more HOMER QUOTES "D'OH!" Oh, yeah, what are you gonna do? Release the dogs? Or the bees? Or the dogs with bees in their mouth and when they bark, they shoot bees at you? "What's the meaning of life?" God: "Sorry, you have to wait until you die." Homer: "But I can't wait that long." God: "You can't wait 3 months?" Homer: "No!!" God: "Oh OK.. The meaning of life is..." Homer: "Well, you can't go wrong with cocktail weenies - they come wrapped in this tasty little package and are served with a delicious red sauce: it looks like ketchup, it tastes like ketchup, BUT BROTHER, IT AIN'T KETCHUP!" Barney: "What's that?" Moe: "It's a deep-fryer...I picked it up from the Navy. That baby can flash-fry a buffalo in under 40 seconds." Homer: "40 seconds?...Awwww, but I want it now!" Lisa: "Dad do you have any fruit?" Homer: "This donut has purple in the middle, purple is a fruit." WRL Guy: "Here's is a few places we've got in mind for you. Terror Lake, Cape Fear, Screamville..." Homer: "Oh ow Ice creamville" WRL Guy: "No no Screamville" Homer: "Ahhhhhhh" Mindy: Why are you crying? Homer: Were going to have sex! Mindy: We don't have to. Homer: Yes we do. Mindy: Why?" Homer: Because the cookie told me so!! Mindy: Desserts aren't always right. Homer: But they are so sweet. Marge: "Homer we never have parties" Homer: "What about that huge one, you know with champagne, a band, a lot of holy men or somehting." Marge: "Homer that was our wedding" Marge: "Have you kissed her?" Homer: "No." Marge: "Has she kissed you?" Homer: "A couple of times." Lisa: Dad, don't you see you're abusing your power like all vigilantes? I mean, if you're the police, who will police the police? Homer: I don't now. The Coast Guard? "Marge, this is so depressing. My only hope is that this homemade Prozac works." "You'll have To Speak Up. I'm wearing a Towel." Horst: We plan to have some frank discussions with your safety inspector. Homer: Hee hee. Yeah! Sock it to him, Horst! Lenny: Pssst, Homer. Aren't you the safety inspector? Homer: D'oh!! Donut man: Hey, what gives? These donuts are piling up! Lenny: Heh, yeah. Homer Simpson went on a diet. Donut man: Oh my God! And I just bought a boat!!! (slaps forehead) Barney: Hey Homer, you're late for English. Homer: PFFFFT, English who needs that, ...I'm never going to England. ...Come on, let's go smoke. "I saw this movie once about a bus that had to 'speed' around the city, keeping its 'speed' above fifty and if it's 'speed' dropped it would explode! I believe it was called "The Bus that couldn't slow down." Now, Marge, you can't blame all of Bart's problems on your one little speech. If anything turned him bad, it's that time you let him wear a bathing suit instead of underwear. Aaaaand let's not forget your little speech! Judge: I can see you sincerely want your children back, but you have a lot to learn about being parents. Before I can return your children, you'll have to complete a course called "Family Skills". It teaches parents to listen to their... Homer: Communication, gotcha. Judge: But it's important to... Homer: Listen, yes, I know. Judge: But there's more to it than... Homer: I have listening skills! Judge: Mr. Simpson, would you please... Homer: Shut up, Judge! Marge, you're my wife, I love you very much, but you're living in a world of make-believe! With flowers and bells and leprechauns and magic frogs with funny little hats. Heh, heh. Lisa, vampires are make-believe, just like elves, gremlins, and eskimos. The Curse of the Monkey's Paw Homer: I'll make a wish that can't backfire. I wish for a turkey sandwich, on rye bread, with lettuce and mustard, and, AND I don't want any zombie turkeys, I don't want to turn into a turkey myself, and I don't want any other weird surprises. You got it? [a turkey sandwich materializes] Hey! Not bad... Nice, hot mustard... Good bread... The turkey's a little dry... THE TURKEY'S A LITTLE DRY! Oh, foe, the cursed teeth! What demon from the depths of hell created thee! I saw this in a movie about a bus that had to speed around the city, keeping its speed over fifty. And if its speed dropped, the bus would explode! I think it was called... "The bus that couldn't slow down." [on the phone] Bart, I need some lucky numbers, fast! How old are you? Uh huh. And what's your birthday?... No kidding. And what's Lisa's birthday?... What? You don't know your sister's birthday?? What kind of brother are you! You're meat made me sick! Apu: I'm so sorry. Please accept this 5 pounds of frozen shrimp. Homer: Hey! This shrimp ain't frozen - and it smells funny! Apu: OK then - ten pounds. Homer: Woohoo! Bart: Hey Homer, do you wear boxers or briefs? Homer: Nope. My Email address: Return to main Primary page. Return to main Simpson page.
Here are some of the words that come from the grait "HOMER SIMPSON"
Here is a long list of more HOMER SIMPSON Quotes:
Devil Flanders: "Now remember, at the instant that you finish it I own your soul for..."
Dear Santa, maybe it's the berr talking but I'm mighty muffed that I didn't get that beer coster I've been asking for the last three years! Lewt's hope you don't screw up again this year. First off, I apology for using this napken. It was all Moe had.
Now, what I want:
1.Cable TV. Not those cheapo deals, I want lots of channels. I want a zillion more channels than Ned Flanderes. 2.Fake ice cubes. I can never get enough fake ice cubes. 3.Fake ice cubes. I can never get enough fake ice cubes. 4.Real marshmallows. I'm tired of imitation marshmallows. 5.A pipeline directly from Moe's Tavern to my couch at home. (Don't tell Moe. Mmmm, beer!) 6.Laaaaam^nsn as$*gy#@ss.... Wooow! I must of dosed off for a moment. Where was I? 7.Tang! I can't get any Tang around here. I even asked NASA and the President, but they won't tell me. (Jerks!) 8.Hair. (Doesn't have to be real.)
Oh, I know you usaully don't do requests, but I want the following people dead:
And those nerds on the Internet (or at least make them stop talking about me!). I know you can manage this because you're well connected and occasionally get the Mob to do favours for you.
Well, I guess that's about it for now. I'm running out of spcae on this napkin. (Sorry about the stains -- Barney used it while I was relieving myself. But I think a got most of the vomit off.)
If I remember something, I let you know. give Mrs. Claus my love.
Yours truley,
Homer J. Sampson.
P.S. Barney says he'll write you, too, as soon as he gets up from the bar floor.
P.P.S. Don't get anything for the boy.
P.P.P.S. I still want that beer coaster!
Despite Homer's lack of intelligences, Homer is still the funniest character on the Simpsons and he has had a very interesting life.
Homer J. Simpson. The father of the simpsons family. Homer has three children Bart, Lisa and Maggie. His children, especially Bart, make Homer's life a living hell.
Despite Homer's ignorance he still managed to get a job at the Nuclear Power Plant, as a Safety Inspector.
