Church Services:
7g07, 7f13, 7f20, 8f12, 1f05, 1f14, 2f04, 3f02
Wisdom and Morality of Timothy Lovejoy:
"I urge every halfway decent member of our community to gather up all merchandise that bears the likeness of Krusty, that clown prince of corruption, and join me in a public burning..."
"Good people, I'm so happy your all here tonight, but please, just a few words of caution. Now we are going to set this pile of evil ablaze, but because these are children's toys, the fire will spread quickly. So please stand back and try not to inhale the toxic fumes..."
"... and the Lord said, Whack ye all the serpents which crawl on their bellies and thy town will be a beacon unto others." "So you see Lisa, even God himself endorses whacking day."
"Now instead of my boring old sermon, I'm going to take a page from the book of Bart, and do something I've always wanted to do.....take five Mrs. Phesh."
"Once something has been approved by the Government, It's no longer immoral."
"Hmmm Marge just about everything is a sin, have you ever sat down and read this thing? Technicly we're not allowed to go to the bathroom."
"Ned, have you thought about one of the other major religions, there all pretty much the same."
Tim walking his dog on Flander's lawn:
"c'mon boy, this is the spot right here, good boy. Do your dirty sinful business."
"I remember another gentle visitor from the heavens, he came in peace and then died, only to come back to life, and his name was E.T., the extra terestrial. I loved that little guy."
"Thanks to you, I've rediscovered a form of shame that's gone unused for seven hundred years."
The Rev. is preaching about the new Movementarians
"This so called new religion is nothing but a pack of weird rituals and chants designed to take away the money of fools. Let us say the Lord's prayer 40 times, but first let's pass the collection plate." the collection plate returns nearly empty. "Oh Lord, uh, try the emergency plate Ned"
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