Contents Console:
Long
Short
Long
Short
Long
Short
Sounds:
Long Sounds:
Marge: "You promised! You can't back out like when you volunteered for that Army experiment to avoid dinner at my sisters."
"Mr. Simpson, you do realize that this may result in hair loss, giddiness, and the loss of equilibrium."
Homer: "Yeah, yeah, yeah, just give me the serum."
Homer: "Hehehe. It was worth it. [thump] hehehehehehehehehehe......"
"Homer Simpson was remanded to the custody of The United States Army Neurochemical Research Center at Ft. Mead, Maryland for extensive testing."
"Woo Hoo!"
Homer's Answering Machine: "Hello. You've reached the home of who ever you are calling. We can't your call right now because we're at Moe's Tavern with a frosty mug of Duff beer. Mmm....Duff. Please leave a message at the beep and we'll call you back if there isn't a good wrestling match on TV. Beep. D'oh!"
Comic Store Guy: "Are you the creator of Hi and Lois? Because you are making me laugh. That drawing is worth exactly 750 dollars American."
Bart: "It's valuable, huh?"
Comic Store Guy: "Ooo, your powers of deduction are exceptional. I simply can't allow you to waste them here when there are so many crimes
going unsolved at this very moment. Go! Go! For the good of the city."
Lionel Hutz: "Uh-oh, we've drawn Judge Snyder."
Marge: "Is that bad?"
Lionel Hutz: "Well, he's had it in for me ever since I kinda ran over his dog."
Marge: "You did?"
Lionel Hutz: "Well, replace the word 'kinda' with the word repeatedly and the word 'dog' with son."
Lionel Hutz: "Mr. Simpson, this is the most blatant case of fraudulent advertising since my suit against the film, 'The Never Ending Story."
Homer: "So, do you think I have a case?"
Lionel Hutz: "Homer, I don't use the word 'hero' very often, but you are the greatest hero in American history.
Homer: "Woo Hoo!"
Moe: "You know what really agravazes me? It's them immagants, they want all the benefits of living in Springfield, but they ain't even bothered to learn themself the language."
Homer: "Yeah, those are exactly my sentimonies."
Barny: "Ya, aruh frta rouoag uhh"
Moe: "You said it, Barn."
[Homer nods his head]
Mr. Burns: "I will touch my belt buckle not once, not twice, but thrice..."
Homer:Oh oh, I don't understand a word he's saying. Why doesn't he just let me bat? I wish I was home with a big bag of potato chips. Mmmm...potato chips.
Mr. Burns: "...swing for the fences. Got that, Simpson?"
Homer: "Yes, sir!"
Short Sounds:
Long Songs:
(From "Homer the Great")
Who controls the British crown?
Who keeps the metric system down?
We do! We do!
Who keeps Atlantis off the maps?
Who keeps the aliens under wraps?
We do! We do!
Who holds back the electric car?
Who makes Steve Guttenberg a
star?
We do! We do!
Who robs gatefish of their sight?
Who rigs every Oscar night?
We do! We do!
(From "Homer at the Bat")
Well Mr. Burns had done it,
the power plant had won it,
with Roger Clemens cluckin' all the while
Mike Socia's tragic illness made us smile,
and Wade Boggs lay unconscious on the bar-room tile!
We're talkin' softball
From here to San Diego
We're talkin softball
Mattingly and Conseco
Ken Griffey's grotesquely swolen jaw
Steve Sax, and his run in with the law
We're talkin' Homer....
Ozzie and the Straw
We're talkin' softball
From here to San Diego
We're talkin softball
Mattingly and Conseco
Ken Griffey's grotesquely swolen jaw
Steve Sax, and his run in with the law.
We're talkin' Homer....
Ozzie and the Straw
(From "Simpsoncalifragilisticexplialadocious")
Homer: Around the house, I never lift a finger,
As a husband and a father, I'm sub-par,
I'd rather drink a beer, than win father of the year
I'm happy with things the way they are!
Lisa: I'm getting used to never getting noticed
Bart: I'm stuck here until i can steal a car!
Marge: The house is still a mess, and I'm going bald from stress
All: But we're happy just the way we are!
Flanders: They're not perfect, but the Lord says love thy neighbor--
Homer: Shut up Flanders!
Flanders: Okely-dokely-do
Shary Bobbins: Don't think it's sour grapes,
But you're all a bunch of apes!
And so I must be leaving you!
(From "Simpsoncalifragilisticexplialadocious")
[This one gos for a very long time so I couldn't be bothered writing it all in]
(From "Simpsoncalifragilisticexplialadocious")
Shary Bobbins: In front of a tavern, flat on his face,
A boozehound named Barney is pleading his case.
Barney: Buy me beer, two bucks a glass,
Come on, help me! I'm freezing my ass.
Buy me a brandy, a snifter of wine
Who am I kidding? I'll drink turpentine
Moe: Move it ya drunk or I'll blast your rear end!
Barney: I found two bucks!
Moe: Then come in, my friend.
Shary: And so let us leave on this hearwarming scene,
Bart: Can I be a boozehound?
Homer: Not 'till you're 15.
(From "Last Exit to Springfield")
Come gather 'round children,
It's high time ye learns,
'Bout a hero named Homer,
And a devil named Burns.
We'll march 'till we drop,
The girls and the fellas,
We'll fight 'til the death,
Or else fold like umbrellas.
So we'll march day and night,
By the big cooling tower,
They have the plant,
But we have the power.
(From "Duffless")
When I was 17,
I drank some very good beer.
I drank some some very good beer,
I purchased with a fake I.D.
My name was Brian McGee.
I stayed up listening to Queen.
When I was 17.
(From "Whacking Day")
Oh Whacking Day
Oh Whacking Day
Our hallowed snake skull-cracking day.
We'll break their backs,
Gouge out their eyes,
Their evil hearts, we'll pulverize.
Oh Whacking Day
Oh Whacking Day
May God bestow His grace on thee.
(From "Bart Sells His Soul")
In the Garden of Eden honey!
Don't you know that I loooove you!
In the Garden of Eden baby!
Don't you know that I'll always be true!
[More...]
(From "You Only Move Twice")
Scorpio! He'll sting you with his dreams of power and wealth.
Beware of Scorpio!
His twisted twin obsessions are his plot to rule the world
And his employees' health.
He'll welcome you into his lair,
Like the nobleman welcomes his guest.
With free dental care and a stock plan that helps you invest!
But beware of his generous pensions,
Plus three weeks paid vacation each year,
And on Fridays the lunchroom serves hot dogs and burgers and beer!
He loves German beer!
Short Songs:
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