Tom's Infinite Simpson Archive: Patty and Selma

Patty and Selma, Marge's sisters that Homer absolutely despises of.

Patty Bouvier:

2 minutes older

wears triangular earrings

has chosen a life of celibacy

smokes Lady Laramie 100's

dates Prin. Skinner for a while

likes cherry cordials

Selma Bouvier:

Full name: Selma Bouvier Terwilliger Hutz McClure

Hair is parted in the middle

wears round or s-shaped earrings

smokes Laramie Hi-Tars

always leaves the toilet seat up

has a Ham Radio

The Bouvier Twins:

Occupations: License renewal Clerks at the Div. of Motor Vehicles

Residence: Spinster City Apartments, #1599

Favorite foods: Tongue sandwiches, Clamato, Mr. Pibb, and Soy Milk

They love MacGyver

Activities

Shows slides of Mexican vacation

Remembers trip to Egypt. Other trips---Lenin's Tomb and Gettysburg

Plays Hearts (card game) with mother Patty sprays mace (Pepper Spray) on Barney at the Simpsons party and at the Soapbox derby

Visits with Marge

Gets new hairstyles: Patty-a brunet, Selma-a blonde

Shows slides of Czechloslavachian vacation couldn't plug in their leg razors

Baby sits Bart while Marge is in the hospital having Lisa

Give each other a juice loosener and get the Osaka flu

Flys in a bi-plane with Barney and crashes through a billboard

Burns their building down for a third time smoking in bed

Gets caught up in a tornado "hmmm, I feel it all the way up my skirt"

Teaches a class "Turn your man into putty in your hands"

Both get promoted at the DMV

On the bowling team, the DMV Regulation Kings

Selma buys a suitcase at Krusty's auction to soak her feet in

Selma marries Troy McClure

Attends Marge and Homer's second marriage

Ride by the Simpsons house on a two seater bicycle

Here are some of the words that come from "PATTY BOUVIER & SELMA BOUVIER"

"Double your pleasure Springfield." "I'm sweatin' let's ride through the car wash."
"The older they get, the cuter they ain't." "Hey, the baby just spit up."
"When are you gonna wake up and smell your husband Marge? Granted, you got some kids out of him, but when the seeds are planted, you throw away the envelope."
(Homer walks into the room) "Am I wrong or did it just get fatter in here."
"Just for that, you have to crawl around on the floor like the dog you are. Now say, I am Homer Simpson, the lowley dog, in a dog's voice."
"This was originally a halloween costume, but it found its way into my regular rotation."
"From now on, I'm only marring for love and perhaps once more for money."
"This needs more eye of newt." "You always want more eye of newt. If it were up to you, the broth would be nothing but newt eyes." "Well, look who's here. If I knew you were coming I'd baked a cat."
(Selma explaining about Sideshow Bob)..."and he tried to kill me." Burn's Lawyer: "How many people are thinking about killing her right now?" Parole Jury (Raises Hands) (After someone notices Patty has raised her hand) Patty: "Oh, she's always leaving the toilet seat up."
Homer: "Somebody, pleeeeeeeeeease, get me outta here!!!" Marge: "Homer, do you see a lot of towels? You might be stuck in the closet again..." Homer: "No this is somewhere I've never been before!" Patty: "Mmmmgh, you mean the shower?" Selma: "HAW-haw, mmmmgh, mmmmgh, mmmmgh, haw-haw-haw!!"

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