Announcer: Welcome to Celebrity Deathmatch. Here we have Deftones's Chino Moreno versus future pop star Craig Croskery. So let's begin.
Michelle: Will you get over it? (Throws shoe at announcer)
Announcer: Oowwww.
Michelle: Okay Chino, all you have to do is to beat Craig, got it?
Chino: Got it.
Christina Aguilera: Craig, beat that fat guy and I'll marry you.
Craig: Okay, I will.
Michelle: (Goes to the ring) Okay, let's get it on.
Craig: You can't beat me, fat boy.
Chino: I'm not fucking fat, faggot.
Craig: I'm no faggot. And Christina Aguilera sings better than you.
Chino: That's bullshit. I sing better than her. (Punches Craig)
Craig: Ow. That hurts.
Chino: You want some more punch?
Craig: Yeah.
(Chino punches Craig)
Craig: Ow, not again!
Chino: Hahaha. That's what you get.
Craig: Okay then, Chunky.
Chino: The name's Chino, dumbass.
(Craig grabs the bazooka from Christina. Chino grabs the mic from Michelle.)
Craig: Hahaha. Is that your weapon? What are you gonna do? Hit me?
Chino: No, I'm gonna sing.
Craig: Fine, I'll sing "I Want It That Way."
Chino: No, not that!
Craig: (singing) You are my fire.........
Chino: Aaaahhhhhh! My ears!
Craig: (still singing) I want it that way.
Michelle: (comes over the ring) Shut up, Craig. (She kick his nuts.)
Craig: Ow. The pain.
Chino: Thanks, Michelle.
Michelle: My pleasure, Chino.
Craig: Ooooo. You two should go out.
Chino: I'm married, dude.
Craig: Don't called me dude.
(Chino now sings My Own Summer (Shove It))
Craig: Ahhhh! My head! I think I'm gonna explode! Ahhhhh! (Blows up.)
Michelle: Yay! We won.
Christina: Not this time, bitch. You killed my boyfriend. (Begins to choke Michelle.)
Michelle: Chino, help me!
Chino: I'll help you. (Now sings Elite.)
Christina: Ahhhhhh! My ears! (Explodes.)
Announcer: And the winner is.....Chino and Michelle!
Michelle: Hey Chino, can I have an autograph and a picture of you?
Chino: Sure.
Announcer: Well everyone have a great night. Good night and good fight.
Note: No one is injured or killed during the making of this script. No I didn't meet Chino or anybody. This is PURE FICTION, get it. And, oh yeah. Chino Rocks!
Listen and compare!
Hear Craig's voice
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And Check this out. First Craig, then the Deftones.
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