Emotional and economic abuse are so subtle that it is difficult for victims to identify them. They both affect self esteem without the victim realizing what is happening.A mother has to grovel for money for milk and bread then must bring the change and register slip back. How convenient it is for batterers now with the annotated register slips. The woman can never buy some necessity for herself without him knowing. He only has to read the computer slip. Now she is not only under the eye of the batterer, she is subject to accountability by a computer-generated slip of paper.
Another kind of abuse is very subtle because it originally looks like interest and concern. When a relationship which becomes abusive begins, the abuser may ask the woman to call him when she gets home, i.e. from the mall. So she calls him and is flattered to know that he is interested. Things progress rapidly, though. The next time, he will have her call him when she gets there with her friends, next, call her before she leaves and also when she gets home. She may spend most of her time walking around the mall with her cellphone to her ear talking with him and ignoring her friends. They will begin to resent her behavior and this will develop into an important way for him to gain control over her. She will eventually become so obsessed with letting him know where she is with little phone calls that she will no longer be "available" to her friends, alienating and isolating her from any support system. Thus moving the game to a higher level.
She will eventully be terrified to be late getting home and preparing for the interrogation of why she is late and who she is sleeping with. I feel badly for women who have to go through areas where there are unpredictable traffic jams. What should she do... get a written excuse from a police officer? Now we know where that would lead...He'd accuse her of sleeping with the cop.
This intense obsessive jealously further imprisons her so she doesn't dare look at anyone or talk to anyone. The movie Sleeping With the Enemy illustrates this behavior. Her friends feel uncomfortable visiting her so they begin to withdraw. They are afraid to make things worse for her. They only make things easier for him. Now the only voice she hears is belittling and shaming her, telling her no one would want her and blaming her for everything. She is his property now. Especially if they've gotten married..he has papers on her now. All of this along with verbal abuse sets the stage for physical abuse.
The Effects of Violence on Children
Physical Abuse
Sexual Assault & Related Topics
Verbal Abuse
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