There are basically 2 groups of reaction to trauma. There are those who have always remembered and wish they could forget and those who wish they could remember and when they finally do, they become a part of the first group.
Intrusive imagery has all of the pieces of the trauma but not the connectness. This is one of the many reasons why the work of retrieving memory is so very difficult. The memories do not all come back in packaged in a neatly written journal. They are apt to come back when the victim's defenses are down, not necessarily when the person is feeling the safest: it is time and the wounded part of them knows this.
A person may say "I want to remember, why can't I?" For a person to remember, they need to let go of some myths, i.e. they came from a "normal" family, that they had a happy childhood, that they had a "special" relationship with their abuser(s), and most difficult, the hope that they were not abused.
They will need to also look at what it would mean to them if they could remember. This is where the hitch comes in. "It would mean that I was not...protected or cared for, in control of my body, lovable, pure, and worst of all I was not loved. I am sinful, I am evil , hateful and finally that I am not able to numb myself anymore.
The greatest struggle yet, may be what their family response will be if the victim were to remember and in some way confront them. These can also be an indication of whou the victim was not able to remember, i.e. "you always had a big imagination, you mean to tell me that you still lie?, you're still a trouble maker, what did you do to cause it?, I'll talk to him about it, he didn't mean anything by it, do you want to have him put in jail, why are you trying to break this family apart?, did you confess it to a Priest?"
Another obstacle to remembering is the patterns of behavior the victim has used to cope, i.e. substance abuse, gambling, relationships, sex addiction, eating disorders, obsessive, compulsive behaviors and thought, body image thought distortion,and self abuse.
When containment of some degree occurs, they will be able to focus to feel, to dare to allow memories to come.
Below you will find a link to Karen Olio regarding Memory Retrieval
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Karen on Memory Retrieval
