Yee Ole Gas Station Restaurant
Welcome to a nice
place to eat. This is a new restaurant in our area with a grand opening. It is made
from a former gas station whom a well loved man in our town use to own and in a
way this is a remembrance of him. We have many specials on our menu, which I am
sure you would be very interested in having. Take a look below for an example
of the menu and may your mouth water with enticement.
1.Oil Can Soup: Tomato soup served in an authentic oilcan
of your choice $2.76
2.Gas Pump Soda: A former gas pump converted to hold
drinks. Just lift the nozzle, choose the kind, Diet or regular $1.25
3.Hot chi kabobs on a Wrench: A nice tasty flaming Chi
kabobs. Please use caution. Wrenches tend to get hot. $4.34
4.Grease Burgers served on a Roll, $2.00, with added grease
$2.50
5.Hubcap salad bar: Your choice, Fill Hubcap as many times
as you want for one price. Large Hubcap $15.97, Small Hubcap 10.00, Gas cap
$0.25.
6.French Fried Fenders: French fries cut to look like
fenders $3.00
7.Surprise Pie: Left over stuff baked in pie. You never
know what you’ll get $1.00
Gas cans and drop cloths available for take home left
overs.
We feel that this
is a great memorial to our friend and I am sure He would have wanted it that
way. After you stop by we guarantee you will not be hungry for a real long
time.
THE KLUNKERVILLE SCHOOL COURSE OF CRABOLOGY
Now before you read this I just have to warn you about this group. It’s a group, which formed, and I do not agree with, and the reason why I am posting it here is for a public warning to avoid this group at all cost. It’s not worth joining.
Welcome to the 7-month course of how to
become a crab. For just $45.98 per week our founder Mr. Crow will teach you the
fine techniques of how to become a crab. Here are some of the things you will
learn how to do.
1.How to respond to people while waiting in
cars for red lights.
2.How to complain while waiting in line at
the store.
3.How to complain about your food while
eating at a restaurant.
4.In other words how to be just about as
annoying and avoided as you can possible get.
Why when you are through you will be avoided by just about everyone in town. When they see you coming they will holler, “Watch out! Here comes the Grouch!” This will make you very well known. When you are in public you may even run into a few of our graduates yourself.
Join now and for an additional $25.00 you
will get a nice textbook loaded with photographs you can refer to at anytime,
and a nice brand new pencil.
Come join us
Our address is 123 Shiny Street next door
to the Happy Time Café
BILLY BOB THE
BELL-HOP BOY
Billy Bob the Bell-hop Boy
Pushing suitcases was his joy,
And of him they made a toy,
Of Billy Bob the Bell-hop Boy.
HOW TO BE REMEMBERED AT A PARTY
Here are some suggestions of how to make a lasting impression at a party so no
one will ever forget you.
please follow these very carefully and it is a guarantee that it will work.
1.Brush your teeth at the table.
2.Take off your shoes and cut your toe nails.
3.While getting food use your hands instead of the spoons and if you do decide
to use the spoon sample each one with that before dishing it out.worse yet. eat
your meal there.
4.Keep on burping every two minutes.
5.Take a soda bottle, shake it up, and open it.
6.Sneeze and cough all over the food.
7.complain about everything.
8.While everyone is eating tell them about your toenail fungus.
9.Talk about your acid reflux.
10.Get on the table and start dancing.
If you follow these few basic guidelines you will be one
unforgettable character. that is a guarantee. enjoy!!
TELEPHONE PROBLEMS
Note: this is based on a true
story which really happened. You may have to read it slowly to understand
It completely and then you may
still be confused
Everything
has been going fine in Klunkerville but if any of you have been trying to call
us you may have had a little bit of difficulty in doing so. Our number has
changed. The reason why it has been changed is very confusing and crazy. it all
started when I wanted my new telephone to be rehooked up. I was asked by the
phone how many lines do you need. I thought we needed two because of having
another phone thinking two telephones, That must be two numbers. But I wound up
with two telephone lines. after I had to call them back to cancel it out. When
they did they took our old number away and kept the new one of 44x xxxx. I
wanted the old number instead so I called them and got it back. But in the
meantime they gave it to someone else, so someone else had the same number we
did at the same time. That’s why people about once a week would call sometimes
and ask for people I didn’t know. I was getting ready to do something about it.
As soon as I was the other man who had my number somewhere else decided to have
service work done. So my phone went dead. I called them back to get it
straightened out. The Klunkerville telephone staff could not believe it after
they discovered the mess. They gave me a new phone number of 442 xxxx and told
me there is no reason why I couldn’t have my old phone number back because I
had it so long. They were supposed to straighten it out and switch it back but
never did. I tried calling our old number this morning to see what would happen
and I discovered it dials through. That means someone else has our old
number.so I guess our new number is 442 xxxx. Now isn’t that a confusing mess
or what? I am going to leave well enough alone. That’s life I guess in
Klunkerville.
