That's right. This is me again. Here is another Great page of my life and times in Klunkerville.
MY CLUNKY SNEAKERS
I have a pair of sneakers I wear. Their in the same shape as my stereo.
My wife tells me,"I wish you'de throw those things out and get a new pair!
Their terrible"!
Right now their grassy stained, a hole is wearing through,the bottoms are
getting thin. It's hard to part with them because of many reasons.
1.Their like an old friend. You don't throw a friend out the door because he's
old and bent out of shape.
2.Their easy to find. You just sniff.
3.Nobody will steal them unless their drunk or wierd.
4.And if your shoes smell bad enough,wear them and nobody will get near you.
Look at the privacy you will have. It's great!
You out there can keep your new shoes.I'll keep my old sneakers.
MY BUGGY UNCLE HAROLD
I have an uncle named Harold. Every time he comes to visit and leaves I
have to spray the house for bugs for he leaves a trail of them no matter where
he goes. He says their his pets and they keep him company. I told him get rid
of them and he will have more company. But acording to him this is not true for
he can't make as many friends as he has bugs. I supose he is right. Even I
don't have that many friends. If these bugs are his friends when he comes to
visit I wish he would take his friends with him and not leave half of them
behind. Why he hasn't taken a shower in such a long time he even has mold
growing on him.
The Klunkerville Doctor
This is Klunkerville’s Doctor. When people need an operation they are afraid of him because he nocks them out with a hammer for surgery. Sorry to say he is the only one in town.
The Tractor
It's not good to bet
even on crazy things. Someone always looses. And that's just what a man in
Klunkerville did once.
He played a checker game with cousin George.
He says to George, "See that big tractor out there? If I loose I'll eat it
one piece at a time."
They agreed and George lost.
Every day He'd take a hacksaw and cut a peace off and chew on it. It took him 4
years. He died shortly after this which is to no surprise. The Doctors tried to
save him but couldn't.
He died at the age of 110.
My
Crazy Cousin
I have one rough cousin who was always in trouble with the law. In his own way
he was a hardend criminal.
For instance once he got into some indecient behavor by picking his nose on
mainstreet in front of a doughnut restraunt window, Still another time for
eating gobs of gum off the sidewalk.
This was strange in itself but it gets worse. Once he stole a bone from a dog
because it had some meat left on it.
But you won't see him for a while because of what he just did a little while
ago.
He went into a local food store and started sampling everything. First he stuck
his finger in some yogurt and ate that, and then he opened up a box of cleanex,
blew his nose on one and stuck it back in the box, He tried to steal five roles
of toilet paper, a pizza, and even an elderly ladys wheelchair.
He would have made off with this stuff if it wasn't for the fact that on his way
out he tried to rip off a gum machine. That's when he got caught. He called the
policeman a dummy and said out loud, "I'm sueing you for false arest and
being stupid".
He lost the case and is now serving 2 years in jail.
My Hidden Talent
Another thing that I want to mention that I'm very good at is playing the
trumpet. I noticed though people think it is so good that they can handle just
a couple minutes of it at a time. They usualy say, "That's enough."The
police even liked it. They stopped by to see what the comotion was all about.
They thought I was strangling a cat.
"No officer. It's just Me playing my trumpet."
I recieved strict orders not to play it any longer and a fine for disturbing
the peace. plus a bunch of mad naighbors. Their just all jealous because of my
talent. It's got to be that. What else could it be?
