CLARA AND CLERANCE KLUNK
THE FOUNDERS OF KLUNKERVILLE 1888
Clarence and Clara Klunk were very important to our town. Why without them there would be no Klunkerville. This nice
looking couple drifted from one town to
another. They had itchy feet. They were madly in love with each other, and
wanted to find a place to settle down and start a family of their own. They
traveled through brand new territory.
While doing so they practically starved to death. But soon it paid off for them for they stumbled across a nice chunk of land with wild plants growing on it. Clarence was well experienced at which plants were editable and which ones weren’t. They lived on these and a few wild varmints. They liked this place very much and claimed it as their own. A few other settlers eventually joined Clarence and Clara in this area. They built some shelters and all the settlers liked this couple so much they decided to name the new town after them. Finally the little town had developed. It soon began to be known far and wide as Klunkerville, The family friendly clean and crazy town.
Soon the klunks would have a child whomed they named Clarence Klunk jr. He had his parents good looks and personality. He was his parents pride and joy. He would go on to do a lot for the town. Why even when he was in school and mean ol’ Billy Bob tried to put ink on little Peggy Lees pigtail he stood up and said to him, “Billy Bob. Stop that. If you are going to put ink in anyones hair it’s gonna my hair. Not hers.” Sure enough that’s what he got. And Clarence stood right there and let him do it. He speaks up one more time and says,” there that will teach you” That was Clarence Jr. for you. A good man.
In the year 1909 he had found an
old abandonded 12 by 14 foot building
which useto be a chicken house. He fixed it up and turned it into the
Klunkerville Chamber of Commerce. This building is not only a landmark but is
still being used today. A man with his brains and intelligence and good looks
was sure to go a long ways. And he did.
THE KLUNKERVILLE
CHAMBER OF COMMERCE
HISTORICAL
LANDMARK
We at Klunkerville just had to include one of our popular landmarks to make this page complete. This is a picture of the beautiful Chamber of Commerce building founded by Clarence Klunk Jr. in 1909. It was a former hen house owned by one of the farmers. At first the farmer agreed to let them use it just as long as they agreed that he could keep a few chickens in it. The chickens soon died and the farmer gave the building to the town. Clarence Klunk Jr. did miss the eggs. They came in handy for the noontime meal.
In this building a lot of important events take place. This is where the annual Klunkerville parade is planned out each year, and where the yearly hot dog eating and spitting contest takes place. These are historical events that’s been taking place in our town since the Klunkerville Chamber Of Commerce has been established.
A HISTORICAL
LANDMARK
This fine building is very important to Klunkerville. It is the historical home of Clarence Klunk Jr. We are very happy to have this in our town. It means a lot to us. Other than the Commerce building it is one of our feature attractions. This is where Clarence Klunk Jr. ate his meals and slept. Very few people know this but this is here Clarence dreamt up the idea for the annual spitting contest. According to Clarence in his own words. “well sir, I was asleep and having a bad dream. I wanted it to end so in my dream I started spitting for some reason. When I woke up I thought. Hey lets have an annual spitting contest.”
And that’s how it came about.
If you ever come our way this is one landmark you would not want to miss. Built by Clarence himself.
FAMOUS SPEECH
GIVEN BY CLARANCE JR. HIMSELF
Here is a section of a famous speech given by Clarence Klunk Jr. back in 1928. It’s very impressive and rehearsed even today as a memorial to Clarence Jr.
“Howdy everybody in Klunkerville.
It has been a very busy year for Klunkerville with
Henrymae wiggleys cows getting out and knocking down everybody’s fences and
everything, And me catching poison ivy, getting sprayed on by skunks and chased
by goats and all. Why it’s enough to do a man in.
Just the same we have a lot of events planned for the town
for the next several weeks. The first one we are going to hold is our annual
tooth counting contest. The Person who managed to keep the most teeth in their
mouth without falling out since last year will win first prize, Farmer Joes
best laying hen. Last years winner was henrymae wiggley with 8 teeth remaining.
He won’t win this year since he lost one while trying to open up a tin can with
his teeth. I will tell you the rest of the events as soon as I remember them.
Oh what was those there events. I can’t remember them. Well if I can’t remember
them why bother with it. I could kick myself for forgetting. I can’t reach that
far so I will have to get someone else to do it for me……. Never mind Henrymae,
I’ll figure out a way later.
We have ended the year in the red. At the beginning of the
year we had in our savings $3.00 and at the end of the year we ended it with
minus 25 cents. What happened you may ask? Not much. I spent it on myself and
forgot what fer. The 25 cents I borrowed from our reserve. My ma! Ma says if I don’t pay up soon I will get a
reserve all right. A reserve she’s been
reserving for me right along. I received one of these reserves from her a while
back and felt the effects from it for quite a spell. Every time I sat down I
remembered it.
So I will end my short speech with these words. Learn from
Me Clarence Klunk, and you will go a long ways. I am not saying which way you
will go. But it will be a long ways and you will know it when you get there.
Gab with you later.
THE GRAND FINALE
This
page just wouldn’t be complete without one more addition. Our town has it’s own
theme song based on it’s founders. To see and hear this
click here
