MAJOR
HEALTH HAZZARD CRISES FOR KLUNKERVILLE
Our town had a major crises a while back.
A health hazard had broken out and something had to be done about it and fast.
It had to deal with one of our residents of our town. He was nicknamed Smelly
Man. What could be done about this guy? It had gotten so bad that now we have
lookout towers and whenever he is spotted a man hollers from above, “Smelly
Man, Smelly Man and this is a warning for everyone to grab either their kids,
gasmask or whatever and run for it. Usually when Smelly Man is about a mile
down the road people just start smelling the air even before the warning is
given and this works quite often. This has just become too much of a menace for
the little town. We would have to act quickly and fast. This problem will be
solved one way or another….. we hope.
TALKING TO
SMELLYMANS UNCLE ABOUT PROBLEM
We had never realized what was behind the reason why Smellyman
wanted to stay this way. We talked to his Uncle and after doing so discovered
the reason why.
His uncle tells me, “Smellyman? Why that fool took his bathtub
and got rid of it because someone told him for a joke that taking baths is
unhealthy and if you have to take a bath at all there is only one way to do
that. And this is the crazy idea he has in his head I can’t stop him from. He
believes that a healthy way to get clean is to hop into the pigpen and roll
around once in a while. The guy told him if you want to live to be 150 you must
do this because there is a special mineral in pigpen mud that makes you live
longer, and of course leave it to
Smellyman to believe it.
Have you ever heard of such a thing as this?
“No I haven’t and I find this very hard to believe.”
“Me too at first. But that is what he does and that is the
reason why he smells so bad. He won’t listen to reason. I tried already many
times.
“I’ll see what I can do.”
“Have fun”
I told some of the members of the town about this and we
were finally getting down to the bottom of the case. Now what was next?
FACING SMELLY MAN IN PIGPEN
Now since we were getting
somewhere with the crises we got hold of a health expert in our district and
told him all about the case. He worked fast and quickly, got a report together
to present to the Smellyman as to why it was unhealthy to take baths in pigpen
sties.
One of us would have to
deliver the message to Smellyman. But who? We decided to draw straws to decide.
He was given nose plugs and sent on his way with the letter.
Smellyman was found when he
arrived right inside the pigpen again. The man quickly tells Smellyman here is
a letter for you. I must go. He flees as soon as he can out of there.
Smellyman crawls out of the
pigpen and picks up the paper to read it. How
would he take this information? Would he get upset? Read on.
SUCCESS
Well it finally paid off. All the efforts of the
town had had the effect on Smellyman that we were looking for. Soon everyone
started parting with his or her gas mask. They no longer feared Smellyman
coming down the street any longer. As a matter of fact they got to know a man
they had forgotten existed. He was now a good member of society and welcomed
everywhere he shows up.
After this he had bought
himself a bathtub and had it reinstalled inside the house. Not only is he
happier but the pig is too.
He told me one day in his
own words, “I will never do a stupid thing like that again. Now I am much
happier.
The crises was officially
over. His nicknamed had been changed from smellyman and is known now as
Cleanman. We finally had a happy ending to a major crises.
NOT AGAIN! NO WAY!
We thought we had this case
licked but we were wrong. One day we smelt something coming down the street
again. It couldn’t be but it was. It was Smellyman again. Why did he give up
after we told him about unsanitary it was to take pigpen baths? I asked his uncle
and this is what he tells me.
“That crazy fool. He’s got
in his head now that if he doesn’t bathe now he can save money. He thinks he
can save on soap and detergent”
Well the little town of
Klunkerville can relax. We solved this issue very quickly. There was a town
meeting and after it everyone got together and donated so much soap to
Smellyman that he will have enough to last for 70 years. After that time we
will worry about it. For now all is great in Klunkerville. Well…. Except for
some other crazy characters in our town, like such ones as Buggy Bill, Hungry
Harold, Oh year Weird man, and there’s of course the town drunk and approximately
2000 others which I don’t have time to mention right now.
