FAQ's about animal cruelty in Star Wars. (answered by a real pretend person from the ASPCA.)
NOTE: Only one animal was harmed in the making of this page.
1. Q: Is it considered animal cruelty to ping a little nuna off a balcony as Jabba does in the Phantom Menace?
A: Definitely. There was no reason for this action, other than the sick pleasure of hearing it scream. I am outraged that this was shown in a family movie.
2. Q: Is it animal cruelty to call animals names, such as "walking carpet?"
A: It most certainly is, but it is more than just animal cruelty, it is animal harassment. I am outraged that Princess Leia got away with this just because she is a princess.
3. Q: Could you be charged with animal cruelty if you flew your ship into the belly of a space slug and then shot it from the inside becase you weren't sure if it was alive or not, as Han does in the Empire Strikes Back?
A: It sure is animal cruelty. If you put the space slug in unneccessary pain, there is no excuse. Han Solo not only shot the space slug once, but twice. Twice! I'm outraged! He should have figured out the first time that it was alive.
4. Q: Is it cruel to keep animals as beasts of burden, such as the eopies, fambaas, and kaadus in the Phantom Menace?
A: Yes. I am outraged that the gungans brought these animals into war.
5. Q: Is it cruel to cook animals alive, as the ewoks almost cooked Han Solo alive in Return of the Jedi?
A: While it is considered cruelty to animals to cook them alive, rather than humanely killing them first, Han Solo is not an animal, he's only a person.
6. Q: Is it considered animal cruelty to cut a wampa's arm off with a lightsabre?
A: Yes, at the very least, Luke should have killed the wampa quickly, but ideally, he should have let it eat him, it was probably hungry and by escaping, Luke was depriving it of food, which outrages me.
7. Q: Is it considered animal cruelty to blast mynocks if they're chewing on your power cables?
A: Yes. The power cables on a ship aren't nearly as important as the life of this rare parasite. I'm outraged that the mynocks were shot for the power cables.
8. Q: Is shooting a sarlacc that's about to pull your friend into its mouth and digest him for a thousand years animal cruelty?
A: Definitly. There were alternatives to shooting this magnificant creature. I am outraged.
9. Q: Is it animal cruelty to keep a rancor in your basement and only feed it the people who bother you?
A: Yes. I am outraged that Jabba kept a rancor in such a small area. Not only that, but I am outraged that Luke killed it just because it was going to eat him. And he killed it in a very inhumane way, too. I'm outraged.
10. Q: Is it considered animal cruelty to shoot a dianoga trash compactor monster if it's strangling your friend?
A: Yes. There are alternatives to shooting dianogas. This action outrages me.
11. Q: Is it animal cruelty to cut a taun taun open and put your friend inside it because you friend is freezing to death?
A: Yes. It outrages me.
12. Q: Even if it's already dead?
A: Yes.
13. Q: Is it animal cruelty to stab an acklay with a spear and cut it's legs off with a lightsabre, and what if it's in self defense?
A: This is most definitely animal cruelty. Acklay's are magnificant creatures and will not bother you unless you provoke them with you presence. There are other ways to get away from an acklay other than stabbing it and cutting it's legs off. I'm outraged.
14. Q: Is it animal cruelty to shock a nexu to get it to go where you want it to, or to kick it if it harmed you in some way and took a piece of your shirt?
A: Yes. You don't need a whole shirt. And there is certainly no reason to shock a nexu. They are naturally peaceful animals and are only aggressive when tortured. I was outraged when I saw the nexu in such pain.
15. Q: Is it considered animal cruelty to wrap a reek up in chains and use it as a beast of burden?
A: Of course. Forcing any animal to do what you want it to, using chains or other horrible devices is animal cruelty. And you know what? I'm outraged.
