Well, here we are in all our Holly Daze
Splendor! Left to right is Mercy, Faith, Ruby & Spirit...and of
course, me! I can tell you for sure it was an adventure to take all
four of these guys into the studio and attempt to produce pictures as
if we were having fun! Actually, they did quite well, and I did have a
friend go with me to help. But by the time we were finished it was a
toss up as to who was ready to go out the door the fastest! Good thing
I don't attempt this often.
I haven't been updating my page as often. It seems as though the past
few weeks have been taken up with work and getting the house put back
together after new carpet, vinyl flooring, painting and drapes. It's
amazing how time gets away from one when you're not looking. Then, of
course, the holidays...yes, the holidays. Oh how I dreaded from
Thanksgiving until New Years. I think that's why I buried myself in all
these projects. I thought, "Just keep busy and you won't have to think
about other things." It did help to take my mind of things but I've
found you just can't skirt around this thing called "grief". It really
is a journey that one must walk from the beginning to the end but
little stops along the way helps to keep one on the straight and
narrow.
It was difficult this Christmas, from the shopping to the wrapping, to
the dinners without Cees. He so loved the holiday season. He loved
being with his family more than anything even more than the presents,
even more than the food if that could ever be.. LOL He loved to see the
smiles on the kid's faces when they got a gift that they really, really
wanted. Especially the grandkids. He didn't like to shop, standing made
his knees hurt, but he was a wizard when it came to wrapping them.
Christmas Eve was our night to wrap and we would haul out the paper,
ribbon and bows. He actually made his creases in the paper with a ruler
so the package would have that crisp, clean edge to it. My job was the
bows and the ribbons. To say the least, I think I only wrapped three
gifts. The others all went in bags.
Christmas Eve I visited Cees' mom. Took her gift out and spent some
really quality time. She seems to be doing well....but I know this
season was the most difficult for her since her husband passed away six
years ago. It's hard enough to lose your spouse but then your only
child, I can only imagine. I call her often and we have wonderful
talks...she's really looking forward to the new baseball season. Rumor
has it she got a Mariner's baseball shirt for Christmas and will be
wearing it during the games. I can just picture her doing that. She's a
strong lady that Mother-In-Law of mine.
Christmas morning I went out to Ray and Lisa's. Ray was our Best Man at
our wedding and the closest thing to a brother that Cees ever had. They
went with me to the cemetery but I found that they had been there prior
to that and had brought a beautiful little Christmas tree and placed it
on his headstone. That really meant a lot to me...you see, Cees wasn't
able to have a Christmas tree for the time he was sick. His immune
system couldn't tolerate one, so we never bothered to put one up. They
had decorated it with little drums and hearts and angels. It was
wrapped with gold beads and topped with a precious little angel. Lisa
gave her to me before we left and I made sure to take a picture of the
tree.
Christmas afternoon I went to my daughter's new house they had built
last summer. She was so excited to be able to have Christmas dinner
there with all the family present. She did a wonderful job on the meal
and the house was beautifully decorated. The most special thing she did
for me, as well as for herself I'm sure, is she set a place at the
table for her Dad in remembrance of him. She wanted to say, "Even
though you're not here Dad, we know you're here in spirit and you're in
our hearts until we all can be together again". She was so
concerned that it would make me sad, but actually, it made me feel a
little better just having that place set for him.
I enjoyed watching the grandkids open there presents and we each took
turns opening our own. We've tried to make it a tradition to take turns
opening a gift at a time so everyone can appreciate the thought and
effort put forth. It makes for some wonderful memories and it
makes the suspense last longer too. I was doing pretty good
until my son and his lovely new bride gave me their present. Weeks
before I was asked what I wanted for Christmas and I told everyone,
"Just gift certificates to the Christian Bookstore so I can get a
favorite portrait I wanted". My kids gave me my present and
it was a calendar of 12 months of rainbows. Taped to it was a computer
printed gift certificate and they said when they got to the store they
didn't have anymore certificates left. So, they made their own and
would go with me when I was ready to buy the portrait. I thought that
was great but then all of a sudden, Jennifer said, "But, we thought
that was pretty lame...so we got you this instead". I knew
what it was when they brought it out, but the closer I got to
unwrapping it, well, I lost it. They had actually bought the portrait
for me. It's a signed, limited edition and this is what it looks
like...it's called "SAFELY HOME" by Ron DiCanni and it hangs in my
living room and brings so much comfort when I think I can't go on.
I only have to look at it to be reminded
that when Cees left us he went to be with the Father and this is what
must have taken place. The look on Jesus' face just says it
all. It's like He's saying, "I'm so sorry you had to go
through what you did to get home, but I am so glad you are
here". The second best thing about the portrait is, if you
look real close, it looks as though the new arrival has a pair of Hush
Puppy slippers on. Those were the only slippers Cees wore and
the kids took turns buying him new ones each Christmas. In
fact, Cees was wearing them on the day he went home to be with the
Lord. I will treasure that portrait forever.
New Year's was different, we usually stayed home and saw the New Year
in just watching TV or spending it with the neighbors...usually setting
off fireworks and then going to bed. This year I had resigned myself to
just being here with the girls, watching a movie on TV and then going
to bed. But, my son and daughter-in-law called about 9:00 and said,
"Let's go see a movie". So, at midnight, at the turn of the
century and the beginning of a new year, we were sitting in a movie
theater watching "Castaway". Afterwards we went to our cars and
Jennifer pulled out a bottle of Apple-grape Cider and we toasted a new
year and a new beginning...they made me promise to call them when I got
home just to know I'd made it...oh silly them, but I did the same
thing...LOL
So, here we are. 01/01/01 The first day of the first month of the first
thousand years. A new century and a new year that holds what? No one
knows, but I do know that we have to go forward and grab onto it with
everything we have. Time waits for no one and one can never go back
only forward. We learn from the past, we hang onto the memories that
are so very precious. We take them with us into the new year and add to
them....that is what life is all about and I know that that is what
Cees would expect us to do.... As he would say, "What It Is" not "What
It Was". So precious friends and family....here we go...! ! !
! ! !
Have a Peaceful &
Healing New Year and may God Bless and Keep You All!
