Fizzy's Thoughts

Every once in awhile I will have something I like to say, whether it be something funny, a dedicaton, or just needing to rant. What you read below are my thoughts. They are not meant to wound or offend, should there be anything that I DO rant about, names will be changed to protect both the innocent and not-so-innocent. If you do not agree with me, or if you do, you are free to e-mail me (I LOVE e-mail hint hint) and I will respond as quickly as I can. However, if you do e-mail me, please be civilized in what you say, as I will try to be in what I say. Thank you.





Well the last time I updated this page it was right before Christmas and it is now the beginning of April. Thankfully, a few interesting things have happened in my life. Otherwise, I might have died of boredom LOL!!! Let see, the first thing is, that my older sister finally got "ON-LINE"!!! She once swore that computers were evil and that she would never own one. Now she has one and she has been assimilated along with the rest of us heh heh heh. The other thing is, I just got a new (used) car. It is a wonderful little Honda Civic and I am very happy with it. This will definitely help me to find a job and all that fun stuff. I guess that is about it for now. I know I keep promising to update this more often, but who really looks at my page anyway?? I'll update it when I have something new to say. Shade and Sweetwater to all. Love Kayte





Fizzy would like to wish all her friends and family and everyone that she loves and cares about a very Happy Holidays and a wonderful New Year too!!! *HUGE HUGS*





Here's a thought~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ So anyone who listens to the news knows that everytime there is some sort of violent act commited in our schools, the media places blame on music, movies, and video games. I think this is pretty stupid considering that (according to sales) the are millions of people who listen to this music and play these games and watch those movies. I am one of them... and I never had a urge to blow anyone away.... still I figure if people need to place blame then why not go all out... I mean why not say that Soap Operas are the leading cause of the rise in divorce and adultery over the years... Look back at when soaps started... you'll see that divorce has steadily risen since that time.... but I bet most idiots will blame it on the 60's... you know... all that free love and drugs... that's the real cause right... bullsh*t I say. Just like it is bull that kids killing kids is a result of watching too many violent movies.





Well here I am again. I have not updated my page in MONTHS and this was pointed out to me a few days ago (Thanks Buckles!!! :) So I thought I would give my few readers something new YAY!!! As I recall the last time I did anything with my page, I was still living in Seattle. Well I have moved to Colorado Springs, CO now to be with my lifemate, Dan. I have been here for awhile and am fairly settled. I have no direction sense so it has been hard for me to learn my way around but I am getting there :) Still looking for work but I am hoping for something soon. Other than looking for work and getting to know my way around, I haven't been doing much. Swimming, reading, and SKEMEing!! To all my friends and second family who I left behind, I miss you guys so much and I hope to keep in touch (THIS MEANS YOU JEN, ROB, KATHY!! I do get e-mail you know!! :) And I am on ICQ (# 3547833) Well that is about it for now but I hope that I will get on my butt and work on my page more often. Blessed be!





This is a little belated, but I wanted to wish my good friend Buckles a happy life. You see, she met a guy on a game called Everquest and they became good friends. Very good friends. Buckles just moved halfway across the country to be near him. I miss her very much but I can see how happy this guy has made her. Good luck Buckles!!! I wish you all the happiness that Dan and I have ::BIG HUGS::






A few months ago I was ranting about someone close to me (no, don't bother to look on my thought's page, it isn't there anymore) The ranting was just that.. my way of venting, yet after speaking to other people close to me, as well as the person I was ranting about, I relized that, although this is my personal webpage, the information is public and could have been damaging to that person. So this is my feeble attempt at an apology, not only to the person I was ranting about, but also to those that were upset about how I went about things. I am sincerely sorry to all of you. And I hope that you can forgive me someday.







Fizzy has something new to say... and this time it is nice. You see, I got this lovely book called "True Love" by Robert Fulghum (the guy that wrote "All I Really Need to Know I learned in Kindergarten") Well anyway, this book has true love stories from all over, real experiences from real people, and I just wanted to share some lines about love, with all of you. These really hit me because every single one of these lines is true to what I believe about love, true love. So with out further ado....


"There is a big difference between the first time you fall in love and the first time falling in love really matters."

"Love is the grand prize and the garbage heap. Love is a spiritual root canal and the only thing that makes life worth living. Love is a little taste of always and a big bite of nothing. And love is everything between these extremes."

"The love we really live is all the love we really have. And the love we really have is the love that's true."

"Love is 3/4 dream and 1/4 reality. Problems usually arise when you fall in love with the dream and not the reality. But, yet you find true love when you fall in love with both."

"Love may not last forever, but love lingers."

"Love causes pain. Love cures pain. And love is pain. Where love is, pain is never far away. Love will fill your heart, break your heart, and heal the heart that's broken."

"Love is blind-and love opens eyes."

"Love can make you want to die-and love can make you want to live."

"Love is never final-there's always a sequel or the hope for one."

"We're all a little weird. And life is a little weird. And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall into mutually satisfying weirdness-and call it love-true love."

"Love-the-first-time and love-the-first-time-it-really-mattered is usually not the same love."

"The game of love is never called on account of darkness or rain."

"Most of us need love the most when we're the most unlovable."

"If you concentrate on giving love, your task will seem small but the results large; if you concentrate on getting love, your task will seem large and the results small."

"The basic question of love: If you love me still, will you love me moving?"

"Nobody knows or will ever know everything they need to know about love. Its elusiveness is part of what makes love seductive. Anyone who says they fully understand love is either lying, stupid, or dead. One can only obey the great law of the heart that says, 'As long as you live, love one another and take the consequences.'"




Fizzy has something to gripe about finally :) It is nothing big, but it annoys me. You see, I am on ICQ and I love talking to people from all over and don't mind meeting new people. But lately I have notcied and influx of guys messaging me to cyber. This would be ok except for the fact that I am involved with someone and have even put that in my ICQ info. So guys message me to cyber and I say no and they are real jerks... OR they message me, talk for a bit, and then when I tell them I have a boyfriend, they say something like "I see" and then they disappear! GRRRR!!! Are ALL men scum? Is sex all they want? Girls? Have you noticed anything like this?? To be fair, I'd like to ask the guys if this ever happens to them. Hey, e-mail me and let me know.





In Memory of My Grandfather.
Below is his obituary and a lovely poem that my Grandmother sent me.

John V. Kolar, 80, of Thompson, Michigan, died Wednesday, May 5th, 1999, at his home. He was born December 2nd, 1918, in Highland Park, Michigan, the son of Edward and Cecelia (Mescher) Kolar and attended schools in the Detroit area. On March 24th, 1942, he married Elaine M. Essler in Ayer, Massachusettes. They spent their summers in Thompson for the past 52 summers and moved there last year. He attended St. Francis de Sales Catholic Church in Manistique. He was a commercial refrigeration and air conditioner serviceman and a member of the Pipefitters Union Local No. 636 of Detriot. He served in the U.S. Army's 32nd Infantry Division during World War II. Survivors include: his wife, Elaine of Thompson, three sons, John Kolar of Farmington Hills, Michigan, James (Mary) Kolar of Kalamazoo, Michigan, and Jeffery (Debra) Kolar of Livonia, Michigan; three daughters, Lauren (Hank) Gardner of Boise, Idaho, Patrice (James) Pravato of Farmington Hills, Michigan, and Lisa (Cameron) Hodge of Front Royal, Virginia; and ten grandchildren.


When I Must Leave you

When I must leave
you for a little
while
Please do not grieve
and shed wild tears
And hug your sorrow
to you through the
years.
But start out bravely
with a gallant
smile;
And for my sake and
in my name
Live on and do all
things the same,
Feed not your
loneliness on empty
days,
But fill each waking
hour in useful
ways,
Reach out your hand
in comfort and in
cheer
And I in turn will
comfort you
And hold you near;
And never, never be
afraid to die,
For I am waiting for
you in the sky!





Today I had a huge fight with my boyfirend Daniel. I will not go into details with anyone becuase it is out business. But I did want to let you know, I love you very much Daniel, and I am sorry for what was said. I do hope that someday (soon) you will be able to forgive me. I am forever yours if you still want me. I love you.











WEARING TRENCHCOATS DOES NOT MAKE YOU EVIL!!!

As I sit here... 4 days after the shooting at Columbine high school, I am amazed that the media is making such a big deal about what caused 2 young men to kill 15 people... They are saying it is the fault of the "Goth Movement", of video games and movies, of roleplaying games and I guess, trenchcoat makers... considering everything that has been said, I guess I am a likely candidate to go aroung killing people... yes.. I own a black trenchcoat, I have seen "the Matrix" 4 times and would see it again... I am a goth, I play Ropleplaying games and I own the video game "DOOM" as well as other games where you kill things.. but I have NEVER wanted to own a gun... I, in fact HATE guns, I have NEVER wanted to kill anyone... No, the media has it wrong.. as they have had it wrong in the past... It is NOT Hollywood's fault or the makers of roleplaying games and video games it certainly isn't the "Goth Movement" We as goths tend to abhor killing... as another goth has said "Goths respect death becuase death is a power but it is not a power as we, as human beings should wield" The blame needs to be placed elsewhere... Like our government.. who don't pay any attention to what goes on in our own country but in other countries, like the adults, parents and teachers alike, who ignored the warning signs.. We as adults need to help our childern, need to listen to them talk to them and make sure they know the difference between right and wrong, real and fantasy... I wish I could meet our President and ask him how many more people have to die before something is done... Fifteen people died on April 20th and that is fifteen too many... To all those who lost friends and family from the Columbine shootings, my thoughts are with you.