Chaosred's Top 12 Most Annoying Things About the BDsM Culture:
In the list above, I mention "being bludgeoned with the phrase, 'Safe, Sane, & Consentual"- I have no problem with the *concept*, nor the *practice*, but, IMHO, Most folks who can find their way around on the net have heard it often enough. Master and i practice a certain amount of ongoing roleplay, which either of us can step out of whenever W/we feel the need. But every time i come across that phrase (ad nausium,) it's like there's somebody in the wings, offstage, who keeps reminding me, "hey- it's only acting...it's not real..." which kinda takes away from my experience. (Maybe this happens to others, maybe not...maybe it's just *my* problem...) At any rate, i also realize that it kinda *has* to be there, for the newbies, and those who would condemn U/us, it's just annoying...a personal rant, if you will.)
Another one is Political Correctness. (Esp. in the newsgroups.) Again, let me clarify: I refer to people who act like all BDsM *must* be what *they* consider to be spiritually healthy, enlightening, and uplifting. Master and i play some pretty heavy mindgames, which work fine for U/us, in the context of O/our relationship, but i hesitate to mention any of O/our practices in chats or NGs, for fear of the flames i know i will receive. Basicly, W/we are forced back into the closet on many levels, because some, (actually, many,) complete strangers, feel that "that's not healthy!" even though W/we practice very informed, dare i say, S,S,& C. Domination/submission.
Some examples: While W/we *do*
have safewords, Master and i practice a penalty system for
their use- If i safeword, Master stops, then assesses how
neccessary the safeword was. If i was just "chickening out", then
i am subject to something which W/we have agreed is very
distasteful and unpleasant for me, but entirely tolerable.
This way, i can push limits, but still have the choice to opt
out if i think i can't handle it. For U/us, it works well, but W/we
have been harshly criticized for it.
Please- if you truly feel that S/someone is doing something potentialy harmful, and is clearly mis- or un- informed, then tell T/them. But remember, many people enjoy edgeplay, and what is edgey for some is easy and comfortable
for others. Be polite, and don't ever jump to conclusions, for, as brutal as it can be sometimes, O/our world is not one of hard lines and clear definitions, but of soft shadows, gentle curves, and many, many shades of grey.
The View From Here:
