To Let Them Out

Aka Shellshock
He’s been lying there for days, not talking, not eating, not even shifting positions so his muscles wouldn’t cramp. He takes no notice my comings and goings, nor Buffy’s worried visits – unless either of us mentions Willow. Then tears drip slowly down his pale face. We’d quickly learned to avoid her name.
Will’s been missing for three days. Buffy searches for her during the day, and I during the night, and we take turns watching Spike for signs of movement.
My child… what happened to you? I stared at his face, willing him to open his eyes, to look at me, to move… Buffy’s light touch on my shoulder made me jump. She shook her head softly, fear and sadness evident in her eyes.
“Angel, what if she’s…”
“No.” I said simply, and left the apartment.

I found no trace of Willow, and it broke my heart to return empty-handed. Buffy slept fitfully on the couch, next to my silent child, still lying on the floor, unmoving. I gathered Buffy into my arms, waking her. She buried her face in my chest and began to cry. When her tears subsided, I pressed my lips against her forehead, then let her leave.
Then I turned to Spike. He was beginning to collect dust, and grime from the building’s collapse was still evident. He was beginning to waste away, each day leaving him looking more and more like a corpse. With firm resolve, I picked him up and carried him into the bathroom.
I turned on the hot water, then stripped him of his clothing before shedding my own. God, he was so thin! He hadn’t been eating well – or at all, since Willow had disappeared.
I picked him up and got into the warm water. He showed no reaction as I began to wash the dust and grime off his pale body. It was difficult washing him – like cleaning a statue.
Two hours later I heard the door open and shut. Buffy carried Willow, who was in much the same state as my child. Buffy set Will down next to the tub, and unlike Spike, Willow actually stood.
“I’m going home.” Buffy said simply, but her beautiful eyes spoke of relief, and I smiled slightly. “I need a long bath and SLEEP.” Before she closed the door behind her, she stuck her head back in. “Thank you, Angel.” She whispered. Then she closed the door.
And Spike pulled Willow into the tub.
As their lips met, and his searching hands began to remove her mud-plastered white dress, I knew I was needed no longer. I slipped out from behind Spike, grabbed my clothes, and left the bathroom, closing the door tightly behind me.
I have a feeling I’ll be sleeping on the couch tonight.

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