I Never Promised You Forever
Lyrics from "Everything You Want" by Vertical Horizon.
I never promised you forever, Angel. Nothing ever lasts that long, and once again, it’s time for me to move on.
Thank you for loving me.
Willow.
Somewhere there's speaking
It's already coming in
Oh, and it's rising at the back of your mind
You never could get it
Unless you were fed it
Now you're here and you don't know why
She sighed as she read the letter a final time, then dropped it onto the countertop. Unbidden, a tear fell from her eyes and landed at the end of her name, then stayed there hesitantly, almost reluctant to soak into the paper.
Oh, little teardrop, Willow thought, how you understand me.
Her bag was packed and sitting by the door. She knew that Angel would be home soon, and if she didn’t leave before then, she wouldn’t leave at all. She sighed again, then picked up her duffle bag and left. The door closed behind her with a soft thud, and behind her, the teardrop sank into the paper, sending out little shoots of saline and leaving a circular scar at the end of her name.
But under skinned knees and the skid marks
Past the places where you used to learn
You howl and you listen
Listen and wait for the
Echoes of angels who won't return
Walking down the darkened road, looking up at the moonless sky, Willow wondered why her life had taken this turn. Why am I here? She thought with some discontent, I can do nothing. Finding a black convertible with the keys still in the engine, she threw her bag in the backseat and started it, her conscience pricking her slightly. Still, it was a car, and it was faster than walking.
He's everything you want
He's everything you need
He's everything inside of you
That you wish you could be
He says all the right things
At exactly the right time
But he means nothing to you
And you don't know why
Angel arrived to an empty house. Every reminder of Willow’s former presence was gone except for the note by the phone. He read it quickly and began to weep. He wept for Willow, for the girl she once was and the lost person she was now; he wept for Buffy, who would be upset when she found that Willow was gone for good; and he wept for himself, now completely alone in the world. Cordelia had been broken by both the losses of Doyle and Xander in such short a time, and had been killed one night when he hadn’t been there to protect her, and he could not go back to Buffy; there was no one else. They were gone to him, and so he wept.
You're waiting for someone
To put you together
You're waiting for someone to push you away
There's always another wound to discover
There's always something more you wish he'd say
Stopping to buy flowers, she used what was left of the money she’d saved up before everything in her life had shattered like so many pieces of broken glass. Then she got back into the car and drove on, a precise destination in her head. The cemetery was empty as always, and she laid the flowers on their graves with utmost respect.
“I’m sorry.” She said simply, for that was enough.
He's everything you want
He's everything you need
He's everything inside of you
That you wish you could be
He says all the right things
At exactly the right time
But he means nothing to you
And you don't know why
Buffy was not in her dorm, so Willow left the flowers and a small note.
Forever doesn’t last all that long, it read simply. Remember me.
She signed her name and left the campus.
But you'll just sit tight
And watch it unwind
It's only what you're asking for
And you'll be just fine
With all of your time
It's only what you're waiting for
She heard a wolf howl to the moon and empathized with its sorrow, then wondered briefly if it was Oz. But she soon realized it didn’t matter if it was; neither of them was the same anymore, nor would it ever work. She stopped to put the cover on the car and covered herself with blankets to sit out the day. When night fell she would continue on. She did not know where; but she no longer cared.
Out of the island
Into the highway
Past the places where you might have turned
You never did notice
But you still hide away
The anger of angels who won't return
Angel recovered from his grieving and got out his art supplies. Letting his soul guide his hand, he did not notice the face blossoming on the paper. He sketched for hours, working off his grief. When night finally fell, he finally dropped the now almost gone charcoal stick and got up, pulling on his coat and disappearing into the night.
He's everything you want
He's everything you need
He's everything inside of you
That you wish you could be
He says all the right things
At exactly the right time
But he means nothing to you
And you don't know why
Willow’s face filled every sheet of paper, in a myriad of expressions. Every one held a different piece of her; and every one was infinitely beautiful. The last one smiled with such a light in her eyes you would swear she could see you; a younger Willow, carefree and in love.
I never promised you forever, she’d told him, but maybe she had. Maybe forever just didn’t last very long.
I am everything you want
I am everything you need
I am everything inside of you
That you wish you could be
I say all the right things
At exactly the right time
But I mean nothing to you and I don't know why
And I don't know why
Why?
I don't know…
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