Goodbye, Hero

Willow was my best friend from back when we were in preschool together. We’ve always been together, through thick and thin, like peanut butter and jelly. And now… Riley called an hour ago to tell me what had happened. I still haven’t moved. Anya had to take the phone out of my hand and hang up. Oz and Spike are gone, too, and I’ll miss them - but they weren’t my Willow, the one who beat up the bullies who picked on me, and the one who helped me with my homework, the one who kept me alive until now. Willow was always both the brains and the brawn in our team. I’m not sure what that made me – the secretary? The one who wasn’t ever smart enough to say no?
She must have loved me once; yet I was foolish and stupid then, and blind to her beauty. If Buffy was the sun; Willow was fire, explosive like a firecracker, sweet with the lure of a candle’s flame. Willow was the fire you wanted to be burned by; the phoenix rising from the flames – you know when you touch her you’ll be burned, but still, you can’t help yourself. And so I touched, and I tasted, and I ruined both our lives for a time, and those of Cordelia and Oz, as well.
Our relationship had been awkward lately; since Cordelia broke up with me and Willow decided Oz was the one she needed most. I suppose that’s to be expected, but now she’s gone… and there’s all this lost time I never got to make up for.
I never remembered to say thank you. I wish… I wish I could have made her happier, once upon a time. I know I couldn’t have stopped her, since it was what she wanted – but I wish I could have been there for her, so she didn’t have to make the decision alone. She was always my strength, my hero.
I’m sorry, Willow…Thank you for everything…

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