Solace
The lyrics are from Stroke 9's "Make It Last." Follows Leaving Them Behind.
Angel watched the small witch sitting on his couch very carefully. She stared into the fire, holding the mug of hot chocolate and alcohol to her chest. Once in awhile, she’d bring it to her mouth and take a drink, then sigh dejectedly. Finally, she turned to him.
“You don’t need to worry, Angel, I put the curse on myself.” Willow said quietly. “I don’t know how I managed to do it, but I did. After I killed them.”
“Do you know who sired you?” Angel asked. She shook her head.
“I liked to visit Jesse’s stone sometimes… and I was there that night. It was…Oz’s birthday.”
“Oh.” Angel looked away from her to the fire, letting a silence fall over the room for a second. “That’s all you remember?” She nodded slightly, then closed her eyes as if in pain.
“Damn him!” Willow swore softly. “Why did he have to make me love him?! Why did he have to go away? Why?” She looked up at Angel with deep pain welling up in her green eyes. “Why does it hurt so much?”
The fire flickers out, making movies on her skin
And in the embers she remembers all the places that she's been
Four letter words fly from her mouth
She thinks she's breaking ground
Time takes its toll, she feels his soul
In everything around and I say
“I don’t know, Willow.” Angel told her. “I don’t know. I can offer you a place to stay until you figure things out, and I can offer you advice, but I can’t give you the answers.” He smiled bitterly. “If you ever find them, I’d appreciate you sharing them with me.”
“Does it go away?” Angel could not resist the pain in her eyes any longer.
The way that you feel now
It's cool as long as I know
The way it's gonna be
He sat down next to her and enfolded her in his arms. “It’s never going to go away, Will. It may fade, but it won’t disappear.”
Tears appeared in her eyes and slipped silently down her cheeks. “Thank you, Angel.” She whispered.
“Don’t cry, little one.” He murmured, wiping the tears from her cheeks with his thumb almost absentmindedly. “You’re too beautiful to be crying all the time.” She smiled slightly through her tears, but they continued.
“I miss them.” She whispered.
“I miss them, too.”
Make it last for an hour
We'll never feel this way again
Make it all that you want
And everything that I need
The silence that fell over the room was uncomfortable, but Angel preferred it to the question that followed. “Angel?” She asked in the same soft tone. “Do you miss her as much as you used to?” He let the silence linger a little bit longer before answering.
“No.” he said simply.
“Angel?”
“Yeah?”
“I…I don’t know how to tell you this, but…” her voice faded away into almost nothing. “Your curse has no happiness clause anymore.” She took another sip of the heavily liquored chocolate drink, then set it down. Angel was still reeling when she leaned forward to kiss him softly. He was so surprised he deepened the kiss without thinking. When Willow drew back hesitantly, he ran his thumb over her slightly swollen lips lightly and smiled.
“Willow…” he searched for words and found none, then gave up. He pulled her into his lap without warning, and kissed her again. They realized their loneliness and need as hands and tongues searched eagerly.
The booze reaches her blood
She forgets his name
The wood has turned to coal
But our desire feeds the flame
Will we surrender to the night?
Or will our conscience win the fight?
She won't regress, but can't confess
That everything's alright and I say
Clothes fell to the floor as they gave in to their instincts. Her nails clawed his back, drawing blood, inflaming their passion. He nipped at her lip, tasted the alcohol in her blood, her pain, her guilt, and found that for all her innocence, they were very much alike. She moaned under his touch as he moved over her, kissing every part of him she could reach.
The way that you feel now
It's cool as long as I know
The way it's gonna be
It's gonna take more
Where we're gonna go...
He cradled her small, thin body against his as she nursed a bite on his neck. Her tongue’s passes made him shiver delightfully.
“Willow…” She paused from her administrations to turn and look at him with those unblinking emerald orbs. For the first time, the pain was hidden away as she smiled lazily. “What happens now?” Her smile faded.
“I…I don’t know.” She looked away for a second, then met his brown eyes again.
“Will you stay?” He ran a finger down along her chin. “Please?”
She smiled again, weakly. “I...I can’t promise you forever.”
Make it last for an hour
We'll never feel this way again
Make it all that you want
And everything that I need
Make it last, make it last
'cause you're not making me any promises
Make it last, make it last
Make the best of what you see
She turned back to the twin wounds on his neck and kissed them softly. Angel sighed with pleasure, then picked her up carefully and carried her to his bed. There they made love again, each remembering their true loves as they used each other to dispel the cold, lonely feeling of lost love.
You give to me what I need to see
You can't feed my imagination
You give to me what I need to see
It's a twisted fascination
At last, curled in Angel’s arms, Willow felt needed again. And, in Willow, Angel found someone he could rely on and protect with all his heart and soul. She sighed, a light smile fluttering across her lips for an instant, and Angel wasn’t quite sure he hadn’t dreamed it as they fell asleep under silken sheets, knowing they had finally found solace again. Neither cared if it lasted until the end of time or only for the moment, for the present was all they cared about, and what they dreamed of, for they alone knew that the future was elusive, and something they did not want to know. Their hearts and minds were finally at peace, and that was all that mattered.
Make it last for an hour
We'll never feel this way again
Make it all that you want
And everything that I need
Make it last, make it last
'cause you're not making me any promises
Make it last, make it last
Make the best of what you see…
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