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FEB 2003 JAVA JIVE SHOW PICTURES BY STEB
Java Jive 1
Java Jive 2
GO CHECK IT OUT TODAY.
VALIS IN WONDERLAND, THE VALIS BIO
If, as Picasso once said, art is a lie that makes us realize the truth,
then Valis is a lie that makes you LIKE IT.
What is Valis?
I could tell
you, but I won't. First, you must pass the Valis intelligence quiz.
Is it a briefcase?
Is it a misspelling or mispronunciation of 'phallus'?
But what does Valis mean?
It's an acronym for Vast Active Living Intelligence System, right?
It's one of PKD's last novels. One of its main premises is that so-
called consensus reality is a false projection that emanates from an ancient
satellite orbiting the earth.
The satellite is an artifact created by the real
God, although the satellite doesn't know it. It thinks that it is God itself.
It's a crazy delinquent God, I guess, and It's called VALIS. It shoots pink
beams of pure information at the protagonist, whose life is changed profoundly
by his experience.
This Valis thingamajig projects a holographic reality, in which the book's characters slog through their screwy lives. The real, primary reality--a world of Platonic ideals, or,
if you like, Kantian noumena or ultimate reality--exists beyond the phony-
baloney world projected by Valis. You like it?
Who's in it?
Valis is a rock act that features Van Conner on vocals,
guitar, and keyboards (Screaming Trees); Pat Conner on guitar and vocals
(Kitty Kitty); Kurt Danielson on bass and
distorted vocals (Tad); and Dan
Peters on the skins (Mudhoney). With this stellar lineup, Valis recorded its
first CD, a split disc with Kitty Kitty on the flip.
It's available on Man's
Ruin Records in two formats: ten inch vinyl and CD. So get it already and let
me do my thing. I gotta get the boys together for a new recording session. You
see, they got a new drummer. I suppose you wanna know his name, too, eh? Well
okay. His name's
Sean Hollister or Hahn Shollister or something like that.
With Shollister on skins, Valis has written a dozen new evil sugary rocks of
sound crack, which they regularly play LIVE In
order to provoke unbridled frenzy in their audiences, the Valis boys put on a
show crazier than a, let's see here, a sequined chartreuse mohair wetsuit with
a complimentary lysergic oxygen tank system combined with rhinestone infrared
nightvision gasmask-style goggles. Makes the betties go bobo, if you know what
I mean, there, lumpsum. In layman's terminology, VALIS ROCKS; and they operate
on yer subconscious there, in the zone between what is and what should never
be, with precision surgical psychosis directed at cephalic fusion on a massive
scale. You follow me?
Valis will be recording their new kaleidoscopic aural meatcleavers yesterday after tomorrow, so stay tuned to the intersystem ultraviolet wavelength receivers implanted in your crania by obliging aliens working for the intersystem Valis network. In other words, keep an eye glued to yer local music-type rags, even the nationals, cause these boys will hit big and I mean soonsville, dig? They got this new CD that just came out.
Where can I get it?
You can get it at your nearest retail music outlet.
If they don't have it, ask them very nicely to order it. Bein'
all snotty don't help in this racket, so be nice, huh? If that don't work, ask
them to order it all nice-like. The mom and pop-type joints prolly got it
already, but the big chains might hafta order it. Use as much juice as you's
gots to, but don't go breakin' crimes. For zample, you could tell 'em you
resent the Valis network: a federation of aliens that are way into the Valis
sound; dig me, baby? That should turn the trick! But if not, there's
'ternatives: if yer Internet crazy, you can order it through the Man's Ruin
website, or Van's web site:https://www.angelfire.com/wa/VanConner/
Or, you can order it via any online CD retailer. Do it any way you can, punk,
but do it now, or you'll be left out in the radioactive cold when the next
Valis orgy hits with hurricane force: don't get caught without the
compliment'ry anti-'logical warfare suits that come with each Valis CD. Hell,
they're good against even them anthrax cluster bombs or those 'logical aerosol
plague bombs. I mean, when some crackhead nation gets riled and zings us with
some of them 'logical weapons, like them black or moronic plague bombs or a
bowling virus bomb or a small pox bomb, you don't wanna be walkin' around
without either protection or the demonic, melodic, psychedelic lead-lined
radioactive pop-punk vibe of Valis, complete with sinister lyrics, heavy-ass
bass and guitar; and a wicked, driving beat that forces me off of whoever's
porch I'm crashin' on and onto my feet, man! Valis makes me want to roll up
reefers and INHALE, dig? Their new smash hit, 'Venus in Red,' is like pop
candy hidden inside a full metal jacket!
It's sweet as hell and hard as
permafrost. This shit will melt the ice caps, like they were Snocones, my man.
Valis is gonna dig their way into the wallets of every man, woman, and child
on the face of this planet, and people are gonna dig their tunes so much, they
won't even care. Why, they'll be humming along to 'Venus in Red,' while they
go down to the rekkid store to purchase even more Valis rekkids.
LINKS
Van Conner
Patrick Conner
Kurt Danielson
Dan Peters
Screaming Trees
Gary Lee Conner
THE SCREAMING TREES PAGE
KITTY KITTY
TAD
MUDHONEY
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