Home Alone

I can’t stand confrontation Because it belittles so much my face I can’t stand my situation, So I desert my place And if you’ve ever wondered Why I’m like the way I am Consider that I’ve pondered that Since I was old enough to swim Swim in this foggy haze of questions Of uncertainty I create Daily, unconditional un-truths That all make me hesitate Dissolve the hate, absolve me I am a puzzle, I’m begging you to solve me Because I am who I am And you’re not even my friend I don’t want to be alone But there’s a reason I don’t want to be home I don’t want to be by myself Because slowly, this is turning into hell A quiet, edgy feeling that permeates, Obstructs, and dissipates Only when I can get out and forget it. And whenever I come back, I certainly regret it. I drown in self-preservatory silence, While you’re unaware of the collecting violence Raging at my mouth to be spoken, to be said But I throttle the noises and leave them broken in my head Dissolve the hate, absolve me I am a puzzle, I’m begging you to solve me Because I am who I am And you’re not even my friend I don’t want to be alone But there’s a reason I don’t want to be home Sire, love me as I am Even though you’re no longer my friend You’re just a face that contorts when I’m wrong Just a face that illustrates we don’t get along I don’t want to confront the Queen of Hearts overhead Who doesn’t wonder if I wonder if I’m better off dead “No play, here to stay, go away But not right now, not today, You’re to blame, What a shame.” Dissolve the hate, absolve me, then I am a puzzle, I’m begging you to solve me, but when? Because I am who I am And you’re not even my friend I don’t want to be alone But there’s a reason I don’t want to be home

this was a plea for my parents to realize how much pain i was going through.