So, yeah... I was looking through my guestbook on my website and voila! HATE MESSAGE! I always love these because of the sheer unoriginality of 99.99999999999% of the insults. Anyway, here's the entry:

Who Goes There: some1 who thinks youre 1 fucking dumb@ss
State thy E-mail Address: fuck@you.net
What manner of beast informed thee of my domain: your mom
From where dost thou hail(location): your mom's dirty porn website
Thy Homepage URL: http://fuck you
Who is thy Lord: Your Mom
State Thy Comments: you are one fucking dumb ass. I don't think you have even read all those books. your "poetry" is fucking retarded. You dress like a fagg. YOu are a fagg. If i ever see you, you'll know who I am because i'm going to punch you in the face you dumb fucking wannabe. You suck
Describe Thyself: i'm way better than you... i have better taste and style. I don't hate anyone who is fat or likes marilyn manson. i don't spend my time writing stupid shit that i want to call poetry... you should kill yourself
What is thy favorite section of this dismal realm: your fucking mother
What is thy favorite color: Piss Yellow

I find it funny that he calls my poetry quote unquote retarded and that he claims that I haven't even read all the books I mentioned on my profile. By looking at his extensive vocabulary and his miraculous ability to type things straight out of his ass (Example: stupid sexual references about my mom and the illustrious You are a Fagg remark) I don't think he's even seen the cover of a book. Not to mention, if you can't start sentences off by capitalizing the first letter of the first word, show that you have more than a one-word vocabulary (notice the excessive use of the word fuck), and if it's too much of a burden for you to spell out the word someone (not some1) then you have no business being a literary critic or a critic of any sort for that matter.

I also love how he claims that he's way better than I am... yup, pal... you sure are... that's why you're spending your precious time writing inane babble on someone's guestbook because it's the only form of publicity you're ever going to get in your pathetic life you ignominious socioparasite. The only reason why you don't hate fat people(like you said) is because you are probably a penguin waddling-bullfrog face-platipus looking pile of elephant shit who needs to borrow the rings of Saturn to place around your waist in an efforts to prevent the excessive rolls of lard from drooping to the ground. I urge you to try to punch me you oxygen thief.

So... with all that being said, if you're going to insult me please make sure you have more intelligence than an Emu... thank you...