One of the players at Southport GW is notorious for his extremely beardy Chaos armies. He relies on powered up characters, and simply has to hold his army at the back while his bloody general destroys your army. To top it all off he plays by the letter of the law rather than the spirit of the game, and does not know the meaning of the words 'polite' or 'manners'. Basically a typical power player. As you probably can gather, I despise playing this guy- he's the kind of person who could put you off Warhammer. Nevertheless, I recently issued a challenge to him. I would take him on in a 1500pts battle, with no magic items or magic whatsoever. He accepted. Nevertheless, he still approached the game with his characteristic bad attidude, which was to become increasingly annoying throughout the game.
First, he demanded that all terrain be removed from the table, claiming that this would balance the game, and that it would be just as much of a disadvantage to him as it was to me. Obviously being Chaos, he had no use for hills, so he realised that they could only aid my archers. In fact, the absence of hills unbalanced in game in his favour. Anyway, how many battles can you think of which were fought on open, level ground? Fighting on a desert is not something which High Elves usually do! I was to use my Silver Helms, Ellyrian Reaver, Archers, Spearmen, Chariot and RBT. He was to use a unit of Chaos Knights, a Unit of Chaos Warriors and his general.
The first round saw both sides advancing, with shooting taking out one Chaos Knight and two Chaos Warriors.
The second round saw most of my army holding back in a defensive position, while the chariot moved into a position where it could charge next turn. Again, I managed to shoot down a couple of warriors, although my RBT could not wound anyone. My opponent continued to move forward.
In the third turn, I wanted to charge the warriors with my Chariot and the knights with my Silver Helms and Ellyrian Reavers. However, I moved the model of the chariot in the warriors before I had declared the other charges, as there was no doubt that I was in range. Being rather unsportsmanlike, my opponent then stated that I could not make the other charges. This is aginst the spirit of the game. In my opinion, this was simply Mr. Beardy Chaos General being a complete and utter dickhead. Anyway, as according to the rules he was correct, I was unable to make the other charges. The charge did manage to break his warriors, but I was unlucky in failing to catch him with the chariot.
In my opponents turn, he charged my Silver Helms, and although we sustained casualties, we stood firm. His Chaos Warriors rallied, as was expected.
In the fourth turn, I charged his Chaos Warriors again with my Chariot. I also, for some reason which evades me (what the hell was I thinking of?) charged in with my RBT crew!!! My excuse is that I was driven insane by this arsehole's poor attitude... Yet again, I had moved these models before I tried to charge his Knights with my general, so yet again he overruled this. Bloody rules lawyer. True, I did the wrong thing, but I'm used to playing with reasonable, polite, players, with a good attitude, who allow a bit of give and take, so we ignore the 'declare before you move' rule unless measuring is required, in order to speed up the game. However, this wanker was not one of my usual opponents, as his annoying rules lawyering, tone and general behaviour deter me from fighting him. Anyway, back to the game. The Chariot did the required damage, but unfortunately I lost the RBT. Why I charged with it in the first place I'll never know. The chariot broke the Warriors yet again, and this time I managed to catch and destroy it. No such luck for my beleaguered Silver Helms, who were finally destroyed.
In my opponents turn, his knights charged my archers, whilst his general charged my spearmen. The archers were broken and destroyed, but the spearmen stood to fight for another turn, even if the general's Khornate frenzy drastically depleted their ranks.
Basically, by now the game was up. My spearmen were destroyed to a man. My general died in the next turn, a victim yet again of the General's frenzy, and the Ellyrian Reaver fled of the table. All that was left was my Chariot, so my opponent declared victory.
Although I made bad descisions, it most certainly cannot be claimed by my opponent that he won through superior tactics, as he had none! He simply moved forward and destroyed, thanks to his Generals frenzy and his rules lawyering preventing me from making the charges I wanted. Basically, this Chaos general is a bastard, a real tosspot. He spoils your day with his bad attitude, and I was angered by his refusal to shake my hand at the end of the battle. I will never fight this guy again, and he really puts my off the GW Southport store, which I avoid now on a Thursday. If you ever go to GW Southport on a Thursday, remember not to play this guy- you may want to give up Warhammer permenantly, his attitude is that bad. You'll know just who he is- he's the one nobody wants to play, probably shouting abuse at one of the stores customers, or criticising sombodies tactics or painting.
