Fear, Itself

  • Xander: I don't know. I was going for ferocious/scary, but it's coming out more dryly sardonic.
    Willow: It does appear to be mocking you with its eyeholes.

  • Xander: I got better things to do than tag along to some fraternity.
    Willow: You can come.
    Xander: Okay. But only because I lied about having better things to do.

  • Xander: Sad Buffy.
    Willow: She didn't even touch her pumpkin. It's a freak with no face.

  • Willow: I just feel like I've plateaued, wicca-wise.

  • Buffy: You know, if it's too much, don't do it.
    Willow: Don't do it? What kind of encouragement is that?
    Buffy: This is an 'encouragement talk'? I thought it was 'share my pain'.

  • Willow: I'll know when I've reached my limit.
    Oz: Wine coolers?
    Buffy: Magic.
    Oz: Ooh. Didn't encourage her, did you?
    Willow: Where's supportive boyfriend guy?
    Oz: Oh, he's picking up your dry cleaning. But he told me to tell you he's afraid you're gonna get hurt.
    Willow: Okay, Brutus. (pause) Brutus. Uh, Caesar? Betrayal, trusted friend, back-stabby?
    Oz: Oh, I'm with you on the reference, but...

  • Willow: We have to make sure she has fun. We have to force fun upon her. Yeah, and if Parker shows up, we'll just ax-murder him. That's halloweenie.

  • Buffy: Will! Medieval Will.
    Xander: Hail, ye olde varlotty... thou.
    Willow: I'm Joan of Arc. I figured, we had a lot in common. Seeing as how I was almost burned at the stake, and plus, she had that close relationship with God.
    Xander: [to Oz] And you are?
    [Oz pulls back his jacket to reveal a name tag that reads "God"]

  • Willow: Eew! Cobweb. Okay, that part was realistic.
    Oz: Frat boys aren't too obsessive with their cleaning. Might not be decoration, per se.
    Xander: Ahhh! I wasn't scared. I was in the spirit.
    Willow: And we'll back you up on that. Even if they question us separately.

  • Buffy: Conjuring? Will, let's be realistic here, okay? Your basic spells are usually only about 50/50.
    Willow: Oh, yeah!? Well... so's your face.
    Buffy: What?

  • Willow: Look, we found the stairs. Buffy didn't find the stairs, no sir.

  • Gachnar [in a tiny, high-pitched voice]: I am the dark lord of nightmares. The bringer of terror! Tremble before me. Fear me!
    Willow: He... he's so cute!

  • Buffy: This is much better. There is no problem that cannot be solved by chocolate.
    Willow: I think I'm gonna barf.
    Buffy: Except that.

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