Ted

  • Buffy: I'm just saying there's something a little too clean about this clown.
    Willow: [let's out a teeny snicker] He's a clean clown! [everyone stares at her] I have my own fun.

  • Ted: So, Buffy, I bet the boys are lined up around the block tryin' to get a date with you.
    Buffy: Not really.
    Willow: Oh, they are, but she's only interested in...[Buffy nudges Willow]...uh, her studies! Book-cracker Buffy, it's kind of her nickname.

  • Willow: Ted's got no criminal record! Damn! This guy's like citizen of the year!

  • Cordelia: But she's like this Superman. Shouldn't there be different rules for her?
    Willow: Sure, in a fascist society.
    Cordelia: Right. Why can't we have one of those?

  • Willow: I like my new nine gig hard drive.
    Ted: But you don't love it. Cause without the DMA upgrade, you're computer is only half a rocketship.
    Willow: Yeah, but who can afford the upgrades?
    Ted: Well, you can. I get the demos for free. I don't see why I shouldn't give them to you for the same price. Any friend of Buffy's...
    Willow:[she does some kind of laughing gasp]
    Ted: What?
    Xander: That's the sound she makes when she's speechless with gietred joy.

  • Xander: Willow, you are the best human ever! I adore you!
    [Willow smiles with sheer joy]
    Xander: Well, that's the cookies talkin', but you rock!

  • Buffy: Willow, tell me you didn't keep any parts.
    Willow: Not any big ones.
    Buffy: Oh, Will, you're supposed to use your powers for good!
    Willow: I just wanna learn stuff.

  • Xander: Don't sweat it. It'll be fine.
    Willow: Don't sweat it?
    Xander: Yeah, cute buddy! We'll work it out! [plays with her hair] No worries!
    [Willow breaks off part of Xander's cookie and studies it]

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