Eugene R. Carey

April 12, 1924 - February 16, 2004

For Dad
February 19, 2004

Good afternoon. On behalf of the Carey family I would like you all for coming today.

For those of you who don't know me, my name is Jeff Popp. I am Gene and Norma's son-in-law.

I want to begin by telling you that today is my 48th birthday, and the Carey family has given me a wonderful present. I have the honor of paying tribute to a man that I respect and love.



Eugene Carey was born on April 12, 1924 near Washington Pennsylvania. He was the youngest of 8 children.

During the early years of his life his family lived on a small farm.

When Gene's father died in 1932, his mother continued to try and keep up the farm, but the mortgage payments of $11 per month were more than she could handle, and the family was forced to moved many times as Mother Carey struggled to care for her children. Gene always had the deepest respect and admiration for his mother and how hard she worked and sacrificed for everyone.

For anyone who may not know, Gene liked baseball. He played in High School and town leagues. In all his time pitching, he lost only one game to an upstart young kid that no one here as ever heard of. The little twerp's name was Stan Musial.

With the onset of World War II, Gene entered the US Navy where he received training as a radioman. He served on the tanker "Malvern Hill" for an Atlantic crossing to Scotland. On his return he was reassigned to a small landing craft, the LSM-319. LSM stood for "Landing Ship Medium" and it's task was to deliver troops, supplies and equipment to wherever they were needed to support the war effort.

Unlike most sailors Gene didn't like alcohol and even when he was out with his shipmates he would order a glass of milk while his buddies indulged in stronger fare.

While waiting for his new ship to be commissioned, he spent many hours at the shipyard cafeteria enjoying milkshakes and ice cream sundaes.

On one of those trips, he met a young lady who was working as a cashier. Before he left on his new ship they had a single date. Which was, by the way, against the wishes of the young lady's father! Her father had been a sailor in World War I, and so didn't trust young mariners destined for the far side of the world.

On board the new LSM. Gene sailed from the Chicago shipyards down the Illinois and Mississippi Rivers, south along the west coast of Central America, through the Panama Canal, and then clear across the Pacific Ocean to engage the Japanese in the battle for the Philippines. He and his ship participated in several major invasions, and all aboard survived the war without any major injuries or loss of life.

While on board, Gene spent time writing a shipboard paper to keep everyone informed of the news of the world. He called it "The Globe at a Glance".

He also spent time keeping a journal of the events of his service. I had the privilege of transcribing it to computer format, and in 2003 it was published in a veterans' newsletter, and a Navy Department Web page. His story is now available for the whole world to share.

Now I have to say that while reading the journal it became very clear that Gene was not excited about radio school, or ANY school for that matter, and he even tried to fail some of his classes so he could get out. His commanding office saw through the guise and told Gene that he was more than capable of the work and that he might as well do a good job because there was no escape for him.

I also began to see the character of the man. He often tells of going to cafeterias and PX's for ice cream. It doesn't take much insight to realize that his crewmates were off pursuing "other entertainment". Not Gene. It was not his way. He had higher standards and would never compromise.

One of the tales he loved to tell from that time is how he and his friends would go to a bar called "The Bucket of Blood", and everyone would do double takes at the young kid drinking his glass of milk in such a rough place.

His time in the Navy gave him a deep appreciation for the quality of life we enjoy here in the United States of America, the very things he fought to preserve.

The following are the closing lines from his journal:

"The time I spent is something I will undoubtedly treasure highly in later years. It has been a great experience and there is no denying that. However. I've missed out on practically three of the best years of my life by being in the Navy. They can never be regained. I've been nearly around the world and I find that there is no place like the United States and home."



After Gene's discharge from the Navy, he soon returned to Hammond Indiana in order to be closer to that certain base cashier... and the rest, as they say, is history.

Gene and Norma were married in 1947 and moved in to the upstairs of an old house that didn't have a lot in it, not even a kitchen sink. During this time Gene was working in the barrelhouse of The Standard Oil Company.

In all the years that followed Gene continued in his love for baseball and played for countless city and company teams,

Gene soon after earned a reputation as a family man, as evidenced by 7 kids in the next 14 years.

Dave was born in 1948, and Dan followed the next year.

It's important to know that during this time Gene was offered a contract to play baseball with The Chicago White Sox. But Gene said no to his life long dream. He now had a wife, two kids and third on the way. It was time to refuse an uncertain, albeit golden, opportunity and buckle down to the responsibilities of a family. That's the kind of man he was.

Jan was born in 1950, Lynne in 1953, Tim in 1958, Robin in 1960 and finally Paula in 1962.

Gene understood the work ethic, and appreciated the rewards of a job well done. He also was not above doing what ever was necessary to provide for his growing household. Often he worked multiple jobs to keep the bills paid, while Norma pinched every penny to make things stretch. But even with all the time he spent working to support the family he always had the time to coach little league, and regardless of how tired he may have been never refused to spend time with his kids. Dave has told me that whenever he wanted to play catch, dad never said no.

The family moved to Crown Point Indiana in 1951 when the the first family home was purchased. It was a small pre-fab home with 3 bedrooms. And as if he didn't already have enough just holding down a fulltime job, he was also building a new house! By the time they moved from the 3-bedroom place it was bursting at the seams trying to hold all 7 kids.

And Gene really cared about his kids. Enough so that he worked all those jobs so that they could have a mother at home to care from them. And... he wasn't above checking on where they were when the went out in the evenings. even to the point of following them around from time to time. You see, his kids weren't allowed to be driving aimlessly around town because "That's how kids get in trouble". Gene always had the best interests of his kids at heart and was always proud of their accomplishments.

He wasn't ever afraid to try and fix something. The story has been related to me that one winter night he climbed up on a frozen roof to run a drain snake down a clogged vent pipe. "Never pay to have something fixed when you can do it yourself" was his motto.

In 1963 Gene was hired by the Koch Oil Refinery, and the family moved to Hastings Minnesota. The subsequent years saw all of the kids grow up and leave the nest.

Dave and Dan followed in Gene's interest in baseball and later in life they both played for pro teams.

Gene's love of sports continued, and Cable TV became one of the greatest inventions of modern time because it brought ESPN!

Despite his good qualities, Gene was not the snappiest dresser. This fact was proven by the time that he mistook a gift of plaid car seat covers for a new suit.

After 25 years of working at the refinery Gene finally retired. Then he and Norma became "snowbirds". To escape the somewhat cooler winters of Midwest, they began to frequent southern Arizona. The two finally moved here permanently in 1998.

It also made it possible for the two of them to spend more time with their passing fancy of golf.

Their progeny grew and grew, and at my last count the number was over 30.

The remaining years saw them traveling to visit the family that had now dispersed over the entire country. I should also like to mention that the cars they traveled in had to have lot of luggage room in the back seat. You see, those golf clubs take up a lot of room in the trunk.

Gene almost achieved his desire to die on the golf course. Just 2 weeks ago, with the help of Dave, Lynne and Tim he made a trip to the course and with a great deal of help managed to hit one last shot off the tee. He kept on saying "How can I die on the course if I'm not out there?"



I first met my future father-in-law while on a one day stopover during a business trip. He was mighty suspicious of this long-haired 24 for year-old that had set his sights on his 17 year-old-daughter. Despite their misgivings, he and Norma treated me with openness and kindness, and the two of them gave me the greatest gift I have ever received when Gene walked his youngest daughter down the aisle and gave me her me. How could I not love the man?



There are so many things to remember about Gene. For me, he is the near mirror image of my own father, but minus the negative qualities.

I will never be able look at a set of worn tires, or a car that needs washing without thinking of Gene. Most of us will never be able be able to forget hearing the words "you know, it might not be any of my business but...". Or how about "If I'm not being too nosy..." I also know that it is impossible to count the number of times he helped with things like thawing out a frozen car engine on a sub-zero Minnesota winter night. It might be possible to say that he got a more involved than he should of in some things, but it was only that, way down deep, he really cared.

I need to say that Gene dearly loved all of his kids and grand kids. The fondest memory for my sons is riding with "Papa" in the golf cart, enjoying the Lemon Drops he would save for them.

Over the years I have come to fully comprehend the deep convictions and fine qualities that were always such a part of him. I can say that of all the men I have known, I honor, respect and admire Gene more than any other. He will be forever with me, and I hope as I go on I can take on more of the positive qualities that he possessed.



So today we begin the next stage of our lives; the one that takes us down the path where Gene is no longer the father or companion by our side. But he lives on in us. We need only look at our children to see him. But just as he shaped our lives while he was here, we now go on with his image impressed on our souls.

It has been said that a parent is like an archer. He holds firmly to his bow, and placing a child like a arrow he spends many years carefully aiming for the center of the distant target, and when the time comes he releases his grip and shoots his child off into the future. For all of us that called him father, that day has come. We now must make the most of what he has given us.

For those of you who called him friend, the story is not very different. Just as each thread in a piece of cloth is dependent and every other thread, Gene's life has played a part in yours. He lives on in you as well.

And finally, you mom. Of all the people who every knew Gene you were his constant helpmate, confidant, support and life-long companion. No one knew ever knew him better or shared more in his frustrations, heartaches, aspirations, and dreams. No one deserves more honor and heartfelt gratitude for the man that Gene became. And no one will feel his loss more. I want to encourage everyone to keep Norma in your prayers and remember that she now needs you more than ever before.



And all this leads me to what I would like to say about mourning and grief.

The loss of anyone close to us causes us to consider the apparent hopelessness of the permanent separation, and so we must grieve. It is normal, natural and something that in most cases must occur. I would like to say don't fight it. The only real problem is never progressing past it, and so we need God's cure.

What's God's cure? The cure is HOPE!

Now the English language does not do justice to the word hope. We tend to use it in a manner that only gives the slightest indication of its deeper meaning. "I hope it doesn't rain for the picnic this Saturday". In this context it is nothing more than wishful thinking. As it is used in the Bible it means the complete opposite. When the Apostle Paul wrote "Christ in you, the hope of glory" he didn't mean we wish that we may obtain glory or we desire that we may have it later, here it means that we look forward with eager anticipation to the fulfillment of a sure and certain promise. "Christ in you, the iron-clad, absolutely certain, no doubt about it, promise of glory!"

So with that understanding, here is what the Paul says about hope and the future in 1 Thessalonians.

Brothers, we do not want you to be ignorant about those who fall asleep, or to grieve like the rest of men, who have no hope. We believe that Jesus died and rose again and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him. According to the Lord's own word, we tell you that we who are still alive, who are left till the coming of the Lord, will certainly not precede those who have fallen asleep. For the Lord himself will come down from heaven, with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first. After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever. Therefore encourage each other with these words.



It is important to realize that we never have to forget Gene in order for the healing of our grief to take place. After the death of his wife, Joy, C.S. Lewis wrote that he remembered her the best after he stopped trying so hard. "I will turn to her as often as possible in gladness. I will even salute her with a laugh. The less I mourn her, the nearer I seem to her."

What Lewis conveyed and what we can learn, is that as time passes we need to dwell less and less on our separation from Gene, and more and more on the wonderful impact he had on our lives and the wonderful future that awaits us together.

God calls to us from eternity and invites us to remember the ultimate end of our journey and the peace and rest and glorious joy that he wants to grant us.

In his article "The Laughter and Longings of C.S. Lewis" Terry Lindvall tells us:

"Throughout his life, stabs of joy were to Lewis like faint whispers from beyond the world, a meek and plaintive call for lost, aimless, weary pilgrims to 'Come home, come home.' This special happiness we seek can be found only in God. Or, as Augustine professed, 'Our hearts are restless until they rest in Thee.' What our hearts seek and hunger after is the overwhelming joy of homecoming and reunion with a Beloved."

We can and should miss those who have gone before us. But Paul tells us that those who are in Christ Jesus have something even greater than we can know or imagine to look forward to. We know the end of the story. We know what lies at life's end! We can eagerly await the fulfillment of God's promise and the great reunion that will take place when reach the end of our lives here, and we are rejoined with God, Gene, and Robin, on the distant shores of eternity.