The Popp Thailand Adoption Journal

November 15

We have finally come down to the wire and Paula and I will be boarding a plane bound for Thailand very late tonight, so this will be our last email until we end up in Southeast Asia.

Things trip related have improved slightly over the past couple of days. Our trip and hotel reservations have been confirmed, and we have contacted an experienced driver who get us around Bangkok for our required meetings.

In a rare, fast email response, the US Embassy in Bangkok responded to my email this morning and said that the Embassy WILL be processing visas on the Friday after Thanksgiving, albeit with a skeleton crew. This is good news since we had previously thought they would be closed.

So we need to finish packing, make sure everything at home is in order, and look forward to a long, boring plane trip.

We will leave Seattle at 3AM Tuesday morning and land in Taiwan, after a 2 hour layover we will be getting on another plane for Bangkok. Once there we will wait for about 8 hours to catch a puddle-jumper airline to Chiang Mai, and we will see Lily for the first time the next morning. We lose a day heading east over the International dateline so it will be Thursday in Thailand (still Wednesday night for most of you) when we see Lily.

After a few days in Chiang Mai we will fly back to Bangkok on Sunday night and begin the legal and administrative hassles starting Monday morning. We have a return flight home on the 30th, but if things go well and flights are available it could be earlier. It is even conceivable that we could be home for Thanksgiving dinner, but this would take several minor miracles.

There are still many things that have to happen and a lot that could go awry. We ask for your continued prayers on our behalf. Please pray for:

Safe travels for Paula, Lily and me.

Safety for Grandma and the other kids here at home.

That things will go smoothly and quickly with the Thai government and the US Embassy.

That Lily will transistion easily and quickly into our family.

That God will be glorified in what we do.

I have to admit that this is a scary trip for me. I am not much of a world traveler and my idea of a perfect vacation is 3 weeks at home with the History Channel. I have been dreading the trip and all that could go wrong, but yesterday in church I got the distinct message that God was trying to tell me something. (This sort of thing is very rare for me!) A reference was made to the spies that went into the Holy Land ahead of the Israelites after leaving Egypt. I thought about the battle of Jericho and got the impression that God was telling me "The walls will fall, for I have given you the city."

So today, while I still have some foreboding, I am more at peace and have the confidence that God is moving before us, and although the unexpected may occur and there may be hassles along the way, things will work out for His glory and our blessing.

We don't know what will happen as far as email contact while we are gone. We will try and keep in touch and let you all know how things are going.

Thank you all, and we hope to email again soon from the other side of the planet.

November 17

It is 1 AM on Thursday November 18 here, and most of you are just starting your workday. We are now in Chiang Mai which is our final destination before seeing Lily for the first time.

The flight from Seattle to Taiwan was long, cramped and boring. The airline fed us 3 times and showed 4 full length movies in the 12 hours of the trip.

We changed planes in Taiwan and then spent another 4 hours flying to Bangkok.

After passing customs and claiming our luggage, we found we had to board a shuttle bus to a different terminal to get to the check in counter of the domestic Airline that would take us to Chiang Mai. It was a terrible ordeal having to ferry the 8 pieces of baggage through the airport, moving it all on to the shuttle, and then unloading it and carting back around in the second terminal.

We were hoping that we would be able to change to an earlier flight so we would not have to wait 7 hours for our scheduled one. Unfortunately, the flight was booked. We tried to check our luggage, but they told us that we would not be able to do that until two hours before the flight. We expected that this might happen, so we called the local Thai driver/guide (Miss Oh) we had contacted and she agreed to come and pick us up and take us to someplace more interesting to spend the hours waiting.

The bad news is that this meant that we had to ferry all of the luggage back on the shuttle, back to the international terminal and across a sky bridge to a hotel lobby where Oh would meet us.

It was 85+ degrees so by this time I was drenched in sweat and getting very frustrated. Miss Oh and her associate, Kwan, arrived and we talked for about 15 minutes. They told us that we would need to take the luggage back to the international terminal and store it there while we left the airport and spent the time waiting elsewhere.

With the luggage under lock and key we took a taxi to a hotel/shopping mall complex where we had several plates of Thai food that set us back a whopping 60 Baht. That comes out to about $1.50 in US dollars.

We talked a lot about our different cultures and our families. Oh is 26 years old and single, She works as a tour guide and driver, and she is very versed in the procedures and appointment timings of Thai adoptions. Kwan is older and and has one daughter. The two of them spent several hours with us and handled everything from getting the taxi to dealing with the airlines.

Bangkok is a busy place, but I was surprised at how similar it is in looks to Southern California. There is a large police presence and cops and guards are everywhere.

Cabs are cheap too. A 15-minute ride was $2.50 USD.

Once we finished breakfast/lunch/dinner (we lost track), we went up to a hotel lobby where Oh knows the desk staff. We sat and discussed the appointments and schedule for next week when we will return to Bangkok to complete the Thai adoption process and obtain Lily's visa to enter the US. Oh is extremely knowledgeable about all the facets and corrected some of the misinformation we had received.

We then returned to the airport, pulled the luggage out of storage and headed back, once again to the domestic terminal to check-in for our flight. Kwan then showed us the corridor that connected the international and domestic terminals, so with a 5-minute walk we were there. Oh handled everything and charmed the ticket agents into giving us a discount for the overweight luggage we were carrying.

Oh and Kwan walked us to the carry-on security check and told us that we did not owe them anything for today because it was just an "informational" visit. I gave them some money anyway and said it was far less than what they deserved. Because of them a very bad situation was remedied. Those of you on our distribution list who are planning Thai adoptions should seriously consider hiring these two. While the real test will come next week, my opinion right now it that you cannot afford to NOT have them helping you.

We sat in the airport for quite a long time because our flight was delayed by nearly and hour.

The flight to Chiang Mai was with NOK airlines on a 737, which meant that we didn't have to share the cabin with livestock like I had envisioned. It was just an hour but it was definitely a true "no frills" flight. A can of Coke was 30 Baht and there were no blankets or pillows, and later the flight attendants came through the cabin trying to sell airplane toys.

We were picked up at the airport and taken to our hotel. Chiang Mai is very busy right now and so we are staying at a small conference center.

The social worker from the orphanage will be coming in the morning to take us to the foster home where Lily is and we will finally get to meet our new daughter! We plan to have her tomorrow and then take her back home for a last night there. Friday we will take physical custody of her. The foster parents already have a new baby scheduled to come in on Friday afternoon.

November 18

Today was much more pleasant then yesterday, but still not without some somber happenings.

Paula and I slept fairly well overnight since it was the first real sleep we had since we left Seattle very early Tuesday morning.

The Orphanage social worker arrived at the place where we were staying at 9 AM and took us to the orphanage where Lily was cared for as an infant. The officials there are still responsible for Lily even though she is in foster care.

We met the director of the orphanage who spoke English refreshingly well. (We found out later that she graduated from Michigan State). She spoke to us briefly about the work the orphanage does, and then had the social worker conduct us on a short tour.

Very sobering stuff. There are nearly 200 kids there, and we are not talking about a 5, 3, or even 1 star facility. They get by on government funding, but as is probably true anywhere, it is not enough.

We visited the building where the 2 year olds are, and they all lined the railing that blocks the door and smiled big and wanted to be held. A little boy named Bon Chew caught my eye and (this will shock a lot of you that know I'm not big on babies) I held him a walked him around for a few minutes. Paula did the same with several others. Some were holding up there arms saying "ma" but we are not sure if it meant anything in particular.

Next we were taken to the second story of the infant building where Lily was cared for a few months before she got sick. We saw about 4 infants sleeping or dozing in cribs while about 10 others were playing and being fed in an adjacent room. We saw a delightful and happy little girl named "Pon" (her full name is longer but I won't even try to spell it.) She has a heart condition and needs surgery, but she is so underweight that she needs to gain some pounds (oops! It's kilos here) before the doctors can consider the surgery she needs.

The orphanage has many volunteers who come to help care for the kids. Many are foreign-born teenagers who attend an international school and spend some of their spare time helping.

Back at the administration office, I asked the director how many kids were under her care. She told us many are in foster care and some other institutions, but the total was about 1000. "Too many babies" she said several times.

One amazing thing happened there. When the director asked where we were staying, we told her that we had tried to get a particular nice hotel in downtown Chiang Mai but we were told on several attempts over several weeks that they were full. The director said she could take care of it, and with one phone call we had a very nice room for 1200 Baht a night. That converts to $30USD for a 5 star hotel. Once again it's who you know that counts!


From the orphanage we made the trip we had anticipated for over a year. We were taken to the foster home and were introduced to Lily. She and her friends were very happy and playful. Her friends were not afraid of us and wanted to play, and Lily was very happy with the animated stuffed dog we brought her. But the hug I had wanted for so long didn't come. Lily was shy and really didn't want to come to us, especially me. Shortly after she warmed up to Paula and would sit in her lap, but I guess I'm the big, scary guy for now.

We went to lunch with the foster parents, their adopted daughter, and Joyce, one of the volunteer workers, and another one of the kids. Lily still didn't really want to come with us much. She enjoyed playing with the other two kids.

After lunch we took Lily for several hours with plans to go swimming. Lily is used to afternoon naps and by this time she was fading fast so we took her back to the room and we all crashed for a bit.

Afterwards we went swimming but time was short before the foster parents were due back to pick up Lily for her last night in the only home she has ever known.

Lily finally let Paula hold her and even sat in her lap. I was not so well received and when I held her she would squirm to get to Paula. A bit later I was able to bribe her with some M&M's to come closer.

The foster parents picked up Lily and drove us to the Chiang Mai night market where we spent several hours walking around looking at the goods for sale and haggling for what we wanted to buy. Bartering is required. Overall, it's just touristy goods but since this was our first visit to the city it was obligatory. We stopped at the corner McDonalds to enjoy that tradition Thai dish "Samurai Pork Burger".

For the return trip we hired a Tuk-tuk, which is a three-wheeled motorcycle with a back seat for two. The drivers are not shy at getting you to where you want to go in a hurry, so it was a 50 mile-an-hour ride on crowded city streets back to our hotel. I was ready to offer him double to slow down.


Tomorrow we will be taken back to the foster home and Lily will be turned over to us. We will have her from then on, but we will meet with the foster parents for lunch and a final goodbye on Saturday. I had always thought that the day would come when the foster parents would return to the US and we could tell Lily that she would she them again someday, but they told us that they have no intentions of ever going back. The kids and their work are here, and the need for what they do will outlive them.


A couple of additions from Paula... .

Hi. I'm a little overwhelmed by today. Life will never be the same. Our visit to the orphanage before ever meeting Lily was distressing. So many babies that I'd like to take home if only they'd consider allowing us to adopt more than one at a time. The toddler with the heart defect especially tugged at my heartstrings. I just think of how much better she'd do in a family and how much sooner she could have her heart surgery. Then the teeny girl that was in the baby room so skinny I was surprised she had the strength to suck on the bottle that was propped with a blanket. When I moved the blanket I could see how little body fat she had and thought that even in Thailand she needed that blanket to maintain her body temperature. Certainly she did not have enough body fat to do the job. Her arm looked black and blue and I have no idea if it was a bruise and what caused it. The workers all seem to love the babies. There are just too many to possibly give them all the attention they need and certainly deserve. While I was anxious to see Lily, it was hard to leave there.

Lily is a ham for the camera, which was so fun to see. She smiles easily and it was clear that she was very excited for us to come, but as Jeff said, was a little on the shy side. Not surprising, but thankfully she was ready to at least try me out for the time being. Daddy has candy in his hands a lot, so I think she'll be warming up to him soon! She is, according to Lily's foster mother, being uncharacteristically quiet with us, so I'm sure we're in for a shock when she decides to start talking!

She was so tired when we went to the mall, all she wanted was for me to hold her. We came back up to the room so that she could nap, but while she lay perfectly still and quiet, she fought hard to keep her eyes open and on Daddy! We woke her up a little later, so that she'd sleep tonight for the foster parents. We went to the pool and boy was she a doll baby in her new shimmery swimsuit! And I have to say that the locals like us a lot more now that we have this gorgeous Thai baby. Everyone smiles or points. The water was cold though and we were out and getting dressed shortly thereafter. I can't believe we are now the parents of four. So far so good.

Okay, off to bed. SOOOOOOOO tired. Thanks for your prayers. It's good to know that we are supported in that way.

November 19

What a day it has been.

Paula and I slept late and so were rushed to be ready for the orphanage social worker when she arrived at 9 AM. So rushed that we had to skip the free breakfast that seems to be included at every hotel.

Waiting in the van was another orphanage worker who was holding the 12 day old baby who who be the latest child in the care of Lily's foster parents.

As we drove to the house, Paula and I knew that the lives were had were about to change forever.

Lily and her two "sisters" Tip and Om Am were in identical dresses and they ran and played.

And now I must take the time to tell you about the amazing family that have cared for Lily and many other children for years.

Richard and Connie are from Arkansas and they came here years ago. Richard works for a consulting firm and Connie cares for children, while adding some occasional teaching.

They have 4 "home grown" children, have adopted Tip ( a minor miracle that required appealing some standing Thai policies ) and they care for 10, yes that number is 10, Thai orphans ranging from a few days to 4 years. Connie would take even more if the law would allow it.

Local Thai women have been hired to help in the child care, and there is also Joyce, an amazing young women from New York who has spent nearly a year as a volunteer working to care for the small army of kids.

Connie is a practical, no-nonsense woman who is stringent with the ways she wants the children cared for, including hygiene standards which tend to not be the norm. Most of the children who come to her are not in the best of health and she insists on taking in sick babies who would not necessarily receive the needed love and care in a larger facility. Lily was such a child who came to the home 3 ½ years ago as a very sick little girl with dim prospects for her future.

Connie was ecstatic at the arrival of the new, albeit sick, baby. The day before she had jokingly told the social worker that Lily couldn't go until a new baby came. Somehow, I think that Connie probably wasn't really joking.

We spent about 2 hours at the home reviewing pictures and talking about our homes and lives. Then it was time for Lily to say goodbye to the ladies who had cared for her for over 3 years.

Connie and Richard have some American friends here and Kathy and her husband have taken Lily for many weekends in order to get her used to the idea of not being in her home 7x24 so she would be more at ease with the transition to our family. They had wanted to adopt Lily, but Thai Law prohibits it.

Kathy arrived to say her goodbyes, and it was a sad and tearful parting all around. The Thai women held Lily and cried. Kathy tried to hold back but was not completely successful. Tip and Om Am seem to understand that Lily will now be gone from their lives, but we know that Lily doesn't fully comprehend what is now in store for her.

Finally the time came and Connie knew that it was time for the parting to end. "Come on, that's it" she said, and we gathered up Lily's things and the many gifts she had received.

We got into the car and drove away.

We went to Richard's office and then we all went out for lunch. Richard and I talked about all these kids and the tremendous need for loving families to come forward and take them in. Paula, Connie and Joyce talked about kids and childbirth. The entire time Connie was holding the new baby and handed him to Paula only to drive the car. By the way, seat belts and car seats are not required here.

We have made plans to join Richard and Connie again tomorrow for lunch, and then forego the regular Chiang Mai tourist activities to attend the baseball games of 2 of their children.

Richard and Connie are amazing people and I cannot ever say enough good things about them. Their assistance with our visit was more than we could ever have asked and without them this portion of the trip would have been a disaster.

After lunch we came back to the hotel and then to an attached mall to buy Paula a hair dryer to replace the one that was fried when the 240 volt to 120 volt converter we brought didn't work as advertised.

We then tried the pool again but Lily was too cold and we came back to the hotel room. Lily started us all out for a quick nap.

Hmmm, did I say quick? 3 hours later I woke up and saw that it was after 8. I guess the last 4 days have finally caught up with us, and we are feeling the effects of a whirlwind trip and the emotional rollercoaster it has brought.

It is now after 10, and Lily has stirred and awoken Paula. Paula is making oatmeal since the restaurants are now closed. I was able to sneak off for a quick bite about 45 minutes ago.

I do want to tell you all about Lily. She is a delightful child and is always happy. The only time she has cried has been when Paula and I tried to swing her when she wasn't expecting it, and when the fast-closing elevator doors (they all seem to be that way here) hit her. She is now very wary of going in and out of them.

Paula is a hit with Lily and she has no problems running to her with arms up and giving many hugs. I have not yet been so blessed. She now knows that an M&M will cost a hug, but she will just back up to me and let me put my arms around her for about half a second. But, that's progress!

What a glorious child. Looking at her I can have no doubt that this is the right thing to do and it was no mistake to take this path. It's all worth it folks!

It's the finish of a long day, but with Lily up and rested there is no telling how or when it will end.

Until tomorrow-

November 20

There is a fair amount to talk about today.

The three of us got back to sleep around midnight and we woke at about 7 AM. We made it a very leisure morning and got to the restaurant for our free breakfast at 9.

We discussed still trying to make it to an elephant ride but discovered that the travel time and the time for the ride would prevent us from meeting the foster family as we had planned. We felt that spending time with them and trying to thank them for all that they had done for Lily was much more important.

We met a very nice couple with a 4 year old son while eating. Eduardo is a doctor of aquaculture at the University of Manila and Mai is his wife. They were excited to hear of our adoption, and talked for about 10 minutes and exchanged contact information. They want to hear how things go for us.

Richard picked us up soon after and we went to pick Connie, Om Am, and Tip. Just as we expected Connie had the newborn with her, I don't think that baby will be out Connie's sight anytime in the next 3 years.

We had a picnic on grass mats under shade on a residential street. Yes, on the street itself. We spent more time talking about the work that they do and how we could help from back in the US. Their greatest need is for volunteers to come and work for a while caring for the children and helping to get them well. We plan to contact churches to see what we can do. They also said that there are few things that are not already available in Thailand. Since most things cost less here and import duties are randomly charged, it makes little sense to be shipping goods. Their largest expenses are hired help and diapers. When we get back to the US we want to see what we can do to help this remarkable family.

Joyce arrived a bit later and joined in the gathering.

After this we watched the softballs games that two of their kids (Lance and Bethany) played in, We met several other couples there who are friends of Richard and Connie, some who work with Richard. We tried to watch the games but we spent more time talking about Thailand, life in the U.S., and the all the children in Richard and Connie's care.

Joyce will be leaving at the end of the month to return to the U.S. She wants to bring one of the children with her while she visits and is trying to arrange it with the Thai government before she needs to leave. We hope to have her return via Seattle and visit us and Lily before she heads home to the east coast.

It was soon over and we dropped every one but we three off at the house. It was the final goodbye for Lily and Connie made sure it went quickly for everyone's sake. All of Connie's workers were lined up with kids in strollers to wave goodbye. The scene reminded me of the end of C.S. Lewis' story "The Voyage of the Dawn Treader. As the ship turns to sail away back to Narnia everyone is in full armor on the deck with all shields displayed and all flags unfurled. All bid their farewells as the ship moves away and a final salute is given to those who remain behind.

It was especially touching when Om Am wanted to have one last moment with Lily to say "I love you Lily". As Richard drove us back to the hotel we all lost it and cried.

So the first portion of our journey is complete. We have our wonderful daughter and her new life begins tomorrow as we fly back to Bangkok to begin the legal processes on Monday that will permit us to bring her home. A lot will need to happen in the five days that follow. This evening we will rest easy, go out for dinner and pack for tomorrow's flight. The hassles will start soon enough. I'm not going to worry about them tonight.

Paula and Lily are sitting on the floor reading. Lily is wearing a cute purple dress with her long black hair hanging down. Our little china doll is the most adorable thing in the world. We do not deserve this wonderful child!

November 22

Sunday was our travel day back to Bangkok and so I decided to forego a daily update which would be nothing more than a travelogue.

One nice thing was that two young ladies who were Lily's former caretakers met us at the airport to say goodbye to her. Lily was thrilled to see them. Rachel will be traveling back to the U.S. soon, and we hope she will be able to stop in Seattle and see Lily again.

Miss Oh and Kwan met us at the airport and took us to our new hotel. The place is really and small apartment in a building that caters to Japanese business people. It has a small kitchen and a nice swimming pool. It is in a section of town not frequented by tourists, so there is not much around in the way of restaurants.

At the pool we met Elaine and Paul, who are another couple from the US who are adopting here. They invited us to a dinner cruise so we went out on Sunday night.

Monday was to begin the legal processes, but as is so common, things were already snafu'ed.

The orphanage in Chiang Mai was supposed to send Lily's original birth certificate to Bangkok, but instead sent a copy. Without the original her passport could not be created. This immediately put us a day behind on our schedule.

Paula called Miss Oh, and almost before we knew what happened, Oh had a contingency plan in place. The original is being sent overnight, and everything that was supposed to happen on Monday is now set for Tuesday. We should be back on schedule by the end of today. Oh also says she believes that she has it worked out for us to have our Visa interview on Friday and we won't have to wait into next week.

We took advantage of the free day to visit the Rose Garden outside of Bangkok. We saw a Thai cultural show and an elephant work demonstration. Lily and Paula also rode an elephant. We also had lunch at an upscale restaurant there that caters to tourists. Great Thai food that, for the 3 of us, set us back a whopping $15.25 with tip. First lesson of eating in Thailand - American food- expensive, Thai food - cheap. Again, Oh and Kwan arranged everything and made sure we got where we needed to be.

Lily loves Paula but still wants nothing to do with me. She will fight to get away from me. The only time I can hold her is when she is sleeping.

On the way home from the Rose Garden we needed to stop at the store for groceries and I took Lily while she slept and waited in the van. While everyone was gone Lily woke up and started screaming when she saw that it was just me. She cried and screamed until Oh came and took her back to Paula.

It's now Tuesday morning and Oh will come to get us in a few hours to start the day's legal hassles. We should get Lily's passport and then be able to get her to the required medical exam. Tomorrow comes the all important meeting with the Thai government.

If we can finish everything on Friday, we may be able to spend the weekend at a beach resort and/or return to the U.S. a touch early. While we want to take full advantage of the time here, I am already anxious to return home.

November 24

It's been two days and we have made it through the majority of our legal procedures.

Tuesday morning we went to the Thai agency office and got all the paperwork required to proceed.

From there we went the hospital for Lily's required medical examination. All in all it was little more than a formality and paperwork.

Today, Wednesday, was the critical Thai DSDW interview. Again, this is not much more than a formality. We met with a panel of 3 women who spoke English well. They asked us various questions about our family, work and Lily. They were keenly interested in our homeschooling. After a few minutes more of questions one of the ladies surprised us by saying simply "If you like her you can have her."

After waiting outside for a few minutes we received the legal form that gives us custody of Lily. This was the end of all dealings with the Thai government.

From there we went for our "interview" with the U.S. INS office. It was nothing more than answering a few questions face to face with a rep and him writing our answers on a form.

Afterwards we crossed the street, passed the armed guards and went to the U.S. Consulate to apply for Lily's entrance Visa. The only thing remaining is having the Consulate issue Lily's visa to enter the U.S.

Again, Miss Oh and Kwan jumped in and handled EVERYTHING for us. Even in the US INS office and Embassy the workers are Thai. Having someone to act as your envoy and advocate, and someone who knows the processes is a value beyond measure. Another family here with us made a valiant effort to have everything just as required, but they did not know that the document translator made an error on one form. When they reached the INS office the workers there refused to accept it. Also, a discrepancy in some of the documents we have received caused the family to take visa photos that were not acceptable. These both had the potential to create severe problems and delay all of the procedures that needed to follow. Oh and Kwan saw they were in trouble and jumped in, with no thought of compensation, to assist. Oh called the translator and had a corrected copy faxed to the INS office. She then ran them over to a nearby building to take proper photos. There was a delay, but the day ended with everyone being back on track.

For those of you currently involved in Thai adoptions, I cannot overemphasize the fact that, unless you read and speak fluent Thai, and unless you are intimately familiar with every aspect of the adoption procedures and all that can go wrong, DO NOT DO THIS ALONE!! The cost of hiring Oh and Kwan is dirt-cheap compared to the stress, aggravation, costs and potential delays that can occur if even the smallest thing goes wrong.

I would also strongly advise that if you are in the very early stages of adoption, you should insist that your agency include Oh and Kwan's services as part of your adoption package. China and I believe Korea have reps to accompany and assist adoptive parents. There is no reason parents in Thailand should have to go it alone.

We were not able to get our Visa interview for Friday as we had hoped. We are now scheduled for 8 AM Monday morning and we should get the visa on Monday afternoon so we can leave as planned on Tuesday morning.

The Consulate said that they have changed their procedures and they are no longer issuing the visas so rapidly. We are not yet sure what this means, but those of you coming here need to know that there is now a greater potential for you to stay longer than previously expected. Kwan is checking with his contacts inside the Embassy to determine the full impact of what this change will mean for adoptive parents. Kwan used to work for the Peace Corps and his old supervisor now works inside the Visa section of the Embassy.

We are now on complete free time for the rest of week and the weekend. We are looking in to going to a beach south of Bangkok for a couple of days.

Lily is now her active, talkative, adorable self, and is the happy child we saw when she was with her foster family. She will go to anyone and lights up a room her happy smile. The bad news is that she likes and will go to everyone except me. She actively avoids me and turns away when ever I even look at her. Her disdain for me has only seemed to increase. I cannot figure out what is going on in that little mind, but it hurts beyond words.

November 25

We are now at a hotel in the town of Cha-am on the west coast of the Gulf of Thailand. It is a small beach area with white sand and warm water. The ocean here is very much like Southern California, except that you can swim without feeling cold. The waves are very small so there is no body surfing. Perhaps that may change with the typhoon that is expected south of here! LOL

The other adopting family we told you about yesterday joined us for this trip and we shared the van ride here. Once again, Oh and Kwan arranged everything and accompanied us.

This afternoon we walked across the street to the water. We waded in the water and had dinner on the beach. Oh and Kwan hopped a bus back home and we are now back in our room winding down from the day.

Yes, it's Thanksgiving, but no turkey dinner here. Cheap Thai food again.

Last night Paula called Lily's foster mother and they had a long talk about Lily and her personality and temperament. The very short version is that we have now changed our tactics in dealing with her. Today she had several items go to toy jail, and had to sit through several time outs. We are forcing her to have to come to me for treats, and to talk to me when she wants something or needs to ask permission. She still has a long way to go but we have already seen some degree of improvement.

We would like to thank all of you have responded with advice and encouragement about this issue.

The staff of Dr. Bledsoe - the doctor who is an expert in medicine for international adoptions, have been receiving our updates, and this morning they responded with some encouragement and suggestions.

I now know that this may be a long time getting resolved, and we may be in for a long and trying time. The hug I have waited a year and a half for will have to wait some time longer.


We will be here until Sunday when we will return to Bangkok. Monday at 8AM we have our visa interview and we will pick up the visa itself on Monday afternoon. During the time in between we plan to take a small tour (Oh and Kwan again) and in the early evening one last round of shopping before flying back home very early Tuesday morning. Thailand is an interesting place and overall I have enjoyed the trip but I am looking forward to returning home.

[Insert Music - Neil Diamond, They're Coming to America]

The next few days should just be relaxing and we do not expect anything unusual, so we may not send any updates until Monday.

Tomorrow is the Thai festival of Loi Kratong, a celebration of water. It is traditional to make floating wreaths of flowers, paper and candles. Once they are completed Thais will light the candles and float them on the nearest body of water after nightfall. We plan to participate with Lily to make a memory for her that may need to last a lifetime. If she ever returns here it may be many years in the future.

Thank you all for you support and prayers. We'll get back to you again in a few days.

November 28

Our mini vacation in Cha-Am was restful and calm.

We are now back in Bangkok and ready to begin our final round of dealings with the US Consulate. We have our "interview" at 8 AM, and we should be able to pick-up Lily's entry visa at 3 PM. Once we have it in hand we are home free, and the only thing that can stop us is the airlines.

While in Cha-Am Lily was on her best behavior and charming everyone she saw. Three ladies in a beauty/massage salon gave us "Kratongs" to float for Loi Kratong two nights ago. The following day I stopped in for a foot massage and Paula went in there for a manicure.

One other thing about the Festival of Loi Kratong is that along with the floating of candles and flowers on the water, Thais also launch lanterns into the night sky. These lanterns are large plastic bags with wood and wax candles suspended below. Once the candles are lit the hot air fills the bag until it ascends and is taken by the wind. We spent the entire evening watching, both from the beach and our hotel balcony, hundreds of lanterns sail up and out over the ocean.

We also met Pele and Inger, a couple from Sweden. They recently opened a bar on a side street near the beach. I stopped in two nights ago for a coke, and we all went in to say hello last night. I guess business is slow for them. On both visits we were the only ones in the place.

The really good news is that Lily and I had a bit of a breakthrough. Last night while we were out we found a beautiful little dress with Changs on it. (Chang- Thai for Elephant) Lily was very excited about it and understood that I was buying it for her. She smiled and thanked me for it. When we got back to the room and she tried it on I asked for a hug and she gave it willingly. Ever since then things have been better. She lets me hold her a bit and does not try to move away from me. Today has been the same. I helped her get in to her "Baby Chang" dress today and she was excited all over again. She even asked me to read to her tonight, and the word "daddy" is now being used to reference me. We still have a way to go but we are very encouraged.

November 29

We went to the U.S. Consulate very early this morning for our scheduled visa interview. As a change of pace the gentleman behind the window was courteous and pleasant. He took some information and then wanted to see Lily so he could match her to her passport photo. He then handed back most of the paperwork they had kept on Wednesday.

Then we got the nastiest shock of the trip. He told us that the computer system was down and we would not be able to receive Lily's U.S. entrance visa until Tuesday afternoon. With our return flight to the US leaving at 6 AM, this posed quite a problem. We begged him to do what ever he could to get us the visa that day since we had to leave. I even offered to try and fix their computer systems. The other adoptive couple was told that their visa would be delayed as well, but their return flight is not until Wednesday so it was not a problem.

He told us that he would see what he could do but that U.S. policy had changed and all adoptive parents needed to be aware that, in the future, they can not be sure of meeting with the DSDW on Wednesday and having a visa by Friday afternoon. New policies will require name checks back to the U.S. that will be delayed by the 15-hour time difference. Future adoptive parents please be warned! You may need to plan to return the Tuesday or Wednesday AFTER the DSDW meeting.

We left hoping and praying for the best. Miss Oh said she would call back to the office around 1 PM to check on the status of things.

Oh and Kwan told us that they have received calls from another adoptive family and even an adoption agency about services they can provide. It sounds like the recommendations from us and others are making a difference. Hopefully their business will prosper. They are great people and deserve it.

One other issue of note was that the other adoptive family was told that one of their original documents was not included in the package they submitted. Elaine made a frantic search through her paperwork and asked the lady behind the counter to double-check, but she insisted that it was not included. Elaine continued to look while Miss Oh went to the window. Oh came back a few minutes later and said that the lady had finally looked again and found it.

We all left for a boat ride and a tour of the Thai Grand Palace and the Buddhist Temple that holds the Jade Buddha. Buddhist temples and beliefs are definitely not my cup of tea, but the architecture and artwork hold some interest for me.

On the way back Oh called the Consulate and learned that both of our families would be receiving our visas at 3 PM. We had lunch at a restaurant near the embassy and then went over to pick up the final paper needed to bring Lily home.

We returned to the hotel and Paula, Elaine and Oh went shopping. Kwan stayed and he and I spent time talking about life in Thailand, the US and why we wanted to adopt. I told him that I believed a lot of people in the U.S. have grown selfish, and that caring for orphans had to be more than just writing a check and calling it good.

Later Lily and I had a very trying time when she had a tantrum and a crying fit that lasted an hour. She calmed down about 15 minutes before the ladies returned. I thought the turmoil would set our relationship back to square one, but by bedtime she was fine and gave me a hug.

We said our goodbyes to Oh and Kwan and we hope to see them when they travel to Washington D.C. next summer. It is plain to see that our relationship has transcended business and we have become friends.

In just a few hours we will be boarding a plane and leaving Thailand behind. I can't wait to be home with Lily as our new daughter. The one hitch is that we have a 7-hour layover in Taiwan that may be a lot for Lily to handle.

So, this will be our last log entry until we are home again. Tomorrow we will send our final edition. The last leg of our trip to welcome our new daughter is nearly at and end, and the phase that will begin our new lives together is about to begin.

Final Entry

We are finally home.

The plane flights back were uneventful. Our layover in Taiwan went quickly because we found that the airport had a playground for kids. Lily had a great diversion and the time passed quickly.

One other thing about this airport is that there is an endless supply of duty free gift shops selling all sorts of high end items, but next to no restaurants. I would have been grateful find a Burger King and even pay those inflated prices, but there were only 4 eateries and only 2 served hot food. I decided to wait while Paula ordered a beef and rice dish. After she got about half way through the 50-50 meat/gristle chucks she found a fish head staring up out of the rice at her. She was done and I was glad an airline meal was only about 4 hours away.

The flight back to Seattle seemed to go quickly. Paula and Lily slept for most of the trip. I was able to doze a bit but not much more.

We arrived on time and had to wait at Immigration while they processed Lily's paperwork, but it all went smoothly. Every time we handed over 1 Thai and 2 US passports the Immigration staff quickly saw that we were adopting and congratulated us. We gathered our luggage and the when the customs officer also realized that we were adopting he passed us through without an inspection and said "Let's get you folks out of here and home."

In the terminal we were greeted by two good friends and our other 3 children. They made a large banner to welcome Lily. She took a quick liking to everyone and was excited to be with other kids. It is plain to see that Alicia, our 15 year old, will have to be careful that she doesn't become a second mom to her little sister.

On the way home we stopped at McDonalds for lunch (for some reason the menu did not include the "Samurai Pork Burger".) We also stopped at our church and showed off our new daughter. We had a heavy coat ready for Lily since the current weather in Seattle is not quite as balmy as Bangkok. It is cold and wet.

We then came home and Lily met her new grandma, Paula's mother.

Lily is already comfortable here in the house and is enjoying exploring and running up and down the stairs. She is loving having the other kids and our dog around her. All indications at this point are that her transition will go well. She still has some problems with me, but I got two good hugs this evening and that will certainly do for now.

I was able to get some sleep between 6 and 10 tonight. Paula is sleeping now but Lily keeps getting up and exploring the house. The next few weeks should be pretty interesting!

Since we were in Thailand for Thanksgiving, we will be observing it this Thursday. On Friday we will be decorating the house for Christmas and our holiday season will begin. This year we have a very special gift to celebrate. Our family has grown and the courses of our lives are forever changed.


It has been an amazing 2 weeks. We have been to the far side of the world and back. We have made some great new friends and many new acquaintances. We have heeded and obeyed what we believe to be God's call and are already reaping blessings for it. Our pictures are on-line and you may view by clicking on the link at the bottom of this page.

The road we traveled to reach this point has been long and fraught with highs and lows of emotion. The future is going to be filled with excitement, heartache, sorrow and joy, but I am confident that 20 years from now Paula and I will be looking back and saying that it was all worth it, and would we do it all again in heartbeat. I can't wait to see what Lily's future and that of everyone in our family will bring in the years to come.


So I now want to close by asking you all to consider the joy of adoption. We here in the west, even we Christians, seem to have lost sight of what it means when James 1:27 says to "care for widows and orphans in their distress." Our culture and economy have made it too easy for us to simply write a check to a charitable cause and walk away feeling like we have done our job. I have come to understand that "care for" means more than giving money and calling it good. Even if Bill Gates gave every penny he had it would not provide these kids with what they really need: parents and families. It takes people coming forward and opening their homes and hearts. I want to ask all of you to please honestly and earnestly look at all you have and all the blessings that God has given you. Sometime in the next few days take some quiet moments and ask yourself if there isn't room in your home for a child that doesn't have one. There are millions of kids out there. Chances are excellent there is at least one waiting for you. Please don't turn your back or brush this aside. There are little lives out there that need us.


From the new Popp family of 6, we wish you all the best, God's blessings and a joyous Christmas season.

Jeff, Paula, Alicia, Alex, Josiah and Lily.


"Sawadee"

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Jeff Popp
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