From here on out, I would like to start putting up on this page stories or poems picked out by WA Members. Send it to me via the message board or email: weird_hq@yahoo.com
The Frog And The Scorpion Long ago there was a Scorpion who came upon a river and wished to cross it, but, being a scorpion, he could not swim. So the Scorpion walked up and down the river bank until he met up with the Frog.
"Frog," said the Scorpion. "Would you please give me a ride across the river?"
"No!" the Frog exclaimed. "I will not! You would sting me!"
Well, Frog and Scorpion talked for a long time, and Scorpion finally convinced Frog to give him a ride across the river, saying, "I promise I will not sting you. After all, if I were to sting you them you would be paralyzed and we would both drown. That just wouldn't make any sense to do."
The Frog agreed and the Scorpion climbed on Frog's back and they began to cross the river. About halfway across the river, the Frog felt a sting upon his neck.
"What did you do that for?" Frog cried out. "Now we both shall die!"
"I'm sorry," the Scorpion answered. "I couldn't help it. It's my nature."
~An old folktale
Told to me by: Marcus Kreftingposted: 03-22-2001
Dark Chi walks up behind Lycorne with a big, rubber.......... Spork.
"Lycorne I see your spork is as big as mine....." he says. He Smacks her upside the head with the spork. "HAHAHAHA........ Die litte founder woman I am now ruler of WA........ Wait there is one spork bigger than mine......" Continues laughing at Lycorne, the elf with no morals, no purpose, no spork, yet great hair. "HAHAHA........." He reapears five feet away. "Got to get that fixed..." Dark Chi walks off.A mysterious figure crashes through a huge skylight, and floats to the floor in the center of the room, large purple cape flowing behind him.
"Ha! I see you have lost your spork! You can no longer defend yourself against me, O sporkless leader." DarkFyre says as he produces a giant spork from his pants and faces Lycorne, wiggling it tauntingly in her face. "How do you like my spork? Really? You love the size of it? Wow! Gee, thanks alot! Hold on a second."He runs over and tackles Katana. Trying to molest her in wierd, yet pleasing ways.
"Oh! Love me like that! Like you used to!!!!!" He gets off of her after licking her face and legs like a lost puppy. "You know I like it like that, Katana!!!!!!" DarkFyre looks at her sheepishly, and admires her breasts. "Ohhhhhhhh................ You know that I'm staring at your boobs right? Yes, you like it when I do that, don't you? Yes, please give me ................" He glaces over at Lycorne, embarrased. "Oh, um.........."Dark Chi walks back in looking for something.
"Has anyone seen..... Wow! you got a huge spork man.... Oh, Dragon Lady, you're here..." He notices she is covered in a sticky liquid, "OOOOOO...... You and purple boy have been........ oh, can i join?"Chi tackles Katana humping her leg.
"Man is this guy crazy or what?""Shutup!!!!!!!!! I am not crazy!!!!!!!! Hey get off of Katana like that," DarkFyre yells. "Only I can hump her in any way humanly possible!!!"
::What if he isn't human?::
"I'll get you!!!!!!"DarkFyre smacks Chi really hard with his big purple spork, knocking him off of Katana. He then precedes to hump Katana's leg furiously, and with passion.
"Oh! Ohhh! Ohhhhhh!!!! Give me that sweet lovin' Katana!!!!!!!!"Chi gets up, "Share and share alike a** hole!" He looks around and grabs the new girl he doesn't know. "Jamei....... Hello sweet momma want to get it on....... ? Yes I am sexy ... dead sexy."Chi rubs his nipples and then reaches for Jamei's.
DarkFyre trips Chi, while still humping Katana's leg. "Ow!!!!!!!!! What did you do that for? Man, you broke my rythm, and it was the only one I had for the week!!!!!!!! Man, now I've gotta get my groove thang on wit somebody else!!!!!" DarkFyre watches as Chi lays on the floor still reaching for Jamei's ears. "Man, you need to sweeten yourself on the ladies before doing things like that to them.........................."DarkFrye grabs Katana and Jamei, and drags them both away under his cape. "Hee, Hee!!!!!!!! Toys for later, when I'm bored, and need some rhythmic lovin'..........."
Chi gets up and whimpers, then two unknown beatiful women come pulling a large carriage behind them. The carriage has on the side written in bold letters "Leather Lovin' Bondage Mobile"
"Well, Since you have taken the women I will take my leave of you all......." He gets in his carrige and rides away.*
Lycorne re-enters, "Guys... three things...
A: you're sick and twisted, but that's why you're here so i'll let that go.
B: Katana is probably going to kill the both of you... as slowly and painfully as she can.
C: You've insulted my honor as a warrior, and for that you shall pay!"Lycorne draws her diamond-bladed longsword and chops every spork on the board to little, bitty bits.
DarkFyre pulls out another diamond Spork that is so invicible that it can never be chopped up. "I now brought out the secret weapon..... Be dethroned......"Vice President Johnny Chi steps in "Stop it all of you bad people......"Lycorne glances at Chi, "Right... you are so very innocent in all this i'm sure..."Lycorne's sword still beats DarkFyre's spork because a sword is designed for fighting and actually has an edge. "No De-throning me Fyre! Besides i'm the one who makes the diamond weapons around here, and i've never made a spork... So, either it's from outer space, or i was very-very drunk while working at the forge...."DarkFyre smacks Lycorne furiously and passionately pulling out the most invicible purple spork ever, that is indistructible and pokes her tauntingly with it.
"Take the power of space age gundanium sporks....."Lycorne raises an eybrow at the new spork. "Gundanium... By the gods..." Begins to roll in the floor laughing. "That's great... *hah hah hah* Oh... perfect... *hah hah hah* you've seen too much anime... *hah hah hah*""Alright....... thats cold." DarkFyre grabs her sword and breks it in half with the gundanium spork. "Take that......" He enchants the spork with the power of Astral Vine....Lycorne angrily looks at DarkFyre. "Oh i know you didn't just use Zelgadis's spell... You're gonna get it..." She advances menacingly on DarkFyre. "You're in trouble now..." She yanks him by the ear and ties him in front of a big screen tv, tapes his eyelids open and turns on a sailor moon marathon, then stuffs some Hazel Green HS lunchroom oatmeal cookies down his throat for good measure.DarkFyre sits there happily content with anime in front of him, and he's getting fed , nasty stuff, but fed, nonetheless.
"Thanks for the anime and food, now die!!!!!!" He hits her with the gundanium spork on the head........... and uses the Astral Vine enchantment on her. "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA""Damn mortals...." Lycorne catches the spork after astral vine wears off and pulls it out of Dark Fyre's grip, putting it in the toy chest and locking it up. "That's quite enough of that..."Dark Chi opens the toy chest and grabs the Gundanium spork, and watches as darkfyre gets a boner from watching Sailor Moon. "Dang that guy is a super freak, he's super freaky, YOW!!" Chi skips off playing with the very dangerous spork.Lycorne watches Chi go and shrugs. "Have fun creating mayhem... be back in time for dinner!"Chi walks over and steals darkfyre's cape and dumps Katana out. "Dragon Lady I love you......." He huggles the Dragon Lady and snickers at darkfyre.Katana Dragonsoul begins to growl furiosly, "You are going to pay!!!! Desecrating me while i've been away!!" She looks for a painful weapon, sees her katana of choice and throws it down. "A spork, eh? no match!" She rears her hand back and whacks dark chi and darkfyre on the back of their heads. "And I'm not done!" In light of the new sailor moon episodes, she prays for a unicorn named pegasus to trample them both. THPPPPPTT! :P "Oh, and while we're on the anime thing....here's something to remember....KAMEHAMEHA!!!! Thanks Lycorne for the back up." Smiles innocently.
posted: 10-01-2000
The Madman It was in the garden of a madhouse where I met a youth with a face pale and lovely and full of wonder.
And I sat beside him upon the bench, and I said, "Why are you here?"
And he looked at me in astonishment, and he said, "It is an unseemly question, yet I will answer you. My father would make me a reproduction of himself; so also would my uncle. My mother would have me the image of her illustrious father. My sister would hold up her seafaring husband as the perfect example for me to follow. My brother thinks i should be like him, a fine athlete.
" And my teachers also, the doctor of philosophy, and the music-master, and the logician, they too wer determined, and each would have me but a reflection of his own face in a mirror.
" Therefore I came to this place. I find it more sane here. At least, I can be myself."
Then of a sudden he turned to me and he said, "But tell me, were you also driven to this place by education and good council?"
And I answered, "No, I am a visitor."
And he said, "Oh, you are one of those who live in the madhouse on the other side of the wall."
~From The Wanderer,
Written by: Kalil Gibran
In 1932posted: 06-15-1999
