And yet, in my observation, it does not seem to have much to do with age. On the one hand, there were various men I knew, still in their early-to-mid twenties, who already had a paunch hanging down. On the other hand, there was the time I happened to stroll across a beach where homosexual men hung out, and there was a man with completely silver hair, lined face indicating at least fifty years of life, yet he was lean, fit, and still sexy in his bikini. So I do not believe gaining weight is "inevitable" with age; it seems more correlated with lifelong habits.
I am sorry, but I need to ask: why do you never see men like that on heterosexual beaches? On heterosexual beaches, the stereotype is that the man in the bikini is always the one with the huge stomach, and I have seen a lot of truth in that stereotype. But it did not apply on that gay beach. What's wrong with straight folks? Why does it seem many straight men are more prone just to let themselves go?
Also, let me say, I do not understand those ads for "healthy" foods. You know the ones I mean: some new product, high in fiber, makes a point of saying it actually tastes good, unlike the alleged cardboardy taste of other high-fiber foods. Huh? Peaches are high in fiber, and I have never had a peach that tasted like cardboard. Apples are high in fiber; and while "Red Delicious" is admittedly like cardboard, the same cannot be said for the Golden Delicious, Gala, Fuji, and Braeburn that fill the produce shelves. Whole-grain breads are high in fiber, and, having inhaled the delicious aroma of warm rye, I find it hard to believe anyone could think it tasted like cardboard. I will say, however, that "white bread" tastes pretty much like Play-Doh, and I see no reason to eat it. So where are these alleged disgusting, nasty, healthy foods?
Nor do I understand references to "vegetables yo have no idea how to prepare." In my experience, most veggies are really not that picky as to how they get prepared. I go through the line at the food bank, and find they have so much extra collard greens, they offer me a double ration. They explain, "A lot of people don't know how to cook them." I reply, "It's not hard -- you can steam them, you can stir-fry them, you can do just about anything with them." Maybe the problem is the recipes on the Internet, all of which are so full of ingredients, anyone would be daunted. I like my food simple. Some days I stir-fry my veggies and pour them over rice. Some days I toss them into my nearly-done pasta to boil for a couple of minutes before draining and adding the pasta sauce. Some days I throw lots of different kinds into a saucepan to stew in each other's juices and form my own version of ratatouille. So what if it is not an authentic ratatouille? It still tastes good. Will someone please explain to me where you ever got the idea that vegetables are difficult?
As long as we are on the subject -- please do not hate me -- I do not understand food cravings, either. The only craving I ever had was when I was staying several days at a house where it seemed the only food was meat and grains. I think maybe I was developing some kind of vitamin deficiency, because I was frantically searching for fruit. Eventually I found a lemon; I took that lemon, cut it up, and ate it like an orange, leaving only the peel. Ever since, I always eat the lemon slices that come in my iced tea at restaurants. So if the only food craving I ever had was for a vitamin-rich food my body needed, what am I to make of the junk food cravings I hear people describe?
In a roundabout way, the point of this article is to foster understanding. If you are currently struggling to control your weight, and it appears to you that skinny people like me are narcissistic assholes who look down on you, please realize: it is difficult to be understanding when everything we hear you saying is so alien to our experience of life. We cannot fit such things into our frame of reference. Our experience seems as self-evident to us as yours does to you.
And if you, dear reader, are currently looking down on overweight people, I must warn you not to get too smug. My mother was slender all her life -- so slender that, whenever she was pregnant, her doctor would order her to gain weight. With menopause, and the metabolic changes that came with it, all that changed, and now she, too, must watch her weight. I do not believe weight gain is inevitable with age; but what is inevitable is metabolic changes. I have seen it myself: in my early twenties, I was like Jughead from the "Archie" comics, able to pack away the food and never gain a pound. That is no longer true, it will never be true again, and I have had to change my eating habits accordingly. I just don't have the appetite I used to; going back for seconds feels like a chore, not a treat.
As she makes her own journey of health and nutrition, my mother has found the online community of SparkPeople. She tells me some of the stories from her SparkFriends, and I see the difficulty of their lives. I can only imagine what it would be like: lie down to do your floor workout, and have to worry about whether you are strong enough to lift yourself up again. In my leisure time, I love to spend a whole day walking for miles through the wild hills, climbing dry waterfalls, picking my way along rocky slopes. If I was unable to do these things, my life would be so much poorer. This is the tragedy of the SparkPeople: no doubt each has a list of activities he or she would like to do, but is physically unable. Their weight is their prison, confining and fettering them as effectively as any chain. These people do not need more ridicule and judgment.
