It's my birthday tomorrow!

It used to be that I felt victimized by my birthday. I remember other children's birthday parties from my early childhood when the child of honor was celebrated with as many birthday attendants, and therefore presents, as possible. I remember at least one such party that my mother held for my older brother Michael that involved an Easter Bunny cake and many kids (his birthday corresponds with that holiday sometimes). I was kept from the festivities because I think I was either two or three at the time, so was confined to a play pen. By the time I was old enough to ask for such a party my mother was burned out on the process and refused.

It wasn�t like I didn�t try. I remember one birthday, it should have been my seventh or eighth birthday, I attempted to hold my own birthday party. With my mother�s permission, which was only given under duress, I sent out invitations. I didn�t realize that you should give most mothers a month�s notice for such a gathering. I gave just under five days notice. Everyone I invited declined.

Most of the time, the presents I remember most receiving were things like books or clothing, but the one birthday present that sticks in my mind was on my tenth birthday. I played violin ever since I�d convinced my parents to buy me a violin and pay for lessons in second grade. My grandparents were very musical: my grandfather had an excellent singing voice and quite talented on the guitar and mouth harp, my grandmother played piano and mandolin. They never taught me anything they knew and the only way I knew they appreciated my musical talent was they listened quietly, but intently whenever my mother prevailed on me to perform for their benefit. So on my tenth birthday they gave me something that indirectly affirmed their faith in my musicality, a black collapsible music stand.

Nowadays I prefer experiences to material objects. I'm hosting a cocktail party at my place this year, last year I got my first tattoo, the year before that I think I did dinner at the Cyclops, which is a long-time favorite. I've invited nearly everyone I know to the party and I don't know how I'm going to fit them all in my dinky little apartment. There will be a two hour prefunction for my sober friends and then at about four I'm going to start serving drinks. It should be interesting and fun. With any luck I won't piss off the neighbors with all the noise.