Calvin: I'm a genius, but I'm a misunderstood genius.
Hobbes: What's misunderstood about you?
Calvin: Nobody thinks I'm a genius.
The real fun of living wisely is that you get to be smug about it.
Why waste time learning, when ignorance is instantaneous?
As a math atheist, I should be excused from this.
YAAH! DEATH TO OATMEAL!
Miss Wormwood: What state do you live in?
Calvin: Denial.
Miss Wormwood: I don't suppose I can argue with that...
Weekends don't count unless you spend them doing something completely pointless.
Susie: You'd get a good grade without doing any work.
Calvin: So?
Susie: It's wrong to get rewards you haven't earned.
Calvin: I've never heard of anyone who couldn't live with that.
"MOM, CAN I SET FIRE TO MY BED MATTRESS?"
"No, Calvin."
"CAN I RIDE MY TRICYCLE ON THE ROOF?"
"No, Calvin."
"Then can I have a cookie?"
"No, Calvin."
("She's on to me.")
If you do the job badly enough, sometimes you don't get asked to do it again.
Calvin: Mom, when are you going shopping next?
Mom: I don't know. Why?
Calvin: We seem to be out of gun powder.
(Calvin his room): Sheesh! I didn't even do it yet!
Calvin:What assurance do I have that your parenting isn't screwing me up?
Did you ever think the person in the puddle is real and you are just a reflection of HIM?
Can I look at your wallot for a few minutes?
I wonder if I can grow fangs when my baby teeth fall out.
Hobbes:You should be more alert! You wouldn't last two seconds in the jungle.
Calvin:That's why I live HERE you DOLT!
Hobbes:We tigers just live for that!
Calvin:Not for long you won't!
Calvin: It's A magical world, Hobbes ol' Buddie! Lets go exploring!
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