Hachi and Yahiko were hauling the bags of groceries home while basking in the afternoon sunshine. “Ch! When’s all this snow gonna melt though?” Yahiko complained, kicking at the white powder, “It’s so cold, my sandles are frozen!”
”And I slipped on ice three times this week,” Hachi muttered, “I really hate this season if you ask me. I can’t wait till spring begins, don’t you? And why in the hell did Kenshin send us to do his chores?!”
Yahiko gagged, “Those two are probably doing it again. I swear they’d be able to melt all the snow here! (Kenshin, what in the hell is wrong with you?!)” There was a long pause, both of them picturing a not-so pretty scene. “Oi, Hachi,” he suddenly said, “What was it like growing up with Kaoru?”
The cop chuckled to himself, “It was fun for me. I was actually really mean to her though. She was kind of like my caddy; I could get her to do errands for me and anything I wanted done.”
”Heh, honto?? That’s funny! How in the world did you do that?”
”Well, I used to tell her that I’d make Keisuke leave if she didn’t. The girl was pretty gullible and believed me every time… she was always afraid of being separated from him. And then…” Hachi’s eyes moved up to the blue sky, his grin fading into the clouds, “When he gone for real, I couldn’t do anything for her. She cried and cried for days…”
Yahiko rubbed his chin thoughtfully, “That does sound like the old Kaoru. Heh, she cried like a baby when Kenshin left her for Kyoto back in the beginning. I’m sure if he did the same thing today, it’ll be a repeat of history.” Not liking the seriousness the conversation had turned into, he elbowed Hachi and laughed, “I’m always tellin’ her – if she doesn’t do something about that ugly face of hers, Kenshin’ll leave her for another woman! Ahahahah!”
Hachi nodded, ”Honto na! Kaoru-chan just doesn’t listen, but one of these days…!” The two of them just laughed again, putting out of mind the cold and all the snow around them.
* * *
Kenshin and Kaoru were sitting inside, leaning together and reading the journal. But Kenshin was greatly distracted. “Oro,” he uttered, nuzzling with the side of her face, “Let’s stop now…”
”You can stop,” she uttered, her eyes still concentrating on the page, “I think just a bit more for me.”
”Dakara…” he muttered. Blinking he moved away from her, removing the support she was leaning on. As she regained balance, she stared up at him, “I’m going to get prepared in the kitchen so that when the guys come back I can make lunch de gozaru yo.”
“Sou ka,” she replied, turning back to the journal. After a moment, she turned back to him, wondering why he hadn’t moved and was just standing there, “Hai?”
”B-bezuni de gozaru. Maa…” he uttered, turning for the door.
“Kenshin,” she said, closing the book and walking over him. She turned him around and embraced him, stroking his face, “Arigatou… for reading with me. Aishiteru.”
He stood, very tense and very restraint, fighting off the numerous impulses surging through him, “Lunch… think about lunch…” he told himself, “Yahiko and Hachi-dono will be back very soon…dame de gozaru…” Kaoru giggled into his shoulder as he tried to break away, “Suman, Kaoru – I better go…”
In his struggles, a piece of paper dropped from his gi and fluttered onto the floor. Kaoru went over and knelt down to pick it up for him. “Nee, you dropped this… oh!” She saw the name written signed on it and immediately stopped.
”Kaoru?” But she didn’t hear him, she was too busy reading. His eyes widened, ‘Shimatta! The letter!’
An apparent upset look on her face, she gripped the paper in a shaking hand. “How could you keep this from me?” she asked, looking over to him, “Kenshin, doushite?”
He took a step forward, reaching his hand out to her, “I was hoping to settle this without much commotion. Kaoru, I did what I thought was best for you…”
She crumpled the paper and dropped it on the ground, staring him in the eye. “What’s best for me?” she repeated, “How can you possibly know what’s best for me! I don’t need you or Yashiitomo making decisions regarding my life! You had no right, Kenshin!!”
“What are you talking about?” he blurted out, not sure why he had to come with an answer. He grabbed her arm and pulled her over so he didn’t have to yell, but still finding himself doing so, “I had every right! Kaoru, you’re my wife – I’m not going to let these bastards come after you again!”
”Why do they have to come after me?! Where are they?! I’ll go and settle this myself right now! I don’t need you or anybody’s help!”
”This is exactly how I knew you’d react! Kaoru, why don’t you ever listen to me! It’s as if you actually ‘want’ to be killed sometimes!! You can’t do this alone!!” he snapped, while losing grip of her.
“Sure I can…” she said quietly to the floor. She had torn herself away and moved to a safer distance – strangely his voice had gotten louder than hers. He also realized that he probably had bruised her arm by the way he holding her. It looked as though he had only made her more upset.
“Kaoru, I only meant to…”
She shook her head fiercely, “Iya! It doesn’t matter what you meant! Just leave me alone!”
“Kaoru!” Kenshin cried, but she turned away from him and faced the other direction. He could tell she was crying, already her shoulders were shaking and sobs could be evident. “S…Suman.” he said softly, then turned and walked out the room.
* * *
Outside, Yahiko and Hachi were just arriving. They saw Kenshin come outside, his face very troubled. “Oi! Ya got some?” Hachi questioned, “That bad, huh?”
Kenshin just clobbered him with the sakabatou and grabbed the groceries from him, turning for the kitchen. “Kenshin, what’s wrong?” Yahiko asked, going to follow him.
“Kaoru and I had a fight de gozaru yo. She’s really angry with me. You see, she found out…”
”I knew it!!” Megumi suddenly appeared with Sanosuke right behind her, “You WERE hiding something! Ken-san, I was right!! So what were you hiding!?”
Sanosuke stomped his food, “Chikuso! Who cares what it is! I wanna eat! What are ya gonna make for lunch?! Oiiii Kenshin! Hurry it up!!!” Megumi smacked him aside, sending him crashing into the gate. “TEME!!!”
She simply tapped Kenshin on the forehead, “So, what was it? Were you having an affair? Hmmm????”
”CHIGAO DE GOZARU!!” he exclaimed, his voice somewhat scary. Megumi quickly rushed over to Sanosuke for protection. Kenshin got a hold of himself and turned to Hachi, “She found out about Yashiitomo.”
”Eeeh?!” Yahiko, Megumi, and Sanosuke exclaimed, all shocked to hear that name again, “When?! How?!”
Kenshin just turned for the kitchen again, “I’m going to make lunch…” Everyone face-faulted into the ground by his carelessness not treating the matter seriously with them. He ignored them and focused on the room where Kaoru was, ‘We’d never argued like that before. Both of us were in the wrong, but those words you said: ‘you had no right’ – ‘I don’t need you’… did you really mean it?’
* * *
I met Shizuka shortly after joining the dojo. She was Kaoru’s babysitter when she was little and now was her guide to learning etiquette and proper feminine education. Personally, I didn’t think Kaoru-chan needed it. Wasn’t she fine the way she is? No one thought so. After a while, I found out through Shizuka’s brother, Kuma, that she had a crush on me. What a shock! I laughed about it for days. But it was true. And one day…
”Ano…”
”Hm?” Keisuke turned around. He had been heading home after a late practice and was very tired and hungry. The sun was setting and it would be getting dark soon. He didn’t feel like talking to anyone at the time – he just wanted to get home. “Nan de?”
Shizuka went pale, fidgeting in front of him, “Watashi… Watashi…”
”NAN DE?” he asked impatiently, “Just say it already so I can get going!”
”How dare you!” she snapped, “I’m trying to make a love confession to you and you’re absolutely ruining the mood!”
”Well, I didn’t ask you to make such a confession to me! You’re wasting your time, you know!”
”I am, am I? Well, forget about it then!!”
The two parted and went their separated ways. After going on for a while, Keisuke sighed and turned around, “OI!!!” he yelled after her.
“Nani?” she uttered, then stopped realizing there was no way he could hear her, “NANI?!” she yelled, “What is it now?!” This time, she could hear him, “SPEAK UP!” He said it again, but not highering his voice, “KEISUKE, YOU JERK! STOP TOYING WITH ME!!” she snapped, running towards him.
“Anata ga suki desu.” he whispered as she stopped in front of him. He then smiled down at her. “Did I waste enough time?” Shizuka turned red and closed her eyes, smiling and leaning her face into his shoulder. “Shizuka…”
As a couple, Shizuka and I had many difficulties. There wasn’t a day in the week, we didn’t argue and break up. She was so opinionated and so self-righteous at times… I couldn’t stand her when she was like that. It’s not that we didn’t have good times – we had plenty, it’s just the bad times always seem to stand out the most.
”Yasuko!” Keisuke growled, punching a tree, “What a headache I have! I need to break something!” Kuma and Hachi quickly backed away from him, nervously sweating out of fear. He went towards them, only sit down and sip his tea, “What’s the report, Kuma?”
”Eto, Onee-san still says you’re the one who should apologize because you’re the one started the fight.”
”I’m the one?!” he exclaimed, then dropping his head, “Yeah, but… there’s no way in hell I’m going to apologize!”
His friends both sighed at him. Too many times they have seen this scene. Hachi shrugged, “It’s nothing new. I’m sure it’ll end like it always does… something will happen and one of you will admit your wrong.”
”Minna!” Kaoru chimed, walking over. She had been in the clinic for a check-up and saw that these three hanging out by the house, “What’s going on?”
Before Hachi could go into the details, Keisuke pulled the girl over by the wrists, “What’s this?!” he exclaimed, looking at her bandages hands, “Kaoru-chan, what did you do to yourself?! Was it someone else?!! What in the hell happened?!”
”C-Calm down!” she cried, “It doesn’t hurt one bit. Don’t get carried away over nothing.” He just eyed her suspiciously. However his chance to interrogate left as Kaoru pried away and waved over to someone, “Shizuka-san!”
She bowed her head, “Konichiwa! I’ve brought some snacks.” She handed the box of desserts to Kuma and Hachi who started eating at once. She then turned to the stunned Keisuke and smiled. “Gomendesai about earlier.”
”Eh? Thought you were mad and didn’t want to talk to me…” he uttered, then spotted the bouquet of flowers in her hand, “Did you get those today?”
”Hai! They’re so lovely! I can’t believe you found such beautiful flowers at this time of the year… Arigatou Keisuke!” she said, going to hug him. Keisuke stared down at the bouquet; the thorns had been scraped off the stems. He then looked over to his friends who were fighting over the pastries.
“Neee! Hachi, that was mine!! MOU!!!”
* * *
Kenshin sat in his bath, staring into the steam. It was dark already outside and everyone else had gone home a long time ago. Kaoru still was avoiding him, even during lunch and dinner, so he got a bit bored and decided to wash up, then go to sleep. But a candlelit bath was no fun by himself. ‘Kaoru, I shouldn’t have lied to you.’ he scolded himself, ‘I’ve only made things worse.’
Tired of lingering in his thoughts, as well as the luke warm water, he emerged and got his robe. Walking back to the house, he stopped in front of their room, seeing the single light on, knowing she was still awake and probably still angry. ‘Should I dare?’ he asked himself, ‘Iya, it’s too late for more arguing. Better go stay in another room for the night…’
Before he could turn the other way, the door had slid open. “Kenshin,” Kaoru looked as though she was in the middle of braiding her hair, but as she realized his presence at the door, she had frantically stopped everything and rushed over to make sure he didn’t go. “Please, don’t go away tonight. Stay here.”
”Demo, Kaoru…” he started, but realized that she had already forgiven him for the error of his ways. Still there was a look of guilt in her face, and surely something that she wanted to tell him. Not wanting to leave either, nor deny her chance to speak, Kenshin followed her into their dimly lit room, closing the door behind him, “You were right – I was unfair to you by hiding the truth. I’m terribly sorry.”
”Iya, you had your reasons. I’m the one who should apologize. I shouldn’t have gotten angry with you. Kenshin, Gomen.” she uttered, taking his hand, “It’s just… everyone, including myself, still fail to recognize myself as the wife of Himura Kenshin.”
There was long pause.“…Kaoru?” he asked, worriedly staring down at her. Her warm fingers were caressing his and he knew she was trying to let him know she had more to say, only she couldn’t find the words. “Daijoubu,” he whispered, “It doesn’t matter de gozaru. Dakara… Kaoru is Kaoru. No one can change that de gozaru yo.”
“Eh?” she uttered, lifting her eyes to his face. “Demo… watashi…” He shook his head silently, leaning over and kissing her on the forehead, “Kenshin…?”
”Despite everything,” he murmured, brushing his lips against her skin while lifting their linked hands to his chest, “The Kaoru I have here now with me - she does belong to me… as much as I belong to her.” His free arm wrapped around her waist and pulled her to him, so he could look directly into her blue eyes, “Don’t you feel… every heart beat… it’s the same for us. We’re already one person.”
She closed her eyes, smiling slightly as she leaned her head onto his shoulder, kissing his hand covering hers. “I hear it, Kenshin…” she uttered, “One heartbeat… coming from the both of us.”
“Do you understand now? Why I kept it from you?” he asked, “I didn’t want you to do this on your own. I didn’t want to be left behind…”
”Kenshin…” In her mind, she remembered the events of the year before. Her personal struggle with death and the past, Kenshin learned of the truth only too late. At that time, she had turned her back on the ones she loved and insisted on putting the entire task on herself. How painful it was for her to face it alone – the dark path she walked, the end so uncertain. But she had to – it was her battle and her own life.
“This time is different.” he told her, “This time, I won’t let you face this alone. Never again, Kaoru, will you take it upon yourself to wage your life. And I won’t make such a bet either de gozaru yo. Datte you don’t have to worry about losing your life or me losing mine. As long as we’re together…”
”Wakarimashita.” she replied, wanting to laugh at herself for how she had been behaving, “Being married to someone means sharing the same burdens and joys… I kept thinking of ways to keep it to myself and not worry you, but in the end, you somehow knew what I was feeling…”
”Of course I did.” he assured her as she lead him backwards towards the futon, “You don’t have to say a word. I know – I know you already inside and out.”
“Sou ka…” she uttered, as he lowered her down and watched her from under his bangs, the need to get closer intensifying by the second. “Aishiteru,” she whispered, reaching for him.
“Aishiteru,” he replied, going to meet her, “Himura Kaoru.”