^___^ thanks to emily for a wonderful story plot! i just corrupted it a bit more. but doesn't it remind you of one of the gag filler episodes? anways, enjoy the fic! jill
"Damn that Busu!"
A frustrated Yahiko stalked out of the dojo after cleaning the floor a hundred times. 'Always ordering me around. I am not a maid you know!! I am a swordsman!!'
It was then a brilliant idea popped in his head. 'Aha! I'll show kono Busu once and for all! Mwhahahahah!!'
Title screen (Yahiko looking incredibly evil!)
Just another day at Kamiya dojo. Kenshin washed the laundry, while Kaoru hit away with her shinai, a splash of sweat shimmering the sunshine. "Wow... what a workout! I think I'll practice with Yahiko for a bit..."
"Demo, Kaoru-dono... you'll tire yourself out. How about a bath de gozaru? Sessha can start one up for you..."
All of a sudden, Yahiko came running onto the scene. "HEEEY!" he exclaimed, shoving Kenshin into his laundry basin, "I'll do it! I'll do it!!"
"Y-Yahiko??" Kaoru gasped, a little surprised at his enthusiasm. (Meanwhile, Kenshin was drowning) "Mou, what are you up to now??"
"What do you mean?!" he sneered, "I'm just trying be nice, GEEZ! What's yer problem?!!"
"Well, fine! Make me a bath then!!" Kaoru ordered.
"FINE!! I WILL!!"
As Yahiko rushed off, Kaoru turned for her room. Kenshin finally came up for air. Realizing that everyone was gone, he just scratched his head in confusion. "Oro?"
After finishing preparations, Yahiko left the bathhouse with horns popping out of his head. 'Mwahahaha!!! You're in for it now, Busu!!'
He then turned for the house, calling out, "OH KAO-RU~! Bath's ready!!"
"Yoshi!!" she chimed, running over. She paused at the door and eyed his suspiciously. "Nee... you didn't break another one of vases did you?? Hm??"
"What the heck you talking about?!" he sighed, "Just go and use the bath before the water's cold! And there's other people around here who gotta use the bath too, y'know!"
"Yare yare... don't have to be so pushy!" Kaoru replied, walking right. She then peered back out, "Ano... before I forget to say... uh... Arigatou, Yahiko."
With that, she went in and closed the door. Yahiko felt a little bit guilty. But only a 'little bit'. "Hehehehehh!!" he chuckled lowly as he wandered away from the bathhouse, "It's only a matter of time..."
"A matter of time for what??" Kenshin asked, suddenly at his elbow.
Surprised Yahiko grabbed his chest and fell over on the ground. "K-Kenshin!! Don't do that to people!!"
"It was very nice of you to make a bath for Kaoru-dono. Demo, you didn't have to, Sessha would have done so gladly."
Yahiko grimaced. 'Well, not everyone is like you, Kenshin - some goody-goody servant boy!!'
Kenshin blinked. "Shikashi, with all this warm weather and after doing all these chores, Sessha feels like taking a bath too. Sessha will get ready de gozaru!" he chimed, walking off.
Yahiko then stared towards the bathhouse, 'Sure is taking her a while...'
Meanwhile, Kaoru was taking her time. 'What's with that Yahiko today... hmm... if he didn't break a vase, then what?? Maybe he needs to borrow money... aa!! Maybe he has a date with Tsubame-chan! Fufufufu!! I can tease him about it!'
Putting aside her bandages, she folded her kimono and put it on the shelf. Humming to herself, she opened the door to where the bath was. After dumping a bucket of water on herself, she tiptoed to the bath, shivering.
'Yoshi! Time for some relaxa...'
She was cut off short, coming face to face with a beady-eyed beast of evil. There was a slight delay in her scream that shook the bathhouse and made Yahiko grin with success.
"KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!"
Kenshin, his sharp senses telling him that Kaoru was in trouble came bolting out the house. Stopping outside the bathhouse, he didn't know what to do. 'Oro!! Last time I ran in there, she had me tied and gagged and thrown in the woodshed! Demo! She must be in some sort of danger!!'
Luckily for him, Kaoru came running outside in a towel. "KENSHIN! SAVE ME! It's horrible!!" she cried tearfully, running into his arms.
Kenshin turned bright red. "O...ro..." Slowly he lifted his hands to her bare shoulders that were still wet. "Eto, what exactly is wrong, Kaoru-dono??"
She just started sobbing into his gi. "I'm never going back into the bath again! It's the creepiest place I've ever been to!!"
He put on a humored smiled. "Creepy de gozaru? Don't be silly, Kaoru-dono. You have to go into the bath from time to time. After all, it wouldn't be healthy if you didn't stay clean."
"Demo!! It's nasty! And scary!! I don't wanna go by myself!!"
Kenshin dropped his head. He didn't really what to do now. And he couldn't believe that Kaoru was still holding on to him in nothing but a towel. "Kaoru-dono!! Yamero!! You've got to put on something decent!!" he cried.
"OH!!" Kaoru cried, her eyes widening. She had been on exhibition during this entire time. She reached for the nearest shinai and whapped Kenshin with all her might, "Kenshin no baka! Why didn't you say anything earlier?!"
"ORORORO...." he uttered.
Before Kenshin could faint, Yahiko stepped on him, heading for the bathhouse. "Cheh, you're just a big baby, Kaoru! There's nothing scary in the bath! Hehehe!!"
Kaoru waved her fists at him and yelled, "MOU!! That's what you think! Don't say I didn't warn you!! And I NEVER EVER going in the bath again!!"
Kenshin was still lying on the ground. "Sessha's going to skip the bath and go straight to sleep... oro..."
* * *
Later that day, Sanosuke came over for dinner. He was very amused by the story of the earlier events. "What's this?? Jou-chan's given up bathing? Eheheh! I feel bad for you guys!"
Kaoru clobbered him on the head. "Baka!! I'm just not going to use that bathhouse over there! It's haunted! There's some sort of awful beast!"
"Then where are you gonna wash?? Hey, I know! Let's go skinny-dipping in the river tonight!"
Kenshin choked on his fish. "Oro!! Sano!!!"
"Nan de? You can come too, if you want, pal!" his friend chimed, gnawing on a fish bone.
Kaoru crossed her arms. "Or you two can go together! I'm not going swimming in any river in the Tokyo vicinity. It's gross! I mean, people dump their sewage in there!"
Yahiko grinned into his tea, "Y'know, Kaoru, if there really is some monster in the bathhouse, don't you think it could come out at night??"
Kaoru's eyes went big and she latched onto Kenshin's arm. "H-Honto??! Jaa... so he could come into our rooms when we're asleep..."
"Yup..." he uttered, becoming creative as he chewed a bit on his chopsticks, "And if you leave your stomach exposed... he can crawl into your belly button and possess you..."
"Kyaaa!" she gasped, now climbing onto Kenshin's lap, "No! No!! No!!! I don't want that to happen!! Kenshin, save me!!"
Kenshin was dumbstruck. "Oro..." he uttered falling backwards. Sanosuke happily snatched his food and ate it.
Yahiko watched Kaoru frantically try to wake him, laughter in his head. 'Everything is going as planned! Mwhahahahaha!!!' Just then, Sanosuke snatched his food too. "OI!!"
* * *
In the middle of the night, Kenshin heard someone at his door. "Hmm??" he murmured, sleepily getting out of bed. "Who's there?" he asked, sliding the door open.
Kaoru leaped at him, tearfully clinging onto his robe. "Kenshin! I can't sleep! I'm too scared!!"
The rurouni blushed and tried to keep the situation in control, "Kaoru-dono, don't worry. None of that stuff is true. It's just a bunch of superstition. Yahiko is just trying to scare you."
"Demo..."
He smiled down at her. "Tell you what, Sessha will check it out and show you that there really isn't anything there. Then, Kaoru-dono can go back to sleep without fearing anything."
"H-Hai... arigatou, Kenshin!"
Happy that he had calmed her down for the meantime, he headed for the bathhouse. Stopping at the door, he turned back to see that Kaoru had taken some cover. Chuckling to himself, he slid the door open and walked in.
Kaoru watched from behind a barrel. 'Kenshin...' After a few seconds, the silence ended and there was a scramble, tons of things dropping and breaking.
"ORORORORORORO!!!" Kenshin screamed, running outside, his clothes slightly thorn. "Kaoru-dono!! HELP!! It's so horrible!! AAAAAHHHH!" he cried, jumping into her arms.
"See!! I told you but you wouldn't listen!!" she said, still carrying him. After a pause, she dropped him onto the ground, "What are we going to do, Kenshin?! There's that scary thing in there!! And I know it's going to come out and kill us all!!"
On the ground, Kenshin was soaking in shame for being a coward. He finally lifted his head. "Sessha will have to go in there and capture it! Demo..." He latched onto her leg, shaking, "Sessha is too scared!!"
"Maybe it's better if we battle it when there's sunlight... I mean, it seems scarier at night." Kaoru uttered, as she started to back away towards the house, dragging along the rurouni on her leg.
And so, the two of them went into Kaoru's room and pushed all of the furniture in front of the doors. Kaoru climbed into her futon and pulled the blankets over her head, while Kenshin settled in the corner, still shaking with fear.
"D-don't worry, Kaoru-dono! Sessha... Sessha will protect you from that... that monster!!"
"A-Arigatou!!" said the trembling mound. "O-Oyasumi!"
"Aa! O-oyasumi... d-de goza...ru...!"
* * *
The next morning, Sanosuke came over with a fish. He was surprised to find Kenshin sleeping in Kaoru's room. "Heheheh! So, something went on last night? Hm??"
"Sano!" Kenshin cried, getting up from his spot against the wall. He ran over and covering Sanosuke's mouth. Kaoru was still asleep and he didn't want him to wake her up. "(It's not what you think. We both were too scared to sleep because of the scary thing in the bathhouse!)"
"Oh really? Cheh, you mean to tell me that even the great Battousai is scared??" Sanosuke laughed, "I want to see what's so scary!"
"Go ahead, but Sessha's warning you..."
Sanosuke grinned and walked out the door. Meanwhile, Kaoru was stirring. "Kenshin... what's going on? Why is there a big red snapper on my floor?? Are we going to use that as bait to catch that monster??"
"Oh!" Kenshin held up the fish, "Iya, Sano's going to investigate the matter first."
She walked over to him, "Well, maybe he'll be brave enough to handle it."
Sanosuke had entered the bathhouse and took a look around. 'There's no monster here! Kenshin and Jou-chan are just being wimps. I mean, they're crying over nothing!!"
Just then, he caught view of the beady eyes and the furriness. For a moment, he was frozen and couldn't move, he was so afraid. And then, without warning...
"UWAAAHHH! HELP!! IT ATTACKED ME!!" he screamed, things crashing all over the place, "AAAAAA!!!!"
Kaoru grabbed onto Kenshin, hiding her face into his shoulder while he looked on at the noisy bathhouse, the shrieks continuing. "Poor Sano..."
Suddenly, he came outside, cover with some yellow stuff. "Kenshin! Jou-chan! Help!!"
They both took a step away. A terrible odor was coming from him. "I can't breathe! It's so gross!" Kaoru gasped, as Kenshin steered her away from danger, "It's like poison!!"
"Kaoru-dono, don't breath the air!! Sessha thinks that Sano's been possessed by the creature in the bathhouse... Puwaah, that smells!!"
"Oi oi! What are you talking about?!! It's me!! You've got to help!" Sanosuke said, still trying to get close to them.
But Kenshin started waving his sakabatou at him. "Stay back, Sano! Don't make Sessha hurt you!!"
* * *
The standoff continued for another hour. And yet, the stench didn't go away. Sanosuke, oblivious to how badly he smelled, didn't know why they kept their distance. "Oi!! What's yer problem?!"
Kenshin and Kaoru just stared at him, plugging their noses. Just then, Yahiko came out of his room, yawning. "What's going on... hey, what's that smell??" he asked.
They pointed at Sanosuke. "OI!! It ain't me!!" he cried, "It was that monster in the bathhouse! It attacked me with its tail! It's so freaking scary!!"
"Heh, really??"
"Yeah!! Really!!" he replied, grabbing him by the shoulders and shaking him. Yahiko paused to plug his nose. It really was that bad. "You're our only hope Yahiko! You gotta get rid of that creature right now!"
Yahiko smiled slyly, "All right! I supposed I will have to!"
Chuckling, he headed for the bathhouse. Tying a cloth around his nose and mouth, he walked right in. A few minutes passed. "What's happened to him??" Kaoru uttered, "Is he all right??"
"Maybe it ate him!" Sanosuke cried.
Kenshin suggested, "Or attacked him like it did Sano... or he evaporated de gozaru!"
Just then, Yahiko walked out, grinning at them, "Is this cute little critter what you're all so scared of??"
Holding it by the tail, he waved it in front of Kaoru. "Kyaaa!! Yamatte!! Yahiko, stop it!!" she cried, grabbing onto Kenshin.
"Saa, it's just a skunk!" he snapped, "Don't be such a baby, Busu!"
Sanosuke grimaced. "Yeah, but I smell like baby with a dirty diaper."
"Looks like I got the better of you all!" Yahiko laughed, still holding the animal, "Hahahaha!! Because I did this brave act, you all owe me big time! Let's say... a couple hours of servitude? That's right, Kaoru - for once, you're going to be the maid!!"
"Eto... Yahiko..." Kenshin stammered, trying to get his attention.
"Hah? What is it?" the boy asked. All of a sudden, the skunk grinned and showered the Kenshin-gumi with his wonderful perfume. "WAAAAAAAAAH!!!"
As everyone fell over onto the ground, reeking with stench, the skunk made his escape, back into the forest. Kenshin let out a final 'Oro' before fainting.
FIN