Classic Special # 2.5

“AOSHI-SAMA!!!” Misao was making another trip around the room and still no sign of him, “Aoshi-sama, doko?? How can I kiss you if I can’t find you… where in this manly party are you?!” She then into a teary face, “Aoshi-samaa~ show yourself, onegai~!!”

An evil laughter caught her off guard, “OHOHOHOHO!!!” The fox was at her elbow, her hand up to her mouth as she grinned slyly down at her, “Ara, ano weasel-girl has lost track of her Shinomori Aoshi. Omoshiroi desu wa… ohohohoho!!”

”Megumi-saan!” Misao cried, grabbing her by the wrist and pleading, “Have you seen my Aoshi-sama?!”

”OHOHOHO! Of course I have!” she chimed, her grin widening. “Demo ne, I have other plans.” She then reached into her sleeve and took out a bottle, “Here’s my special mushroom mix. When I find him – I’ll make him drink and do whatever I like to him… ohohohoho!!!!”

”EVIL!!!” Misao screamed, “Aoshi-sama is MINE!!!!” Megumi just laughed some more and started to walk out the room. “MATTE, BITCH!!” the wildcat hollered, taking out her ninja knives and hurling them after the fox bitch, “KANSATSU TOBI KUNAI!!!”

But then Kenshin had walked into range and was impeded with the on-coming attack, “ORORORO~!” he squeaked, pinned to the wall by his clothes. One of them was right next to his head, drawing blood, “Oro…”

”Sumanu, Himura!” Misao cried, running over, “Demo – you were the one who walked in the way. Now I didn’t get that fox bitch wherever she went. Tonikaku, have you seen my Aoshi-sama?? NE?? NE??”

Kenshin was recently regaining consciousness. “Eto… Aoshi… dare de gozaru ka…”

”BAKA!!” she yelled, punching him in the head before running off elsewhere in the room, calling, “Aoshi-sama! AOSHI-SAMAAA!!!!”

Kenshin dropped his head again, ‘Oro… what a painful evening… demo, where did Kaoru go??’ He lifted his head to see Sanosuke releasing him off the wall, “Arigatou de gozaru.”

“Ya… daga… you got to come see this, Kenshin.” his friend said, leading him outside.

There was crowd of Sanosuke’s neighbors cheering around someone. Kenshin finally got to see what was going on. “ORO?! KAORU-DONO!?”

Kaoru was chugging bottle after bottle, Sanosuke’s neighbors cheering her on, “GO GO GO!!!” One of them said, “She’s gonna set a record!!” Another said, “Damn, this girl can drink!!”

“DAME DE GOZARU!!” Kenshin cried, running over and prying the bottle from her hands, “You’ll get drunk de gozaru!” But it was a little late for that. Already, Kaoru had a dazed look and a silly smile on her face, sake on the breath. She teetered a bit before falling onto her face. “KAORU-DONO!?”

Just then, the gate opened. A katana police officer and an elegant-looking woman walked in. “Hm… Battousai, I see this is the type of party you’re having.” Saitou muttered, looking at the drunken minor lying on her face, “If it gets out of hand, I’ll have to take you all in.”

”Saitou…” Kenshin hissed, “Not only are you late – but you dare threaten sessha?? Sessha rather challenge you to battle and settle this de gozaru!!”

Saitou just laughed, his arm around his wife, “Promised the missus to leave the sword at home. You can battle with yourself, Battousai. Have fun!”

”TEME!!” he yelled after him as they walked into the party. Meanwhile, the girl was coming to. “Ya, Kaoru-dono!! Daijoubu de gozaru ka??”

”Kenshin!” she purred, climbing on him, sliding her arms around his neck, hot breath in his ear, “Watashi… anata… maybe just a little… nee??”

An alarm went off in Kenshin. Eyes widen, he couldn’t help but feel a little turned on… okay, A LOT turned on. “ORO!” he squeaked, leaping up on his feet, dropping her on the ground. “Aa, aa… Sessha has to go!! J-jaaa!!” he blurted out, trying to run away.

Kaoru threw herself onto his back, her kimono sliding a bit down at the shoulder, “Demo… watashi…” she uttered again in his ear, “I want you to, Kenshin…”

”ORO!! ORO!!!” he cried, quickly prying her off, “Sessha has to… to … use the restroom de gozaru!!!” He then sped away, locking himself in the bathroom.

Kaoru became teary eyed. “Mou… what did I do wrong now *hic!” She then realized that now the ruffian tenants were surrounding her, making rude noises. “MOU! I’M IN A FOUL MOOD!!!” she growled, proceeding to beat the crap out of them.

“Oh damn!” Sanosuke cried, looking at his unconscious neighbors. He then saw Kaoru approaching the party, “M-matte!! J-Jou-chaan!?” He stopped to hear more screams and crashing indoors. Apparently, Kaoru was taking out her frustrations on unsuspecting party guests. “Uh oh… we’re in trouble now! Where is that Kenshin, anyhow?!”

Tae walked over, her face all red, “Aaan… Sano-han…”

“Nan de?”

There was a pause. Tae then grabbed him by the wrist and started to drag him off. “Come see this nee…” She led him to the dojo where they could hear some strange noises. “Honto… I don’t know what to do about this…”

Sanosuke peered inside, “EH?!” He saw a half-dressed Oniwabanshuu Okashira – a fox dangling on him, her tongue in his ear. At this sight, he was instantly enraged, “TEME FOX!!!”

Apparently, Megumi knew exactly where Aoshi was and abducted him – using her special mushroom mix. Now she was waiting to be caught by that wildcat girl. But she got a different audience. “Maa, still very interesting... OHOHOHOHO!!!”

Sanosuke was gonna storm in there, but Tae held him back, “We’ve a got a larger problem…” They could hear Ayame and Suzume crying. Aoshi had been in the middle of making origami before he was attacked. “Somehow we’ve got to get Aoshi-han back into the party before the girls become reckless.”

”Hai hai… I’ll deal with that fox later… in the meantime… IKUZE!” he chimed, charging into the dojo. He pried the drugged Aoshi out of Megumi’s hands and carried him out back towards the non-manly party.

“NEE!” Megumi yelled after him angrily, “I FOUND HIM! He’s MINE now! Give him back, Tori Atama!!!” But then her eye caught a new target. “Ohohoho!!!!”

* * *
Sanosuke planted the stoned ninja back on the tatami mat and placed more origami in his hands. Instantly the girls stopped crying and scurried to him, watching him – even though all he did was sit there stoned. But being the Oniiwabanshuu okashira – he would be back to normal… soon.

“Aa, now where was I…” Aoshi uttered, coming to. His hands moving at godly sped, he made a swan out of the paper. The girls starting chiming happily.

“That’s done with…” Sanosuke chuckled, going for the door – wanting to go yell at the fox. But he stopped to see something disturbing. “JOU-CHAN?!”

The drunken girl had now turned her advances towards the bewildered old man, Genzai-sensei. “Demo! *hic! I jus wanted a kiss from him… what did I do wrong??” she whimpered, reaching for him.

“Eto… K-Kaoru-chan! Please calm down…” he gasped, backing away, “K-Kowai!”

Sanosuke quickly reprimanded her, dragging her outside by the ponytail. He then, poured a bucket of water on her. She sat, desolate and shivering. “Baka! What’s gotten into you, Jou-chan?!”

She sniffed, “Datte! Kenshin doesn’t want to…” Lifting her tearful face, she then heard the rurouni’s cry. Ditching Sanosuke, she rushed over to the dojo where the screams were heard. “EH!?” she exclaimed, stopping in the doorway, “KENSHIN!??”

The fox had him trapped in an arm hold, a big goofy look on his face as she proceeded to throw his clothes around the dojo. “Oro…” he uttered in a daze, swirly eyed.

“KENSHIN NO BAKA!!” Kaoru cried, turning away from the door and running off in tears.

Sanosuke held up his fists, punching the wall, the sound of the impact finally making Megumi stop and Kenshin wake up. “TEME FOX!!!”

Kenshin pried away from her and scurried to safety behind Sanosuke. Panting he slid back into his gi and tightened the knot on his hakama, letting out a sigh of relief… followed by panic. “Kaoru-dono… doko de gozaru ka??”

“How the hell am I suppose to know! You’re the one making out with the fox devil over there!” Sanosuke snapped, “You find her on your own and apologize now!” Kenshin nodded and ran off. He then glared towards Megumi. “What the hell ya doin’, teme fox?!”

She simply smiled. “Samurai men of course… OHOHOHO!!!” Sanosuke just cursed away, unable to stand being in the same room as her. Still her laughter could be heard outside. “OHOHOHOHO~!”

* * *
Back in the manly party, Misao was taking a break from yelling out for her Aoshi-sama. He was nowhere to be seen. “Mou… where did he go?!” she sighed, gulping down some water, “This room is pretty big – but for him to evade me like this… surely he is the greatest ninja! Aa, Aoshi-sama, sugoi!! I’ll find you yet!”

Yahiko squinted at her. “What the hell ya talkin’ about?! Aoshi ain’t here! He left a long time ago *hic!”

She grabbed him by the collar and shook him. “DOKO?! DOKO?! Where is MY AOSHI-SAMAA?!”

“Saw him kissin’ Megumi in the dojo…”

”EEEEH?!?!!?”

Tsubame suddenly appeared, angrily pointing at the young samurai, “Yahiko-kun! How dare you make up things! You've got to be the rudest, insensitive, arrogant person alive!! Atashi… I… I HATE YOU!”

“Then why the hell you here?” he replied, getting up and facing her, “I mean – you say you hate me but you keep popping up here. Why is that…?”

”Dakara…” she stammered, as he neared her. She could smell the sake and sweat within the same space between them. Without warning, he took her in his arms and dipped her, giving her passionate kiss. ‘YAHIKO-KUN!?’

Misao turned away from the spectacle, whimpering, “Mou… not fair! I wanna kiss Aoshi-sama!!” She then ran into Kenshin, “Nee, Himura! You’ve got lipstick on your collar… did you and Kaoru-san finally…?”

”Chigao de gozaru!” Kenshin cried, looking embarrassed as he frantically tried to wipe that smudge of red off, “Demo, have you seen Kaoru-dono anywhere de gozaru??”

”Iie… demo, have you seen Aoshi-sama anywhere??” Before Kenshin could reply, a bottle came flying at him – hitting him in the head. With one last ‘oro’, he fell over, unconscious. “HIMURA?! WHO DID THIS!?!”

Hiko grinned. “Heh, that was fun! Right on the mark – my baka deshii!”

Ochika leaned on his shoulder lovestruck, “Sugoi, Hiko-sama!!”

Saitou walked over and singed his cigarette on Kenshin’s forehead. “Hm… shall we have a little fun with Battousai??” Everyone else in the room agreed – except Misao, who was looking for Aoshi… and Yahiko and Tsubame who were still in the lasting kiss.

* * *
Sanosuke was heading back to the party, when he heard a small noise. He turned for the woodshed and saw Kaoru crying inside, still soaking wet. “Sniff sniff… Kenshin… doushite…? Am I not attractive enough?? *hic! Of course he’ll go for that slut… *hic… I’m so unfortunate!!”

“Jou-chan… uh…” he stammered, not sure what to do. He knew he couldn’t leave her like this. He walked over and sat down next to her, “Quit crying, will ya?”

She punched him aside, “IRESAI! I’m going through hell right now!! I don’t need you to tell me what to do!!!”

Sanosuke rubbed his sore jaw and sat up. Just then, a revelation came to mind - his conscience taking two forms… ‘Good Sano’, a little angel Sanosuke… and ‘Bad Sano’, a little devil Sanosuke.

“Now’s your chance!” Bad Sano said, “Look at how drunk she is!!”

Good Sano interceded, “Yamero! Remember – Kenshin is your best friend. You mustn’t do anything that’ll jeopardize your great trust in one another.”

”Forgit that bastard!!! Go get some!!” Of course, Bad Sano won.

Sanosuke rubbed his chin, ‘Well… Jou-chan is kinda cute… especially with the drenched kimono look. Heh, she looks cold… I bet she needs to warm up. Heheh, and Kenshin is no where to be seen… shikushi…’

“Eh?” Kaoru uttered as Sanosuke came back towards her, taking off his shirt and putting it on her shoulders, “Sano…suke…?”

He grinned. “Daijoube, Jou-chan, I’ll make you feel better…”

* * *
Kenshin’s eyes flickered open. He had strange feeling… that Kaoru was in danger. He then realized that he was wearing a geisha outfit, his hair tied back tightly and face painted. “ORO!”

The room full of swordsmen and fighters were all laughing. “Lookin’ hot, Battousai!” Saitou chimed, puffing away at his cigarettes, “The world’s strongest indeed!”

“TEME!!!!!”

Hiko dropped his head and sighed, “What a disgrace to Hiten Mitsurugi…”

Kenshin quickly shook his hair into place and wiped his face. As for the girly kimono he was wearing, he grabbed his own clothes and ran out to change. ‘Sessha will get them back later… demo, there’s something wrong with Kaoru… I feel it…’

He paused to see Tsubame slapping Yahiko across the face, “I thought I was the only one!! Who is this flying Marino circus girl?!!?” She burst into tears and ran away.

“Wats her problem?!” he muttered, then passing out from the amount of sake he drank.

Kenshin shook his head at the boy and proceeded to drag him towards his room. But then he stopped… to hear noises coming from Kaoru’s room.

“Aa! Dame yo! That’s my favorite kimono!!”

”Honto? Well then…” There was the sound of fabric ripping. Then giggling.

“Baka – now it’s your turn!” More ripping.

“OI!! These are my special clothes!! They’re one of a kind!!!” A pause. “What are you thinking??”

”I was thinking… *hic… how nice it would be… *hic… to have a kiss…”

“Heh, is that all you want, Jou-chan? Well, then – first ya gotta do some things for me.”

”What kind of things?”

“Suppose you wouldn’t know anyway. For now, just sit there and I’ll do the work.”

“Eh? S-Sanosuke… doko… where are you… aa?! Sanosuke?! Dame!! Aa, that tickles!”

Finally Kenshin couldn’t take it anymore. He burst into the room, anger boiling in him. “SANO!!!!” he growled, sakabatou at hand. Sanosuke dropped the half-dressed Kaoru and gawked at him. Kenshin had bloody murder in his eyes. “TEME!!!”

Sanosuke rubbed his head, putting his hands into the pockets of his shredded pants. “Eheh… Kenshin… I was just trying to get Jou-chan to calm down… I mean, nothing really happened… it’s all harmless play…” But his friend was on the verge of going ‘battou’ on him. “OI! It’s your own fault!! You didn’t kiss her – that’s why she’s like this!! If it wasn’t gonna be me – it would be some other guy trying to take advantage of her!!”

Kenshin simply lost control – beating his friend into the floor with a multitude of swings by his sword. Sanosuke landed painfully on the ground, but still conscious. The yellow-eyed samurai sneered down at him, “I ought to f--king kill you for what you tried to do and the kind of excuses you gave me!”

“Demo… I figured Tae’s reasoning was worth a try… “ he uttered, slowly recovering. He was able to sit up, but when he tried to stand, he collapsed. Kenshin looked like he was ready to go back to the beatings again. He then blurted out, “In fact – this is all Tae’s fault!!”

A slap came to his face. “USOU!!!” Tae yelled. She had been in the room, spying the whole time. “Although I admit to being a peeping-tom, I will not be the cause of this catastrophe! The true culprit behind this is --- the Tokugawa Shogunate!!”

“Eh??” Kenshin and Sanosuke uttered, totally confused.

Tae nodded her head, going to explain, “Because of the corruptness of the Tokugawa Shogunate – the country was ripped apart with war… in which, Ken-han experienced many tragedies and became emotionally disturbed… unable to come to close to other people for fear of hurting them… then came his attraction to Kaoru-chan… demo, even though he feels one way – he cannot act upon it, which brings us to this reaction by Kaoru-chan of pure frustration… driven by Ken-han’s rejection and her extreme intake of alcohol!”

Kenshin noted, “Wouldn’t it be easier just to blame it on the sake de gozaru?”

”Iya! It’s because YOU need psychological help and you’re making Kaoru-chan suffer in the process!”

“Oro… do you know any good shrinks de gozaru?”

”AND YOU!!!” Tae yelled, pointing at Sanosuke, “What’s wrong with you?! Ken-han is your best friend!! Do you know how low and dirty this attempted act was?!”

”If that’s what you thought… why the hell were you spying on us?!” Sanosuke argued, “Why didn’t you say something?!?”

”It’s my hobby.” she replied, “Everyone else’s business is my business… I will be content as long as someone marries Kaoru-chan.”

“You need to get a life!” Sanosuke snapped.

“And you need to pay your tab at the Akebeko!!” she snapped back.

They stopped and stared at each other. Within seconds, they rushed into each other’s arms and started kissing. Kenshin backed away from the spectacle, embarrassed. “Oro, you guys!!” He then peered towards Kaoru. “Eto… daijoubu de gozaru ka??”

She looked tearful. “NO FAIR!!!” she yelled, throwing Kenshin across the room, then running outside crying. “MOU!! KENSHIN NO BAKAA!!!!”

“ORO…”

* * *
Kenshin woke up. It was really late. Already most of the party guests had left… Saitou making sure they were somber enough to know where they were going. “Cheh! Battousai, some party you threw… but I admit you disturbed the peace and you’ve brought reckless and underage drinking to the neighborhood! I ought to throw you in the slammer!”

”Not before I challenge you to a battle de gozaru!!” Kenshin snapped.

But Saitou just laughed, leaving together with his wife. Kenshin frowned. His Shisho had left with a handful of women, going to stay at a hotel. The Oniiwabanshuu had passed out in the dojo. Though Misao hadn’t found her Aoshi-sama, Aoshi had found her and carried her into the house, tucking her into bed. But, without a word, he pressed a kiss gently on her lips and left the room. Megumi was reported to be seen walking home with Genzai and the girls – apparently unable to find ‘that lucky guy’. Tsubame left, wondering where Tae had gone. Tae had disappeared, last seen with Sanosuke… who also had disappeared. And Yahiko had passed out somewhere.

Kenshin stopped at Kaoru’s room, peering inside. She was lying in her futon… muttering in her sleep. “Kenshin… onegai… one kiss…”

He stared towards her, hearing her pleads and sobs. ‘Kaoru…’

“I want… to spend the new year with you … Kenshin…”

Finally, he walked into the room and knelt at her side, leaning down to her tearstained face. ‘Kaoru, I too want to spend the New Year with you… the rest of my life…’ He then covered her lips with his, giving into all that he had been feeling, for this moment alone, set free. ‘Kaoru, if only I could tell you… if only I could have kissed you when you asked… demo… demo…’

He drew away sadly, only to see that now she was peacefully sleeping. His kiss had calmed her dreams… but surely it will not calm her heart or the boiling emotions waiting to burst.

‘Someday, Kaoru… someday I will…’

Pulling the covers over her, he sat back and watched her. Beautiful in his eyes, beautiful as an angel.

fin