Kaoru wanted to say something, but Sanosuke beat her to it. “Oi, Kenshin, you don’t have to if you don’t want to. All of us have something from the past to hide. But right here, it doesn’t matter. We’re all family now.”

“Still I don’t want to hide from any of you anymore.” Kenshin uttered.

Again, Kaoru was cut off. Megumi had said, “Ken-san, whatever it is you have to tell us, just remember, we care about you and there’s nothing in the world that would change that.”

“Arigatou Megumi-dono. I really appreciate it.”

Yahiko asked, “What is it that you want to say?”

By now, Kaoru was extremely anxious, however, Kenshin started his long and sad story: “When I was sixteen, I left home. I had enough of my foster guardian Hiko, and wanted to be on my own. I dropped out of high school and started looking for work. Somehow, someone heard of my great fighting skills and enlisted me to work as an assassin for an underground organization. It was good pay and I was low on morals, so I took the job. I still remember the first time I killed someone…the smell of blood never seemed to have left my senses.

“Three months after I had started, I was on a special assignment in Kyoto. There was a bystander in the way, so I had to kill him too. His girlfriend watched as I slashed through his heart. She stood there, holding his dead body. The strange thing was that as I was going to finish her off to, he suddenly had the strength to attack me with a shard of glass, giving me the first half of my scar. The woman…she escaped. But it wouldn’t be the last I’d see of her.

“Nearly a year later, I was working in Kyoto again. This time, I was on the run from police. When I rushed into a restaurant to hide, the waitress there was that very same woman. To get myself out of there, I used her as a hostage and was able to get back to my hideout. Not quite sure what to do with her, we had her work for us. That was when I learned that the woman’s name was Yukishiro Tomoe.

“Tomoe was a kind and caring woman. I had never met anyone like her. She was three years older than me, but she still treated me with respect as she did with the other guys. I felt special when I was around her. That was when we started dating. I think that was the happiest time of my life.

“After what seemed like an eternity turned out to be only three months. However, the organization was breaking down for there was a leak somewhere. Tomoe was kidnapped and held hostage by a rival of ours so I went to go save her. That was when I found out that it was a trap. Tomoe had been working with the enemy the whole time. Surrounded and betrayed, I was fighting to the death. For some reason though, Tomoe ran out to protect me as they fire gunshots at me. The final visions of her was of her lifeless body falling onto the snow covered cement…her knife leaving the other part of the scar on my face.

“I worked three more years as an assassin. That was when I received the title: ‘Battousai’. I guessed that killing was all I was good for; that my life could only be lived as an assassin. However, one day, I got caught with police and they made me a deal… if I killed this guy Shishio, I’d get away with a load of money and a clean slate. It was a tempting deal and I was tired of killing, so I took it.

“For the longest time, I wondered what I should do with the rest of my life. I had no family or close ties with anyone. One thing was for sure, I decided never to kill a person again, or let anyone get killed. After awhile, I thought I’d finish school, so I started studying hard. The first time I took the entrance exam I failed miserably. Every year since I’ve failed. It’s only recently I’ve thought I actually have a chance this year. It’s really thanks to all of you. I really thought that I shouldn’t get close to people, because I might end up hurting them. So I kept moving around. But I’m glad I’ve met all of you and that we’re all together right now…”

The room was filled with silence. Kaoru looked over at Kenshin, who was lowering his head. It was as if he was trying to hide his eyes, which were full of tears. Yet, she couldn’t say anything. It was the same with everyone. They all just sat there.

“This cross-shaped scar,” Kenshin said, “Perhaps the pain won’t ever go away, but I feel a little better telling you all about it.”

Sanosuke patted him on the shoulder. “It’s all right, man. Next time, it’ll be my turn.”

Tae looked at her watch. “It’s way past closing. I better kick out any stragglers downstairs. Please take home as much food as you want.” she said, walking down stairs.

Tsubame looked towards Kenshin. “Kenshin-san…”

Yahiko said from behind. “I’ll walk you home, Tsubame.” She nodded timidly and followed Yahiko downstairs.

Kaoru went up to Tae. “You sure you don’t need any help? I can stay for a little bit…”

“Absolutely no.” she replied, “There’s something else you must do.”

“Eh?”

Kaoru walked outside to see Kenshin, Megumi and Sanosuke just standing around. “Brrr, it’s cold. Isn’t it?” Sanosuke chuckled, elbowing Kenshin. He didn’t answer, but just wearily looked away.

“Jaa, I have to get up early for work tomorrow. See you all later.” Megumi said. She leaned over and gave Kenshin a slight hug. “Take care, okay Ken-san?”

“Oi, I’ll walk you to the train platform.” Sanosuke said.

”Why?” she asked suspiciously.

“You know… It’s better this way.” he replied, indicating Kaoru, and dragging Megumi along, “Bye, Jou-chan, Kenshin!”

“Good night!” Kaoru called after them. She turned back to Kenshin. “Are you ready to go home?”

He stared at the ground. “Actually, I was thinking about going for a walk.” he said, turning away, “Go on to the apartment without me. I won’t be long. I-I just want to be alone for a bit.”

She stared at the back of his head. He wouldn’t turn towards her like he usually did. “I understand.” she uttered. The two turned in different directions and left.

Kaoru waited for Kenshin to return. It wasn’t until past midnight, did she hear him get into his apartment. Kaoru was relieved he was home safely. She turned off the lights and tried to sleep.

* * *
‘Perhaps the pain won’t ever go away…’

Those words echoed throughout Kaoru’s minds as she walked up the stairs the following afternoon. She had just got out from work and felt a need to see Kenshin. But she wasn’t sure on what to say or do. She just needed to see him and hear his voice. Then, she would feel relieved. “Nee, it’s me!” she said, knocking on his door. The door just opened. “Hm? Kenshin?”

Walking in, she saw Sanosuke picking up boxes and dumping the contents on the floor. “YEEEAAAAAAHHH! The hell with this shit!” he exclaimed excitedly.

“What the heck are you doing?!” she cried.

“What the hell does it look like?” he snarled, “I’m f--king unpacking! Just in case that asshole Kenshin decides to skip town again! You know how hard it was for me look him after the last time he took off and ran somewhere without telling me! F--K HIM!”

“S-Sano, calm down! Mou!” she yelled, “Although you really do care about Kenshin, you have a funny way of showing it. Does he know what you’re doing to his apartment?”

Sanosuke rubbed his chin. “Well, he was on his way out when I arrived. Think he was going to library. He said I could hang around for a bit until he got back. But other than that, no, he doesn’t know.”

“In that case,” Kaoru said, “We better start cleaning up and putting things back where they were.” She knelt on the floor and began to refill up the boxes. Annoyed, Sanosuke kicked the box out of her hands, knocking the stuff all over the floor again. “Hey! What are you doing?”

“What’s wrong with you, Jou-chan?!” he yelled at her, “Do you want Kenshin to leave?!”

She gripped the box. “It doesn’t matter… if he needs to go, he should. There’s nothing I can do to stop him…”

“Jou-chan,” Sanosuke said softly, patting her on the head. “You were really upset over those things you heard yesterday, weren’t you? So, it wasn’t just me…that’s good. For a second there, I thought I was losing my mind.”

“You were.” she muttered, “I think I heard the siren of the ambulance outside, coming to take you away to the hospital.”

A voice from the door replied, “No, we don’t want him.” They turned to see Megumi, holding a paper bag. “I just came by to return the bowl I borrowed from Ken-san, but I see it’s only you two. However, I’m glad that I’m not the only one who didn’t enjoy the news about Ken-san’s past.” She closed the door behind her and walked in. “It just didn’t seem real…all those terrible things that happened to Ken-san.”

Sanosuke put his hands in his pockets and leaned against the window. “It’s no fair. Kenshin is suffering because of what happened in the past and we can’t do anything about it. Dammit, I feel so helpless.”

Kaoru held up the picture of Tomoe and stared at it. “Although I thought that the past shouldn’t be a concern, it’s still there. You can’t erase it; it leaves an invisible mark on your heart.” she uttered, “Our Kenshin resulted from this dark past. If none of those things didn’t happen, we wouldn’t have the Kenshin we know.”

Megumi asked, “Isn’t that a bit selfish? I mean, Ken-san had suffered and you’re saying we should be glad for it?”

“No, not at all! It's just... I don’t support what Tomoe-san did. Even though she protected Kenshin, that doesn’t take away the greater pain of losing her.” she replied, “That’s why… no matter what, I won’t leave his side. That way, Kenshin won’t be hurt again.”

“What are you talking about, you silly girl?” Megumi snapped, “You’re no replacement for Tomoe-san.”

Kaoru dropped down into a chair. The hurt expression on her face made Megumi regret her words. “I know that…” she said in an injured voice, “Still I want to be near him. I’m trying my best. I don’t know if it’s enough… but I don’t think I ever want to be separated from Kenshin.”

Sanosuke put his hand on her shoulder and held Megumi back. “Oi, that’s enough. Let’s give Jou-chan some time on her own to figure this out.”

“Very well.” she replied, shooting a glance over to Kaoru, who just stared at the floor. Before she knew it, Sanosuke started dragging her by the arm out the door and towards the stairs. “Hey, that’s no way to treat a lady!”

“Who said I’m treating a lady, I’m treating a Fox.”

“Why you...!”

After they had left, Kaoru got up from the chair. ‘Megumi-san’s right. No matter what I think, I’m no replacement.’ she thought, walking around the room, ‘Still, I can’t let this get me down. Otherwise, Kenshin’s scar will never go away. I’ll just have to do my best.’

* * *
That evening, Kenshin arrived home from the library. “ORO?” His apartment was a complete mess, all his things slipped on the floor. “W-was I robbed?!” he gasped, looking back and forth franticly.

He stopped to hear the bell from the wind chime Kaoru had bought him from their summer vacation. Outside, the leaves on the trees were turning red and orange and the weather was getting colder. The slow-paced summer was coming to an end. Still, the warm memories were burning in his mind.

‘Invisible marks in your heart might not ever go away but…’ Kenshin thought, smiling. He dropped down into his chair and started studying, ‘Some of them aren’t so terrible…’