It was one sunny day at the Kamiya dojo. Kaoru had gathered up her friends all in one room, pacing in front of them nervously. “What’s the matter de gozaru?” Kenshin asked, watching her gulp down a whole glass of water, “Please tell us, Kaoru-dono.”

She finally stopped her pacing and looked at all of them, her fists clenched at her side, “Minna, the truth is, I…” she declared, “I… I’m pregnant.”

At this, everyone in the room was in shock. Then, after a pause, they all turned towards Kenshin. “Oro?! D-demo… sessha has never touched Kaoru-dono de gozaru yo!!”

Tae pointed at him. “Usou! Don’t lie, Ken-han! Just admit it already!” she snapped as Sanosuke and Yahiko ganged up on him.

”Sessha is telling the truth!!!”

”Actually,” Kaoru replied, “The father is… Yukishiro Enishi.”

”Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeh?!?!?!” everyone exclaimed.

She rubbed her head, “It happened during the Jinchuu. We were alone in the house and got a bit drunk. One thing led to another and…”

”Masaka!” Kenshin cried.

Sanosuke stood up. “Maa, there’s work to be done! Yahiko, let’s go find this Enishi and make him pay for what he’s done to Jou-chan!”

”Oh! I’m with you, Sanosuke!” the junior samurai chimed, shinai at hand.

As the duo ran out the room, the women turned towards Kaoru, “It can’t be helped. We’ll have to be married… there’s no way I can have an illegitimate child. It’ll bring shame onto the Kamiya name.”

Megumi patted her on the back, “It’s okay, Kaoru-chan. We’ll support you.”

Tae grinned. “I’ll help plan the wedding! And I’ll cater for free!”

Tsubame nodded. “Yokkata nee, Kaoru-san!”

”Oro…” Kenshin uttered, collapsing onto the floor.

THE WEDDING!
Sanosuke and Yahiko had found Enishi at the ‘village of outcasts’ and strangely willing to go with them. He cleaned up nicely and agreed to the marriage.

The ceremony was at a nearby temple. All of Kaoru’s friends attended. Kaoru had her makeup specially done and the kimono she wore was absolutely gorgeous.

Tae had planned this wedding absolutely perfectly, the reception to be at the Akabeko. ”I can’t believe Kaoru-chan is finally getting married!” she sighed happily, “My work is done!” Tsubame handed her a hankerchief. “Arigatou…” she sniffed.

Just as Enishi and Kaoru were drinking the sacramental sake, Kenshin leapt up on his feet, waving his sakabatou. “Enishi!! Sessha challenges you to dual!! Let’s take it outside de gozaru!! Sessha will even go Battousai!!! Saaa!! Iku de gozaru yo!!”

Megumi and Sanosuke yanked him back down onto his seat cushion. “That’s the third time already…” Yahiko sighed.

THE HONEYMOON!!
Kenshin stood outside Kaoru’s bedroom, listening painfully to the loud and awkward noises coming from inside. The house seemed to be shaking, things falling off the shelves and breaking. “Orororo!!”

He could hear Enishi’s voice the loudest, repeatedly yelling out, “KAORU! DAME DAMEEEEEE!!!!!!”

He then stopped to hear Kaoru’s voice, “K…Kenshin! KENSHIN!!!! KENSHIIIIIIIN!!!”

’Oro?! Kaoru is calling for Sessha??’

She then cried, “Ask Kenshin to start up a bath for us!”

Kenshin face-faulted onto the floor. Moments later, he was sitting at the back of the bathhouse throwing in logs as the strange and awkward noises continued inside. “Oro…”

THE INLAWS!!!
A sunny day outside the dojo, Enishi pointed to his left, “Kaoru-koishii, this is my father.”

The oibore coughed and lifted his hat, “Maa! I’ve been wann-in’ to meet cha! I’m so glad ma’ boy has found sucha sweet gal to marry! Ho ho!”

”Arigatou, Otou-san.” Kaoru said, bowing her head.

Yahiko grimaced. “Kono jiji is gonna live here with us…?”

Enishi then pointed to his right, “And this is my onee-san, Tomoe.”

Everyone paused, then stared at him. “What are you talking about?” Megumi asked.

“Tomoe’s been dead for fifteen years!” Kenshin cried.

Sanosuke scratched his head, “Enishi, you feeling alright?? There ain’t anyone there.”

“Tomoe’s been dead for fifteen years!!” Kenshin repeated himself.

Kaoru bowed her head, “Tomoe-oneesan, yoroshiku.” She lifted her eyes slightly and saw the woman, in a glowing white, a big smile on her face, “Tomoe-oneesan…”

”Kaoru-kun, will you please my brother day and night?”

”I… I will try.”

”Before, during, and after meals. For the rest of your life?”

”Hai, I will do as you ask, Tomoe-oneesan.”

Everyone was staring at her, wondering why she too was seeing things. The oibore then chimed, “Maa, welcome to the family!!”

A SHORT AFFAIR
Kenshin watched as Enishi was leaving to go fishing, a cheerful grin on his face. He then tip-toed to the house, opening and closing the door quickly. “Kaoru-dono…” he uttered breathlessly.

“Kenshin, nani?” she asked, putting down her knitting. “Is something wrong??”

”Everything is wrong de gozaru!” he cried, taking her hands, “It should be Sessha whose baby you’re carrying and Sessha who you’re married to and sleeping with! Not Enishi de gozaru!!”

She stared at him, “What are you talking about??”

”Sessha… sessha loves you, Kaoru-dono!!!” he cried.

“I love you too, Kenshin. I’ve always loved you.” she said, taking his face into her hands, “Demo… I’m married and we’re ‘brother and sister’ now… it can’t be helped…”

Ignoring her words, he took her into his arms, embracing her with full strength. Then lifting her up, he thrust her onto the wall, an explicit kissing scene following.

“Kaoru-koishiii!!!” Enishi’s voice had ruined everything.

Kaoru pushed Kenshin away and went running out the room, “Hai, Anata??”

As Kenshin lay dazed on the floor, Enishi said, “Forgot to kiss ya goodbye!”

HAPPY MARRIED LIFE!
Kenshin sat outside, washing laundry as Yahiko was leaving to go practice elsewhere. Enishi then walked up to him, dropping a pile of matching gray uniforms, the same one he was wearing. “Onegai?”

”Sessha is NOT your servant de gozaru!!!” he snapped.

“I never said you were, Ken-nisan.” he replied happily, “But I just wanted to give you something to do, that's all.”

Kenshin growled to himself, ‘All you ever do is sit around lazily and be pampered by Kaoru!’

Enishi went back towards the house and sat down. Kaoru came by with a tray of tea and shortbread, placing in front of him. He went at it right away. “Oishii!! Have a taste!” he said, having her take bite in the same place he did.

She then knelt behind him, rubbing his shoulders. On her back, she had the baby strapped in a pouch. He was a sleepy boy, with strange spiky white hair and little glasses. “Dou, Anata?”

“Mm, perfect, Koishii!”

Kenshin started growling again. He then got up and walked away from the spectacle, towards the other side of the house. He stopped dead in his tracks. “T…Tomoe??”

The woman had been standing near the garden, admiring the flowers. She turned towards him smiling, without a single word, smiling.

“Tomoe, naze??” he cried, “Why in the hell did this happen!?!?!”

She just smiled brighter, shrugging.

“That does it! Sessha can’t take it anymore!! Kill me now! Make this end! Make it end!!!!!”

Tomoe nodded, holding out her hand. All of a sudden a shinai flew into it. Then, without hesitation, she pulled it open to reveal it was a trick staff. Unleashing the blade, she sliced through Kenshin. He fell to the ground, dead.

* * *
”OROROROORORORORORO!!!!”

Kenshin sat up panting and clutching his chest, ‘What a terrible nightmare! How in the hell did I dream this?? Sessha thought that…!!’

Without thinking anymore, he got up and raced out of his room to the other side of the house, barging into the room, “Kaoru-dono!!”

“K…Kenshin…?” she murmured, sitting up and rubbing her eyes, “Nani?” He didn’t say anything, but stood and stared at her. She got up and started to walk towards him. “What’s wrong?”

He simply took her into his arms, kissing her, touching her, carrying her to the futon. They fell backwards, hands and lips going everywhere. After a while, Kaoru managed to get a word in.

“Kenshin…what’s gotten into you??” she gasped, trying to hold him still, “Kenshin, please tell me what’s going on!”

”Sessha… sessha wants to father your child!”

”Eeeh?!” Kaoru smacked him across the face, “WHAT IN THE HELL…?!”

He blushed, “Suman… it came out wrong. What Sessha meant was… I love you, Kaoru. I’ve always loved you. I want to be the ‘one’. Please understand my feelings. Onegai!!”

“Kenshin…” she uttered, stroking his cheek, “I love you too.” With that, the two went back to what they were doing earlier, the night going on forever.

Some time later,
It was one sunny day at the Kamiya dojo. Kaoru had gathered up her friends all in one room, pacing in front of them nervously. “What’s the matter de gozaru?” Kenshin asked, watching her gulp down a whole glass of water, “Please tell us, Kaoru.”

She finally stopped her pacing and looked at all of them, her fists clenched at her side, “Minna, the truth is, I…” she declared, “I… I’m pregnant.”

At this, everyone in the room was in shock. Kenshin gazed at her with loving eyes and smiled happily, “Yokkata de gozaru!”

”Actually,” Kaoru replied, “The father is not you, Kenshin.”

”Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeh?!?!?!” he exclaimed.

Sanosuke stood up and put his arm around Kaoru, “Gomen, Kenshin…”

* * *
“OROROROROROORORORORORO!!!!!!!”

Kenshin sat up panting and sweating, his eyes wide and mouth gaping. Then a hand appeared at his chest, easing him back down the futon. Kaoru sat up and stared down at him sleepily.

“Having another nightmare?” she asked rubbing her eyes. He nodded. “Were you fighting someone I know?”

He grimaced slightly, gazing at her stomach, the bulge already becoming definite. He couldn’t help but reach out his hands and touch it. Kaoru sighed, realizing what kind of dream he just had.

“Kenshin, “ she uttered, putting her arms around him and kissing away his fears, “Of course it’s you.” she whispered, “It’s always been you…”

FIN