Robert Frost
The
Self-Seeker Robert Frost |
WILLIS, I didnt want you here to-day:
The lawyers coming for the company.
Im going to sell my soul, or, rather, feet.
Five hundred dollars for the pair, you know.
With you the feet have nearly been the soul;
And if youre going to sell them to the devil,
I want to see you do it. Whens he coming?
I half suspect you knew, and came on purpose
To try to help me drive a better bargain.
Well, if its true! Yours are no common feet.
The lawyer dont know what it is hes buying:
So many miles you might have walked you wont walk.
You havent run your forty orchids down.
What does he think?How are the blessed feet?
The doctors sure youre going to walk again?
He thinks Ill hobble. Its both legs and feet.
They must be terribleI mean to look at.
I havent dared to look at them uncovered.
Through the bed blankets I remind myself
Of a starfish laid out with rigid points.
The wonder is it hadnt been your head.
Its hard to tell you how I managed it.
When I saw the shaft had me by the coat,
I didnt try too long to pull away,
Or fumble for my knife to cut away,
I just embraced the shaft and rode it out
Till Weiss shut off the water in the wheel-pit.
Thats how I think I didnt lose my head.
But my legs got their knocks against the ceiling.
Awful. Why didnt they throw off the belt
Instead of going clear down in the wheel-pit?
They say some time was wasted on the belt
Old streak of leatherdoesnt love me much
Because I make him spit fire at my knuckles,
The way Ben Franklin used to make the kite-string.
That must be it. Some days he wont stay on.
That day a woman couldnt coax him off.
Hes on his rounds now with his tail in his mouth
Snatched right and left across the silver pulleys.
Everything goes the same without me there.
You can hear the small buzz saws whine, the big saw
Caterwaul to the hills around the village
As they both bite the wood. Its all our music.
One ought as a good villager to like it.
No doubt it has a sort of prosperous sound,
And its our life.
Yes, when its not our death.
You make that sound as if it wasnt so
With everything. What we live by we die by.
I wonder where my lawyer is. His trains in.
I want this over with; Im hot and tired.
Youre getting ready to do something foolish.
Watch for him, will you, Will? You let him in.
Id rather Mrs. Corbin didnt know;
Ive boarded here so long, she thinks she owns me.
Youre bad enough to manage without her.
And Im going to be worse instead of better.
Youve got to tell me how far this is gone:
Have you agreed to any price?
Five hundred.
Five hundredfivefive! One, two, three, four, five.
You neednt look at me.
I dont believe you.
I told you, Willis, when you first came in.
Dont you be hard on me. I have to take
What I can get. You see they have the feet,
Which gives them the advantage in the trade.
I cant get back the feet in any case.
But your flowers, man, youre selling out your flowers.
Yes, thats one way to put itall the flowers
Of every kind everywhere in this region
For the next forty summerscall it forty.
But Im not selling those, Im giving them,
They never earned me so much as one cent:
Money cant pay me for the loss of them.
No, the five hundred was the sum they named
To pay the doctors bill and tide me over.
Its that or fight, and I dont want to fight
I just want to get settled in my life,
Such as its going to be, and know the worst,
Or bestit may not be so bad. The firm
Promise me all the shooks I want to nail.
But what about your flora of the valley?
You have me there. But thatyou didnt think
That was worth money to me? Still I own
It goes against me not to finish it
For the friends it might bring me. By the way,
I had a letter from Burroughsdid I tell you?
About my Cyprepedium reginę;
He says its not reported so far north.
There! theres the bell. Hes rung. But you go down
And bring him up, and dont let Mrs. Corbin.
Oh, well, well soon be through with it. Im tired.
Willis brought up besides the Boston lawyer
A little barefoot girl who in the noise
Of heavy footsteps in the old frame house,
And baritone importance of the lawyer,
Stood for a while unnoticed with her hands
Shyly behind her.
Well, and how is Mister
The lawyer was already in his satchel
As if for papers that might bear the name
He hadnt at command. You must excuse me,
I dropped in at the mill and was detained.
Looking round, I suppose, said Willis.
Yes,
Well, yes.
Hear anything that might prove useful?
The Broken One saw Anne. Why, here is Anne.
What do you want, dear? Come, stand by the bed;
Tell me what is it? Anne just wagged her dress
With both hands held behind her. Guess, she said.
Oh, guess which hand? My my! Once on a time
I knew a lovely way to tell for certain
By looking in the ears. But I forget it.
Er, let me see. I think Ill take the right.
Thats sure to be right even if its wrong.
Come, hold it out. Dont change.A Rams Horn orchid!
A Rams Horn! What would I have got, I wonder,
If I had chosen left. Hold out the left.
Another Rams Horn! Where did you find those,
Under what beech tree, on what woodchucks knoll?
Anne looked at the large lawyer at her side,
And thought she wouldnt venture on so much.
Were there no others?
There were four or five.
I knew you wouldnt let me pick them all.
I wouldntso I wouldnt. Youre the girl!
You see Anne has her lesson learned by heart.
I wanted there should be some there next year.
Of course you did. You left the rest for seed,
And for the backwoods woodchuck. Youre the girl!
A Rams Horn orchid seedpod for a woodchuck
Sounds something like. Better than farmers beans
To a discriminating appetite,
Though the Rams Horn is seldom to be had
In bushel lotsdoesnt come on the market.
But, Anne, Im troubled; have you told me all?
Youre hiding something. Thats as bad as lying.
You ask this lawyer man. And its not safe
With a lawyer at hand to find you out.
Nothing is hidden from some people, Anne.
You dont tell me that where you found a Rams Horn
You didnt find a Yellow Ladys Slipper.
What did I tell you? What? Id blush, I would.
Dont you defend yourself. If it was there,
Where is it now, the Yellow Ladys Slipper?
Well, waitits commonits too common.
Common?
The Purple Ladys Slippers commoner.
I didnt bring a Purple Ladys Slipper
To Youto you I meantheyre both too common.
The lawyer gave a laugh among his papers
As if with some idea that she had scored.
Ive broken Anne of gathering bouquets.
Its not fair to the child. It cant be helped though:
Pressed into service means pressed out of shape.
Somehow Ill make it right with hershell see.
Shes going to do my scouting in the field,
Over stone walls and all along a wood
And by a river bank for water flowers,
The floating Heart, with small leaf like a heart,
And at the sinus under water a fist
Of little fingers all kept down but one,
And that thrust up to blossom in the sun
As if to say, You! Youre the Hearts desire.
Anne has a way with flowers to take the place
Of that shes lost: she goes down on one knee
And lifts their faces by the chin to hers
And says their names, and leaves them where they are.
The lawyer wore a watch the case of which
Was cunningly devised to make a noise
Like a small pistol when he snapped it shut
At such a time as this. He snapped it now.
Well, Anne, go, dearie. Our affair will wait.
The lawyer man is thinking of his train.
He wants to give me lots and lots of money
Before he goes, because I hurt myself,
And it may take him I dont know how long.
But put our flowers in water first. Will, help her:
The pitchers too full for her. Theres no cup?
Just hook them on the inside of the pitcher.
Now run.Get out your documents! You see
I have to keep on the good side of Anne.
Im a great boy to think of number one.
And you cant blame me in the place Im in.
Who will take care of my necessities
Unless I do?
A pretty interlude,
The lawyer said. Im sorry, but my train
Luckily terms are all agreed upon.
You only have to sign your name. Rightthere.
You, Will, stop making faces. Come round here
Where you cant make them. What is it you want?
Ill put you out with Anne. Be good or go.
You dont mean you will sign that thing unread?
Make yourself useful then, and read it for me.
Isnt it something I have seen before?
Youll find it is. Let your friend look at it.
Yes, but all that takes time, and Im as much
In haste to get it over with as you.
But read it, read it. Thats right, draw the curtain:
Half the time I dont know whats troubling me.
What do you say, Will? Dont you be a fool,
You! crumpling folkses legal documents.
Out with it if youve any real objection.
Five hundred dollars!
What would you think right?
A thousand wouldnt be a cent too much;
You know it, Mr. Lawyer. The sin is
Accepting anything before he knows
Whether hes ever going to walk again.
It smells to me like a dishonest trick.
I thinkI thinkfrom what I heard to-day
And saw myselfhe would be ill-advised
What did you hear, for instance? Willis said.
Now the place where the accident occurred
The Broken One was twisted in his bed.
This is between you two apparently.
Where I come in is what I want to know.
You stand up to it like a pair of cocks.
Go outdoors if you want to fight. Spare me.
When you come back, Ill have the papers signed.
Will pencil do? Then, please, your fountain pen.
One of you hold my head up from the pillow.
Willis flung off the bed. I wash my hands
Im no matchno, and dont pretend to be
The lawyer gravely capped his fountain pen.
Youre doing the wise thing: you wont regret it.
Were very sorry for you.
Willis sneered:
Whos we?some stockholders in Boston?
Ill go outdoors, by gad, and wont come back.
Willis, bring Anne back with you when you come.
Yes. Thanks for caring. Dont mind Will: hes savage
He thinks you ought to pay me for my flowers.
You dont know what I mean about the flowers.
Dont stop to try to now. Youll miss your train.
Good-bye. He flung his arms around his face.
From The Poetry of Robert Frost by Robert Frost, edited by Edward Connery Lathem. Copyright 1916, 1923, 1928, 1930, 1934, 1939, 1947, 1949, © 1969 by Holt Rinehart and Winston, Inc. Copyright 1936, 1942, 1944, 1945, 1947, 1948, 1951, 1953, 1954, © 1956, 1958, 1959, 1961, 1962 by Robert Frost. Copyright © 1962, 1967, 1970 by Leslie Frost Ballantine.