|
Inside, it was a garbage pit. Things of my existence, with no known origin, lay ruin everywhere, and cluttered my soul. Everywhere was filth. The garbage had a horrible smell of rotting and decayed
feelings buried deep under the garbage of my life. Disgust and confusion reigned as gods in this
innermost piece of myself. No light laid its shine in this pit of my soul. Darkness and dying were
almost all that my soul ever knew anymore. A cloudy memory comes to mind. That sometimes, someone came to me inside. It seems I thought of him as the garbage man. He came to ask if he could take a load for me. But always, I refused. For I thought that it would cost me more than I could afford to pay. He was a kind old guy and a smile he always brought. But a smile I could not give. "Just leave me alone", I'd say, "and come back another day". A feeling a sadness and pain would come to me, the times this man spoke to me. I knew not why, nor could I dwell on it for long. For always, more garbage would come along, leaving just another feeling buried once again. For many years I lived in the stench and filth of this existence. With a bottle in hand and pills in my veins, I wandered in the gutters of deterioration. My body thrived in the freeways of the sewers, continueing on.......its' dying quest. And so it was, that the garbage which my body collected, was all my soul ever knew for survival. But yet somehow, I vaguely knew, that something in that, was wrong. Toward the end of that existence, there became so much garbage, that I was walking in a fog of spiritual, emotional and mental death. I no longer could see nor feel anything at all. And so that was how, The Garbage Man was at last able to come unto me and relieve me of that disgust of filth. He came with love and gentleness, ever so soft. And He took just a little of my garbage that day. Leaving behind, on the top of my pile, something quiet to replace what he took. Somehow, I distantly felt that something had changed. But I knew not what. Time has gone by and I am astounded to realize the magnitude of what has happened. the garbage is gone, the bottle and the pills are gone, and my body and soul have been filled with the miracle of life. The tears roll down my face as I feel the love for the man I knew before as, "The Garbage Man". No longer am I dying, but I am alive. Today I feel and see as never before. My soul has feeling inside and is no longer dying in darkness. It is alive with a brilliant peacefulness that was freely given to me. I smile, because today I know that The Garbage Man of my past, really is, the man I know |
