Someday Forever

***SPOILERS***

AUTHOR: Laura romantical@geocities.com

RATING: PG-14

SETTING: Spoilers for a couple of upcoming episodes, but I think it's all well known knowledge, but if you're living spoiler free don't go any further.

DISCLAIMER: All characters are copyright Joss Whedon. I just like cleaning up the messes he makes.

DISTRIBUTION: Ask and ye shall receive This, and my other fics, are archived at http://members.dencity.com/romantical1/

AUTHOR'S NOTES: This is for Tracy - who can't read it because she hates spoilers, Amy - who is a silly little beta-gurl, Amy - who is my biggest cheerleader and Terry - because I miss her.

She hadn't told anyone yet, not even Buffy. She knew she should. She knew that, to feel any better, she was going to have to talk to someone and get everything out into the open.

How he barely looked at her that night, how he'd been completely enslaved by his animalistic side and she'd been all but forgotten. And how he had told her it was best for everyone if they stopped seeing each other and he took off for a while.

Even if she didn't want to share her humiliation, she needed to let everyone know that they were down one Slayerette.

The problem was, she didn't know who to turn to. Buffy was still reeling from the Parker experience, still trying to find her way. And, while she'd probably be able to understand, she wasn't going to be able to be sympathy girl.

Giles…well, Giles would get all flustered like he did any time something

personal came up. Although he was much more relaxed now that he wasn't librarian/Watcher guy, he was still a sort of father figure and you just

don't tell Dad that the guy you were sleeping with just dumped you.

Which left Xander.

Willow sighed and fell back across her bed. Xander had been her best friend forever. They used to tell each other everything. But Willow didn't know how to tell him this. They hadn't really discussed anything personal since the fluke and this was nothing if not personal. And it left her wide open for "I told you so's" and "what if's." And she'd gone through enough what-if's since the fluke on her own.

Sighing heavily, Willow resigned herself to her fate and reached for the

phone.

He was her best friend. He'd be there for her. It wasn't as if either of them had anyone else right now.

***

Anya watched Xander as he wiped the counter in front of him. He'd been studiously avoiding making eye contact with her, which she understood. This was how the male animal operated in public, especially while providing for his family unit or, in this case, making money to pay the rent.

After costing him his last job, she didn't want to ruin his chances here.

It wasn't as if she'd meant to get him fired. She didn't know that getting caught in the back room with a half-naked woman standing in front of you was grounds for dismissal. It had even ruined her hope that she could entice him back with her body, which she knew was exceptional.

Glancing over at Xander, she sighed. Why couldn't this be simple? Why did she have to have these feelings? Why couldn't she go back to being a vengeful demon? Was that really so much to ask?

The phone behind the counter rang and she watched him as he moved to answer it. Something about the way his eyes lit up as he heard the voice on the other end caught her attention and she listened in. She may look human, but losing the power of the Wish didn't mean she'd lost everything that made her a demon. Hypersensitive hearing was always in need.

"Hey Wills."

Oh, Gods of the underworld. That meddlesome witch was always throwing a

monkey wrench…whatever that was, into her plans. Xander was always either so concerned about her or the Slayer that he never had time for her.

"What's wrong? Wills? All right, all right. I get off in an hour. I'll meet you at the cafeteria, okay? No. I won't make you buy me dinner." He paused for a moment. "Are you okay, Willow?"

She listened as he did, unable to hear Willow's responses, but easily able to read Xander's reaction to them. He was upset. Both for her and because she wouldn't tell him anything.

"All right, I'll be there. I…I'll see you soon."

He hung up the phone and Anya couldn't help but evaluate him. His eyes were worried, his face drawn, his demeanor completely different than it had been before the phone had rung. Which meant he was still hung up on her, the

woman that had caused all of his problems in the first place.

Anya smiled dangerously and stood up. The cafeteria in an hour. That was do-able.

***

Xander sighed with relief as Anya stood up and left the coffee shop. She had been staring at him for the last hour, slowly sipping the coffee she'd bought when she first came in, her eyes burning into him as if they still had some sort of demonic power. He swiped the counter with a cloth once

again and sat on the stool next to the espresso machine.

"I don't understand women."

The other man behind the counter nodded. "I know what you mean."

"I don't know. I met this girl…"

"I've heard every story in the book, Xander. Written a few of them myself. Unless you're dating some sort of demon from another dimension, you're not going to surprise me."

"Well, now that you mention it…" Xander looked up in the surprised silence, automatically grinning to cover his potential faux pas. "She seems like a demon sometimes."

"Yeah, they all do. Even the nice ones surprise you time and again."

The thought of the nice ones brought Xander's mind back to Willow. Something was wrong and she was upset. He could hear it in her voice and, the thing that saddened him the most, was the fact that he had very little idea of what could be wrong. She'd seemed so happy lately. She and Oz had been sickeningly cute together the last time he'd seen them.

She'd also come by whatever job he happened to be doing just to say hi, making him smile with her nervous attempts at re-establishing their friendship. As horrible and as confusing as life had been since his return to Sunnydale, being friends again had made it just a little bit easier.

Maybe he'd tell her that today, just to make her feel better.

***

Willow sat at a table in the corner, staring out the window at nothing. Glancing down at her watch, she bit her lip. Almost time. He'd be here

soon and she'd have to figure out what to say and how to say it and what it all meant. She'd have to make sure that they were friends and that he knew that there was no way she was willing to be anything more. Not for a long time. Hopefully he'd understand how she felt about Oz and not give her a hard time the way he used to.

Hopefully…

"Hi, Willow."

She shook her head slightly, clearing her mind as Anya sat across from her. "Anya. Hi. When did you get back to town?"

"A couple of weeks ago. I've been sort of keeping to myself. Well, sort of."

"Sort of?" Willow struggled to keep the conversation going, unsure of where the other girl was leading it. It was obvious from the smile on her face that she had very definite plans of what she wanted to say. "I…"

"Well, I've been spending a lot of time with Xander."

Willow was unprepared for the pain that shot through her heart. What kind of comment on their friendship was it when Xander started bringing dates to their heart to hearts? "Really?"

"And I was wondering if I could ask you a question? I mean, you've known Xander forever and I figured you'd be the best person to ask."

"Why not ask Xander himself?" Fear flowed through her, along with the pain now. Unbidden emotions seemed to surge into her body, fueling the trembling that shook her voice.

"It's not the sort of thing I can ask him. I need to ask another girl."

Willow nodded, not trusting her voice.

"Well, I wanted to get him out of my system, I really did. I'm sure you, of all people, understand that. But I think I went about it the wrong way. I mean, now that we've slept together, I think about him more than I did before."

"Now that you've…" The tears she'd been praying wouldn't come now surfaced, swimming in her eyes. She blinked rapidly, sending them down her cheeks in a cascade. "You had sex with him?"

"Well, I hope it wasn't just sex. That's why I wanted to talk to you. I mean, you know him best. What should I do to make sure that he stays interested?"

"I…I don't think I'm the person to ask," Willow got quickly to her feet and grabbed her book bag. "The only thing that has ever interested Xander, in my experience, is disinterest. You'll have to excuse me. I have a class."

She started for the door of the cafeteria, her pace quick and purposeful, until she looked up and saw Xander walk in the room. Turning abruptly, she ran for the side door, pushing her way through the line in an effort to get away from him.

Xander stared after her, his eyes hurt and his expression one of confused disbelief. He gazed around the room, wondering what could have set Willow off so badly, stopping when he saw Anya's gloat. Closing his eyes, Xander cursed under his breath and started after Willow.

***

Willow ran to the edge of campus, only stopping when she hit the small stand of trees that lined the property. Sinking onto the ground at the base of a large oak, she struggled to keep herself from crying.

"Willow?"

Her chin jerked up at his voice and she met his eyes. The dark brown reflected concern when they met hers. "Go away."

"We can talk about this."

"There's nothing to talk about Xander."

"You said you needed to talk to me."

"I needed someone to talk to. You were available." She hated the harshness of her tone, but couldn't seem to stop it. "You're used to that though,

aren't you?"

He flinched and stepped back. "You asked me here to attack me?"

"I didn't ask you here. I asked you to the cafeteria, but when I did that, I didn't expect you to bring your newest conquest along with you."

Everything became clear and Xander suddenly understood Anya's look of triumph. He sighed. "Anya told you."

"She didn't tell me, Xander. She asked me for advice on how to keep you

interested. As if I'd know." She laughed bitterly. "I couldn't keep your attention longer than it took us to get caught."

"That's unfair," Xander stated quietly. He sat down across from her. "You chose Oz. You're the one who did the leaving, Willow. You didn't give me much say in the matter."

"And what would you have said, Xander? Cordelia was in the hospital with a hole in her stomach. Were you going to take that moment to confess your

love to me?" She shook her head. "This doesn't matter. It was over and done with a long time ago now. You've moved on."

"So have you. You and Oz are…"

"No longer a couple."

Silence filled the small clearing they sat in, heavy oppressive silence that seemed to hover in the air. "Why? What happened?"

"He found someone he likes better than me. Someone who…" she shrugged. "Never mind. It's not as important as I thought. Suddenly being alone seems to have a lot of advantages."

"Willow, talk to me." His eyes implored her. He wanted to know, needed to know, that things were all right between them. "Tell me what's going on?"

She stood up, brushing leaves from her skirt. "No. I told you what I needed to. I got the whole thing off my chest. Someone else knows, it doesn't seem so bad." Her green eyes were sad, refusing to meet his for any period of time. "I think I just need a little time alone." She brushed

past him, heading for her dorm.

Xander watched her walk for a few minutes before catching up to her. "I

don't know what to do, Wills."

She kept walking, neither encouraging nor discouraging him.

"I like her. She's nice. Strange, but nice. She tries so hard to understand. It's like she's going through puberty all at once, trying to learn about emotions at the same time she's trying to learn about her body and who she is now that she's not a demon. And I do like her." He reached over and caught his best friend's hand. "But I'm not sure that I want what she wants."

"What does she want?"

He smiled at her whispered question. "Me. I don't know why…"

"I do."

Stopping, Xander pulled Willow to a halt next to him. "What do you mean?"

"You're a nice guy, Alexander LaVelle Harris. Whether you want to be or

not. It's bound to attract some attention. She could do worse."

He laughed and they fell into step again. "She showed up and dropped her dress on the floor. And, being the model of self-restraint that I am…"

"Better than Faith?"

"Being tortured by iguanas armed with red hot pokers would be better than Faith. And so far, Anya hasn't tried to kill me."

"So far."

"It was nice. Not great, not super romantic, but nice."

"A nice you could get used to?"

"I don't think that's the kind of nice she needs right now. I think she

needs a friend and I think maybe she might need a boyfriend willing to show her the ropes, but I don't think she needs a lover or a sex partner. And I don't think I do either."

"You didn't answer my question."

"I don't need that kind of nice right now, either." They reached her dorm and Xander tilted his head toward the door. Willow nodded and he smiled, opening the door for them both. They walked up to the room she shared with Buffy, keeping silent by unspoken agreement.

Once inside the room, they settled down on her bed, both of them on opposite ends. "Are you going to fall in love with her?"

Xander looked at his hands for a long time before looking up at his best

friend. "I don't know. I don't plan on it, but you don't always fall for the people you intend to."

Willow laughed. "Don't I know that!"

"Will you tell me now?"

"Oz…Oz met someone. Another werewolf. A girl werewolf. Apparently, right now he'd rather have a bitch than a nice girl."

Xander's eyes widened and he laughed. "Meow. You're being quite the animal yourself, aren't you?"

"He was upset that I was jealous. She and I didn't get along, to say the least."

"I can imagine that. Well, I don't have to imagine, do I? Let me see, what was her name...? Oh yeah, Cordelia."

"He decided that we needed to spend some time apart, so he's going out of town with the Dingoes. I don't know what we are right now, except not together. And I don't know how time apart is supposed to make it better." She sighed. "He brought it up. When we were fighting."

"The fluke?"

She nodded. "Even though it's supposed to be forgotten, it's obviously still between us. Ammunition."

"I'm sorry, Wills."

"Sorry?" Her eyes met his, questioning.

"Not about what happened. I'll never be sorry for those kisses. I'll never be sorry for being that close to you, even for a short time. I'm just sorry that he can use what was so wonderful to be so hurtful."

"Not so wonderful to him."

"Wonderful to me." Xander blushed. "The price was high. I thought I'd

lost you for good. I didn't know if this," he gestured between the two of them. "Would ever happen again. But I guess it did."

"You're my best friend, Xander. You do a lot of stupid things, but I always seem to find myself forgiving you for them."

"And you never do anything stupid?" He narrowed his eyes. "Never?"

"Only when I listen to you."

He nodded his agreement, "Well, that's probably true." He got off his end of the bed and moved to sit next to her. Placing his arm around her shoulders, he pulled her close to him in a hug. "So, what do you think Wills? Are you and I ever going to get it right?"

She shrugged, slipping her arm around his waist. "Maybe. Someday." She turned her head and smiled at him. "For now, I'll settle for friendship."

"Oh. Okay. Because I was going to suggest a bizarre love triangle with

you, me and Buffy."

"And what about Anya?"

"Well, if you want her to join us…"

Willow smacked his arm and shoved him from the bed. He fell onto the floor and she leaned over the edge to smile down at him. "Friends?"

He smiled up at her in return, his happiness genuine for the first time in a long time. "Forever."

END