Oogami was shocked to find the entire Teigeki empty. “Hello!” he called, putting down his suitcase. “Where is everyone?” He had been granted a short vacation from his position in Paris and had returned home as a surprise. He couldn’t wait to see their faces, but it looked like nobody was there. “Man, some surprise…”
Just then, he heard a noise. Yoneda came rolling down the stairs, all drunk. The man who used to be his superior was now at his feet, trying to stop the spinning. "Oogami, my boy! I'm seeing things aren't I?"
"Yoneda-chuui, what are you doing? What happened? Where is everyone?"
"Can you believe it? They all just packed up and left me for some resort. Left me all alone." he sobbed, "Me and my sake..."
"A resort? But I came all the way from Paris to visit them!" Oogami cried, "Oh... I should have known something wrong like this would happen. Now I won't be able to see Maria... Kanna... Kohran... Iris... Reni... Orihime-kun... Sakura-kun... Sumire-kun... sigh! I am at such a loss!"
"You want to go see them, Oogami??" Yoneda slurred. The boy nodded. "Heck, let's go see them! I know where this resort is!"
Oogami didn't know why, but he decided to go along with the old man. They took an hour train ride outside Tokyo, then a carriage ride to a quaint resort near the mountain. "This is the place where everyone is?"
"Yes, only one problem... women are only allowed in this establishment."
"WHAT!? Then what was the use coming here for?! If we can't even go inside...!!"
Yoneda chuckled lowly. He then lifted up a dress box. "There is one way, my boy!"
"GAAH?! ARE YOU CRAZY, JIJI?!"
"You want to see them or not? How long do you have till you have to go back to Paris?"
Oogami frowned. It wasn't long. After all the city could be attacked any time. They might even call him back since he had his kinematron on him. Sighing, he saw that this was his only chance to actally meet with his old friends whom he missed so much. "B-but dressed as a woman???"
Yoneda rolled his eyes. "Didn't they teach you about 'espeanoge' in military school? This is one of those crucial things that an officer must swallow his pride for!"
"And I thought Kayama was swallowing pride wearing that cow tie suit. This is worse!" Oogami cried. "Oh all right..."
* * *
The two got into 'gear' and entered the front lobby. Since they didn't have a reservation, they had to wait a bit. Oogami felt a draft. The dress he was wearing kept blowing back since someone had left the door open. 'Dangit, I wonder if there's a pair of sockings in that dress case. It's cold!!!'
Yoneda elbowed him. "Stop fidgeting. Although that is very 'girly', it brings too much attention to yourself. Try to stay still while they get our information in order."
"Just what the heck did you tell them anyhow??"
"That I'm the sister of Count Hanakoji and your my grand-daughter, Olga."
Oogami's eyes bulged. "O-Olga!? What kind of name...?!" He sighed as someone came to help them and she called him by that name. "Oh, thank you." he uttered, in a soft nasilly voice, "But I can hold my suitcase."
"I'm just going to bring it up to your room."
Oogami watched with watery eyes as she walked off with his suitcase. 'How am I going to change back into my own clothes?! I can't let the girls see me like this!!'
Just then, he ran into someone. "Oh, excuse me." the girl said, bowing. When she lifted her head, Oogami saw that it was Sakura. He held his breath. "Have we met before??" she uttered.
"Of course not!" he cried in his girly voice, "I'm Olga and this is my grandma. We're new in town. Ahahaha, you're mistaken!"
"Sorry. It's just... " She shook her head. "Nevermind. Well it's nice to meet you, Olga-san." She then turned and walked away.
Oogami covered his face. 'Olga-san?! Of all names!!!'
Yoneda chuckled, "Come on! I'm sure the others are around here somewhere..." He turned in a certain direction. "Maybe in there!"
"No! Stop!" Oogami exclaimed in his normal voice. People had stopped and stared at him, but he just cleared his throat, "Sorry." he said, girly again, then whispered to Yoneda, "That's where the girls are!!"
"Duh! That's why we came, correct?"
"You perverted jiji! I came because I missed everyone and I wanted to spend time with them. But I can't do that if I'm like this! And it's all your fault!"
"Now don't pout, I promise you'll get to spend time. Just we had to come here like this so we can actually come inside. Later, we'll get into our old clothes."
"Oh? Then they'll throw us out if they found us! See that sign: 'No men allowed'!!"
Yoneda blinked at the sign. "You'd think that they'd make an exception for two guys who have saved Teito numerous times. Oh well..." He turned towards the door again. "Heh. Come on, Sakura didn't even recognize you. These disguises are perfect!" Oogami sighed, and finally followed.
* * *
When they entered, Oogami saw a paradise. There was a table full of food. A giant onsen. A group of beautiful girls. Oogami shook his head and closed his eyes. He had died and gone to heaven.
"Ladies, please make yourselves comfortable." an assistant had told them.
Oogami nodded and went to the table of table. 'Okay, try not to bring any attention to yourself...' He looked over at Yoneda who was gabbing with the ladies. They thought he was an amusing grandma. 'Oh man! He's gonna get us caught!'
"Excuse me." a voice said. Iris and Reni were at his elbow. "Would Onee-chan please pass the wasabi sauce to Iris?"
'Irk! It's those two! Onee-chan...???' Oogami calmed down and did as told. They smiled and sat next to him with their trays of sushi. 'Surely Iris would recognize you. Try not to make eye contact!'
"Onee-chan," Iris was persistent, "Could you pass Iris the tea?" Oogami hid his face in his wig and reached for the tea, his hands wobbling nervously.
"Let me help." Reni said, supporting his hand.
Oogami looked up in surprise. The two made eye contact. 'Dangit!!' Oogami paniced. Reni simply gave the tea to Iris and didn't say anything. 'Maybe she doesn't know!'
He stopped to hear voices from behind him. "Who the heck is that hag?"
"I don't know, but she's eating all the yakisoba!"
He could see Sumire and Kanna's reflection in the glass window before him. He sighed, 'I don't look that bad do I? And I only had three servings!'
"Hohohoho! She makes you look better, Kanna-san!"
"What did you say, you ugly Snake woman!!"
Maria suddenly appeared on the scene. "Girls, hush. That person over there is the granddaught of Count Hanakoji. She's well respected in high society."
Noodles dropped from Oogami's mouth. 'I am?! Cool!'
Maria added, "She's engaged to the only son of the emperor..."
Sumire exclaimed, "No way! That ugly little...!"
Kanna sighed, "Feel sorry for the emperor's son!"
Oogami giggled to himself, 'I'm gonna be royalty!'
Iris looked over at him. "Onee-chan, what's so funny?"
"Er, nothing, nothing!"
* * *
After a good meal, Oogami decided to go soak his feet. He went to go sit at the edge of an onsen which he thought was empty. Pulling up his dress just a bit, he dipped his feet into the warm water.
'Ahh, this is not so bad. And Yoneda seems to be behaving himself...' Last he had checked, Yoneda was playing cards with some foreigners. 'It wasn't such a bad idea for a vacation, and technically everyone's here so... '
A voice cut into his thoughts. "Isn't this fun?"
Oogami started choking. "K-Kaede-san?!"
Kaede was in the onsen in a towel, along with the other girls. "My, who is that?"
Sakura smiled a big happy smile. "It's Olga-san! I met her in the lobby!"
Everyone else started staring at him. "Olga-san?"
"That's the Count Hanakoji's granddaughter." Maria explained.
Orihime muttered, "Really? She looks familiar."
Iris chimed, "Onee-chan, would you like to join us?"
"Ack? No thanks, I was just taking a soak. Well, better not let my feet get soggly. E-excuse me!"
Oogami tried to make a break for it, but ran into Yoneda. "Ah! Granddaughter, wouldn't you like to have a dip in the onsen?"
"Not right now! Look!" he squeaked, pointing backwards.
Kaede had come over in a robe. "Madam, we would be honored if you and your granddaughter would join us."
Yoneda was overwhelmed. "Yes, we'd lov..."
"No! No!" Oogami wailed.
"Is something wrong, Olga-san?"
"Y-yes... the true is..." He stared at all of their faces. "Ano... I'm shy."
Kohran replied, "No prob. Maybe your grandma would like to join us."
"Boy would I ever!" Yoneda chimed.
"NO!!!" Oogami pulled off his wig. Everyone was shocked. "Because... we're men!" He pulled off Yoneda's wig. "Kick us out! Please!!!"
* * *
Yoneda glared at him. "Nice going!!" he grumbled as a group of burly women picked them up and hurled them outside. "I was having so much fun too..." he sniffed.
"Sorry, Chuui. I couldn't go on with that lie anymore. I'm sorry I ruined everything." Oogami sighed, picking up his suit case and wiping the make up off his face. "I'm even more sorry that I came to visit..."
"Oogami-san!" Sakura's voice rung high and clear. "Wait for us!"
"Everyone?" he uttered as all the girls had came outside with their luggage, "Aren't you going to stay in the resort?"
"Nope! Iris wanna stay with Oni-chan!" Iris chimed.
Reni noted, "I had an inkling it was you. But why aren't you in Paris?"
"Did you come to visit me? How sweet of you, Chuui!" Sumire said, "Oh, sorry for calling you a hag."
Kanna noted, "She's not really sorry."
"Oh shut up!"
Orihime said, "I don't know why I'm glad you're here, but I am. Still it's unforgivable for an japanese guy to enter a prohibited area!"
Kohran laughed, "He was just trying to get to us. Next time, let us know in advance okay?"
Kaede replied, "Let's all head back to the Teigeki then."
They started to walk towards the train station, but Oogami stopped them all. "Hold on. One more thing, before we go..." Everyone stared at him. "C-Could I get changed out of this dress?!"
FIN
