One weary afternoon at the Teikoku Gekijou, Oogami Ichirou was faced with a terrible dilemma. Running and screaming down the basement hallway, he did all he could to get away from the very scary AYAME, who had a whip and also his pants.
"A-Ayame-san! Yamero!!" he cried, frantically trying to reach the stairs, "I-I know I've made some mistakes in the past, but you mustn't be angry like this! Uwaaaah!!" The whip just barely missed his leg and left a crack in the cement floor, "Somebody... HELP ME!!!"
Suddenly the room filled with a pink smoke and the two shadows entered the end of the hallway. "The butai of love and beauty heeds your call for help! The Baragumi!!" Kotone and Yokohiko chimed, standing back to back with roses in their hands.
"Ara??! K-Kaede-chan, what are you doing?!" Yoko gasped at the raging seductress in a black, leather bikini, "Yamette! You mustn't hurt my beloved Ichirou-chan!!"
"This is bad." Kotone uttered, rubbing his chin, "It seems the outfit has 'possessed' Kaede-chan. She is lost to the ways of evil. We must... DESTROY her! But first... we've better make use of this opportunity..."
"IEEEEEE!!" Oogami shrieked, getting a good whack in the butt. Tearfully, he rubbed his sores and ran behind Yoko for a shield, "Please help me calm Ayame-san! I'll do anything!!"
"Anything...???" the two Baragumi asked, eyes slanted. Oogami gulped; he was in for it now.
* * *
Meanwhile, the Hanagumi, minus Sumire, were running down the street towards the row house where Orihime's father lived. Sakura suddenly stopped, creating a chain reaction, people bumping into each other and falling over. "W-What is it, Sakura?" Maria asked, the wide-eyed girl.
"I-I just realized... the reason the why paparazzi are at Orihime's father's place... and the article in the paper... it's because Oogami-san gave her that engagement ring!"
"Ch-chotto, Sakura!" Reni cried, trying to stop her, but she had already turned around in the other direction back towards the Teigeki, "W-we gotta stop her!!"
"MOU!! NAN DE!?!" Airisu snapped, making an explosion, everyone on the street keeling over. "RENI-CHAN IS AIRISU'S SPECIAL FRIEND!!!"
"Gaah, if she says that one more time..." Kanna uttered, lying face flat in the ground. She pulled herself up and violently grabbed hold of the midget, "OI! THIS IS MY FINAL WARNING!! I'M GETTIN' PISSED OFF WITH YOUR CHILDISH WAYS!!"
"CHILD?! AIRISU IS NOT A CHILD!! AIRISU IS A FULL-GROWN ADULT!!"
While Kanna and Airisu argued in the smoke-filled street, Reni and the others chased after Sakura to clear up the misunderstanding. All except Orihime, who had been running to her father's the entire time. "Haah?! Minna-san doko de-su ka??!" she gasped, finding out that no one was following her anymore. "Hmp! I'll go save Papa on my own!!"
* * *
Back the Teigeki, the San'nin Musume were escorting the media into the theater. "Everyone that we could get a hold of is here." Kasumi explained to Sumire was on the stage readying a microphone, "Demo, there are still a lot of paparazzi at the row house..."
"Iin desu yo!" Sumire insisted, "It is probably Utako-san and her comrades. But we will make them all fools with this announcement! OHOHOHOHO!!"
Tsubaki nervously rubbed her head. "A-Are you sure about, Sumire-san?? I'm not quite sure what you're doing... aa, demo! Yoneda-shihainin just called! He and Kiku-san are on their way... if he hears about this, all of us will be in great trouble!"
"Daijoubu desu!" Yuri insisted, "After all, we in the middle of creating Teito's most greatest scandal! Subarashi desu ne!"
"Iya, I think you've got it mixed up, Yuri-kun." Kasumi sighed, "We're trying to prevent scandal, not encourage..." Her voice trailed off as an explosion shook the Gekijou. "N-Nani desu no?!"
The lights flickered for a second and the crowd seemed a little winded. Sumire quickly calmed everyone down, "It's nothing to worry about! Now, the real reason I, Kanzaki Sumire - the TOP STAR of Teito - have called all of you here today..."
* * *
"W-What the hell are you doing??!" Oogami cried, as he had ducked on the on-blast from Yoko's hand-held steam cannon, "A-Are you trying to kill Ayame-san?!"
"Ichirou-chan, she's evil! She must be stopped! Please don't hate me for this; I'm just doing what a woman has to do!" Yoko tearfully insisted, and then turned towards the raging AYAME, "Take this, you hustling tart!"
"Nani yo??" AYAME chuckled, taking a step forward, as the hall cleared of smoke, "You think you can stop me?! Oogami Ichirou's life belongs to ME! MWAHAHAHAHA!"
"Sou ja nai!" Kotone gasped, "Oogami-Taichou is official property of the Baragumi! You even agreed with us, Kaede-chan!"
"That was before I decided to punish this pitiful soul for being such a player. Ayame-neesan would have wanted it this way." she replied, readying her next attack, "Too many rabbits in your hat will get you in a lot of trouble... and trouble comes in the form of... THIS!" She dropped her whip and pulled out a pair of shears from kami-sama knows here. "Give up, Oogami-kun!"
"EEEEEEEEEP!?!" Oogami cried, scrambling up the stairs, "ALL OF YOU CRAZIES, STAY AWAY!!! AAAAAAAAAAAA!!!"
"MATTEE!!" the Baragumi and AYAME exclaimed, chasing after him.
* * *
"PAPA!!" Orihime broke through the crowd, breaking a couple cameras in the process and kicking some reporters in places it hurt. "I'm coming, Papaa!!"
"P-Papa?!?" Utako gasped, "M-Masaka... isn't that mustached man up there your long-time lover?!? I saw you and him on dates various times... and he give you a ring the other day!"
"BAKA DE-SU!!" Orihime snapped, "Sono hito is my PAPA!! How dare you think up something disgusting to print!! I won't forgive you for this!!!" Orihime then gave Utako a good slap, which all of the cameramen got on film, "TANOSHII DE-SU!!"
Ogata could only cover his eyes as he watched his daughter beat up the ignorant media. "Orihime..." he sighed, "Gets it from her mother's side..."
* * *
Back at the Gekijou, Sumire was going off on Utako's misunderstanding. "That rumor of course is a big lie! Ogata-san is Orihime-san's father and Utako-san is a complete imbecile... OHOHOHOHOHOHO!!!"
"Jaa... so then..." uttered one of the reporters, "Does any of the Teigeki stars have a lover??"
Sumire just grinned and flipped out her fan. "I can guarantee that none of the Teigeki stars..." she started to say, but then the doors burst open. "O...Oogami-chuui??"
"UWAH?!?!" Oogami gasped to see all the cameras turning his way, the flashes nearly blinding him. "Ch-chotto!!" He quickly hid in the seats, since he was wearing just a shirt and boxers, "Yameroo! Please stop your pictures!!"
Sumire angrily yelled into the microphone. "Minna-san! Ignore that pants-less man in the back there! I'm not done talking yet...!!!"
Suddenly the theater filled with smoke and the lights went out. Quickly, the lights turned on, this time with pink tint in it. "The Butai of love and beauty...!!" Kotone and Yoko chimed, swinging down from the ceiling. But a flying ninja star cut down their rope. "KYAAAAA!"
"Anata-tachi!!" Kasumi cried, she and the other Sannin Musume going to check if they were all right. However, they soon saw who was the sharpshooter. "S-sonna!!"
AYAME stepped out into the aisle. The media started taking pictures, but with a snap of her whip, all of the lenses broke. "A-RA!!" Sumire snapped, "Are you trying to steal the show from me!!?"
AYAME ignored her and focused on her target. Oogami backed away for the doors, but saw that he was trapped. "D-Don't do this! Ayame-san, onegai!!"
"Hmhmhm, this is the end of the line, little boy." she giggled. Lifting her arm, she smiled and went for the kill.
"YAMETTE KUDESAI!!" A sword blocked the whip. Sakura stood in front of Oogami, staring AYAME in the eye, "W-What's the meaning of this, Ayame-san?!"
"Hmp! I should've know someone would get in the way!!" she grumbled, dropping the whip and taking out her shears, "This is why I must stop foolish women from falling for this date-sim potential player!! Say goodbye to your manhood, Oogami Ichirou!!"
"UWAAAAH!! YAMERO!!" Oogami tearfully pleaded, using Sakura as a shield, "Without... without it... there's no way I can possibly be the Taichou of the Teikoku Kagekidan!!"
Sakura looked downright pissed. "How dare you try to take away Oogami-san's...!! That is official property of one Shinguji Sakura!! HYAAAAAAA!!!" Her pink kenji fired up, Sakura prepared her ultimate attack, "HAJA KENSEI GOKUI OUKA BUJOU!!!"
The pink blast sent AYAME flying down the aisle and through the stage, leaving a trail of ruins in the floor. The blast had just barely missed Sumire, who fainted on the scene. The media just stared in shock.
"Minna-sama!" Sakura exclaimed, "I have announcement!! I am in love with this man!!" Oogami blushed, as again he was only in his boxers. "Soshite... I, Shinguji Sakura, am an absolute voyeur and a pervert!!"
This got a lot of face-faults and sweat-beads, but Sakura looked relieved that she said it. "OI!! YOU WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO SAY ANYTHING!!" Yoneda hollered. He, Kikunojou and the Tsukigumi were on the balcony watching the whole thing. "SAKURAA, BAKA YAROU!!"
Kayama blushed, slumping to the floor, "Sore kara... we'll get those pictures back from her... won't we??" he pleaded, he and his men a little more than embarrassed.
Maria and the remaining Hanagumi entered on the scene equally shocked by the events that had taken place. "Masaka..." Reni uttered, "Sakura... you just made some terrible scandal..."
"NANI KORE?!?!" Airisu hissed, "RENIII!! YOU ARE MINE!!!!" With that, she emitted another telekinetic blast and everything went blank.
* * *
"...And that's what happened." Kaede said. She was sitting on the window ledge of the Teigeki, with a starry sky above her. Wearing her trademark military uniform, she let out a heavy sigh. "Of course, with that blast, Airisu managed to erase the memories of the majority of people present. Luckily nothing was printed in the papers... except a certain fight that took place over at the row houses..."
She held up the newspaper with the picture of Orihime giving Utako a good smack in the face. The paper also had an article of Sumire fainting at her press conferences for some unknown reasons and the opening night being delayed due to construction on the stage.
"After all that's said and done, I have to say one thing..." Kaede uttered, getting up on her feet and leaning against the brick, "Damn, I look sexy in this outfit!"
Indoors, Reni sat in her room, doing nothing but sitting in her chair. She gazed towards the hat that Airisu bought her during their shopping trip. She paused to hear thunder outside. Smiling to herself, she saw the shadow of someone moving outside her window.
In Sakura's room, Oogami pulled the covers up, gazing down at Sakura's sleepy face. "Jaa... I'm glad you like the ring after all." he said softly.
"Uhn..." she uttered, snuggling closer, "I love it... just how I love..." Oogami cut her off with a kiss, the fear of thunder long forgotten.
"Oh, by the way," Kaede said, back out on the ledge, "Did I mention that I got my position back as Vice-Commander... and that Kiku-whatever-his-gender-is is back as the Baragumi's lackey. I kind of miss those crazies in the basement. But I must keep in mind my sister's memory... not only my mind..."
After pinning her hair up into a bun, she peered over into the window. Oogami instantly saw her and gasped, "A... A... AYAME-SAN?!"
"N-NANI?!?" Sakura cried, gazing at him with teary eyes, "W-What did you call me??!"
Seconds later, Oogami was thrown out into the hallway, in nothing but his boxers. "UWAAAH!!" he cried, as all the doors opened at the same time and the rest of the Hanagumi saw him. "O-Ore wa...!"
"OOGAMII!!" Yoneda exclaimed, angrily waving his fists at the end of the hallway. Kaede appeared out of nowhere and handed him his rifle and sword, "TEME!! YOU ARE SO DEAD!!!"
"UWAAAAAH!!!" Oogami cried, as a chase ensued.
Inside her room, Reni couldn't help but chuckle to herself while the screams continued outside. "Isn't scandal wonderful...?"
Fin
