Guide to Eastern Washington
Because of misunderstandings that frequently develop when Seattle
and Tacoma
folks cross over the mountains to the Eastern side of WA the local
Tourism
Councils have adopted a new policy. In an effort to help you
Seattle and Tacoma
folks understand the rural Eastern WA mind, the following list will
be handed to
each car as they cross the various passes.
1. That slope-shouldered farm boy did more work before breakfast
than you do all
week at the gym.
2. It's called a 'gravel road.' No matter how slow you drive,
you're going to
get dust on your Navigator. I have a four wheel drive because I
need it. Drive
it or get it out of the way.
3. We all started hunting and fishing when we were seven years old.
Yeah, we saw
Bambi. We got over it.
4. Any references to "corn fed" when talking about our women will
get you
whipped...by our women.
5. Go ahead and bring your $600 Orvis Fly Rod. Don't cry to us if
a flathead
breaks it off at the handle. We have a name for those little
13-inch trout you
fish for...bait.
6. Pull your pants up. You look like an idiot.
7. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of mallards are making
their final
approach, we will shoot it. You might hope you don't have it up to
your ear at
the time.
8. No, there's no "Vegetarian Special" on the menu. Order steak.
Order it rare.
Or, you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the two pounds of
ham and
turkey. Yeah, we have sweet tea. It comes in a glass with two
packets of sugar
and a long spoon.
9. You bring Coke into my house, it better be brown, wet, and
served over ice.
10. So you have a sixty thousand dollar car. We're real impressed.
We have
quarter of a million dollar combines that we use only two weeks a
year.
11. Let's get this straight. We have one stoplight in town. We stop
when it's
red. We may even stop when it's yellow.
12. Our women hunt, fish, and drive trucks--because they want to.
So,you're a
feminist. Isn't that cute.
13. Yeah, we eat venison, elk, bear and fish. You really want sushi
and caviar?
It's available at the bait shop.
14. They are pigs. That's what they smell like. Get over it. Don't
like it?
Interstate 90 goes two ways-- Pick a direction and use it
accordingly.
15. The "Opener" refers to the first day of deer season. It's a
religious
holiday. You can get breakfast at the church.
16. So every person in every pickup waves. It's called being
friendly.
Understand the concept?
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