Mensa Awards
IDIOTS IN SERVICE:
This week, all our office phones went
dead and I had to contact the telephone
repair people.
They promised to be out between 8:00
a.m. and 7:00 p.m.
When I asked if they could give me a
smaller time window, the pleasant
gentleman asked, "Would you like us to
call you before we come?"
I replied that I didn't see how he would
be able to do that, since our phones
weren't working.
He also requested that we report future
outages by email (Does YOUR email
work without a telephone line?).
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IDIOTS AT WORK:
I was signing the receipt for my credit
card purchase when the clerk noticed I
had never signed my name on the back
of the credit card.
She informed me that she could not
complete the transaction unless the
card was signed.
When I asked why, she explained that it
was necessary to compare the signature
I had just signed on the receipt.
So I signed the credit card in front of her.
She carefully compared the signature to
the one I had just signed on the receipt.
As luck would have it, they matched.
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IDIOTS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD:
I live in a semi-rural area.
We recently had a new neighbor call the
local township administrative office to
request the removal of the Deer
Crossing sign on our road.
The reason: too many deer were being
hit by cars and he didn't want them to
cross there anymore.
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IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE:
My daughter went to a local Taco Bell
and ordered a taco.
She asked the person behind the
counter for "minimal lettuce."
He said he was sorry,
but they only had iceberg.
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IDIOT SIGHTING #1:
I was at the airport, checking in at the
gate when an airport employee asked,
"Has anyone put anything in your
baggage without your knowledge?"
To which I replied, "If it was without
my knowledge, how would I know?"
He smiled knowingly and nodded,
"That's why we ask."
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IDIOT SIGHTING #2:
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when
it's safe to cross the street.
I was crossing with an intellectually
challenged coworker of mine when she
asked if I knew what the buzzer was
for.
I explained that it signals blind people
when the light is red.
Appalled, she responded, "What on
earth are blind people doing driving?!"
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IDIOT SIGHTING #3:
At a good-bye luncheon for an old and
dear coworker who is leaving the
company due to 'downsizing," our
manager commented cheerfully, "this is
fun. We should do this more often."
Not a word was spoken.
We all just looked at each other with
that deer-in-the-headlights stare.
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IDIOT SIGHTING #4:
I work with an individual who plugged
her power strip back into itself and for
the life of her couldn't understand why
her system would not turn on.
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IDIOT SIGHTING #5:
,br>When my husband and I arrived at an
automobile dealership to pick up our
car, we were told the keys had been
locked in it.
We went to the service department and
found a mechanic working feverishly to
unlock the driver's side door.
As I watched from the passenger side,
I instinctively tried the door handle and
discovered that it was unlocked.
"Hey," I announced to the technician,
"it's open!"
To which he replied,
"I know - I already got that side."
NOW, DON'T YOU FEEL BETTER?
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