A Kid's View of Fatherhood
As the family was sitting around the supper table, Jennifer, 5, who had just
started kindergarten at a Christian academy, turned to her brother, Andy, 3,
and pointed to their dad. "That's not your real father," she announced,
startling the whole family." Yes, he is!" Andy replied. "No, he's
not,"
Jennifer insisted. "God is your heavenly Father. "Then pointing at their dad,
she said, "That's your homely father!"
Scott, 5, asked his mom, Cathie, if there would be enough money to send him
to college. Cathie said, "There is still plenty of time to plan for college,
and in the meantime you could work for Daddy in the summertime." "Oh,
no,"
Scott said. "Daddy's going to work for me 'til the day he dies!"
David, 3, looked so much like his father that everyone told him he was "a
chip off the old block. "One day he proudly told his Grandpa Jim, "I'm just a
chip off the old pot!"
One morning a third-grader boarded the bus and gave the bus driver the
largest, toothiest grin she had ever seen. "I've got my dad's false teeth in
my mouth!" the boy told Carol, the bus driver. Carol told him to take them
back home. "My dad never wears them. He won't miss them!" the boy said,
grinning from ear to ear!
Jonathan, 5, and Jack, 3, were supposed to be getting ready for bed, but
they couldn't seem to settle down. Their father sternly sent them to their
room. Their weary parents overheard Jonathan say to Jack, "Now, fold your
hands this way. We HAVE to pray...Dear Jesus, will you please give Daddy
back his sense of humor in the morning!"
Elizabeth, 3, saw her father starting to prepare breakfast. "Daddy, my doctor
says I should have chocolate pudding!" she announced.
Cody, 4, was watching his father make breakfast using hard-boiled eggs.
Duane set the bowl with
the peeled eggs in front of Cody so that Cody could help cut them up. When
he cut the first egg in half, Cody said with surprise, "Dad, I didn't know
there was cheese inside of eggs!"
Alex, 7, went to his sister's bedroom and asked, "Is God our father? "Ashley,
14, replied, "Yes." Alex thought for a minute and said, "Hmmm... I
wonder if
Mom knows about this!"
Erika's father is an aeronautical engineer. One day Erika played in the
"pretend section" of her kindergarten room. That night she told her dad,
"I
was going to pretend that I was an engineer. Then I decided I'd rather just
be a NORMAL person!"
Matt, 3, was talking to his father who was at work. While he was talking,
Matt dropped the phone on the hard tile floor. Matt picked up the receiver
and asked, "Dad, are you all right?"
Scott, 3, knew his father, a registered surveyor, had a job that included
drawing pictures to earn his paycheck. When Scott was shopping with his
mother, Cindy, he asked for something and Cindy said, "No, we don't have the
money today. "Scott got a puzzled look on his face. Then he asked, "Well, why
doesn't Dad just draw more money?"
Alyssa, 3, was helping her father put in a ditch beside the barn for water
lines. The next day her mother mentioned that she had gotten her shoes dirty
while helping her father dig the ditch. "Daddy said it was a road," Alyssa
corrected." It was a ditch," her mother said. "No," Alyssa said,
"Daddy kept
saying, 'Get out of the road!'"
Adam, 5, flipped on the television just as one of the NBA games between the
Utah Jazz and the Chicago Bulls was ending. His father called from the other
room, asking what the final score was. "Ninety-seven to 85," Adam
said. "Who
won?" his dad asked. "Ninety-seven," Adam replied.
When Kevin picked up Melaney from kindergarten she was trying to show him
her artwork. "I have to watch the road while I'm driving," Kevin said.
Melaney was silent. Then she stuck the picture in Kevin's face and said,
"Look at the picture, Dad. I'LL watch the road!"
Luke, 6, commented, "When Daddy takes a shortcut, it always turns into a
long cut."
The family was driving down the road when Gary became very impatient with
the car ahead of him. "Guy, I wish you'd hurry up and turn," Gary
said. "Dad,
did you say guy?" 6-year-old Leslie called from the back seat. "Yes,"
Gary
said. "Dad," Leslie said, "I thought you said only women drive like
that!"
A father was explaining North, South, East and West to his 3-year-old."Dad,
we're right in the middle, aren't we?" the boy observed.
Jason noticed a Corvette that his dad had for sale in his used car
lot. "Dad," Jason said, "I'm 7 now, you know, and it's time we started
looking for a car for me." "Really?" Lance said. "What did you have
in
mind?" "How much is that Corvette in your lot?" "Twelve thousand
dollars." After a moment of silence Jason said, "If I give you the $12 now .
. . can I give you the thousand later?"
Mitch, 4, sternly warned his dad, "You better watch everything you say,
'cause someday I'm gonna talk just like you!"
*Our "Funny Things Kids Say Will Brighten Any Day" books are
available at:
http://www.funnykids.com
Building boys is easier than mending men.
"This you know, my beloved brethren.
But let everyone be quick to hear,
slow to speak and slow to anger;
for the anger of man does not achieve
the righteousness of God."
James 1: 19
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