Abstinence
(By Robert Layton)
I WAS HOLDING A NOTICE FROM my 13-year-old son's school announcing a meeting to preview
the new course in sexuality. Parents could examine the curriculum and take part in an
actual lesson presented exactly as it would be given to the students.
When I arrived at the school, I was surprised to discover only about a dozen parents
there. As we waited for the presentation, I thumbed through page after page of
instructions in the prevention of pregnancy or disease. I found abstinence mentioned only
in passing. When the teacher arrived with the school nurse, she asked if there were any
questions. I asked why abstinence did not play a noticeable part in the material. What
happened next was shocking.
There was a great deal of laughter, and someone suggested that if I thought abstinence had
any merit, I should go back to burying my head in the sand. The teacher and the nurse said
nothing as I drowned in a sea of embarrassment. My mind had gone blank, and I could think
of nothing to say.
The teacher explained to me that the job of the school was to teach "facts," and
the home was responsible for moral training. I sat in silence for the next 20 minutes as
the course was explained. The other parents seemed to give their unqualified support to
the materials.
"Donuts, at the back," announced the teacher during the break. "I'd like
you to put on the name tags we have prepared --they're right by the donuts...and mingle
with the other parents."
Everyone moved to the back of the room. As I watched them affixing their name tags and
shaking hands, I sat deep in thought. I was ashamed that I had not been able to convince
them to include a serious discussion of abstinence in the materials. I uttered a silent
prayer for guidance.
My thoughts were interrupted by the teacher's hand on my shoulder. "Won't you join
the others, Mr. Layton?" The nurse smiled sweetly at me. "The donuts are
good." "Thank you, no," I replied. "Well, then, how about a name tag?
I'm sure the others would like to meet you." "Somehow I doubt that," I
replied. "Won't you please join them?" she coaxed.
Then I heard a still, small voice whisper, "Don't go." The instruction was
unmistakable. "Don't go!" "I'll just wait here," I said.
When the class was called back to order, the teacher looked around the long table and
thanked everyone for putting on name tags. She ignored me. Then she said, "Now we're
going to give you the same lesson we'll be giving your children. Everyone please peel off
your name tags." I watched in silence as the tags came off. "Now, then, on the
back of one of the tags, I drew a tiny flower. Who has it, please?"
The gentleman across from me held it up. "Here it is!" "All right,"
she said. "The flower represents disease. Do you recall with whom you shook
hands?" He pointed to a couple of people. "Very good," she replied.
"The handshake in this case represents intimacy. So the two people you had contact
with now have the disease." There was laughter and joking among the parents.
The teacher continued, "And whom did the two of you shake hands with?"
The point was well taken, and she explained how this lesson would show students how
quickly disease is spread. "Since we all shook hands, we all have the disease."
It was then that I heard the still, small voice again. "Speak now, it said,
"but be humble." I noted wryly the latter admonition, then rose from my chair.
I apologized for any upset I might have caused earlier, congratulated the teacher on an
excellent lesson that would impress the youth, and concluded by saying I had only one
small point I wished to make. "Not all of us were infected, " I said. "One
of us...abstained."
From God's Word:
"Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are
outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. Do you not know that
your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God?
You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your
body."
1 Corinthians 6:18-20 (NIV)
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