Flunk Me If You Can
A student is having a very hard time writing a final exam. So hard, in fact, that he continues to write a full five minutes after the professor has called "Pencils down." The professor, tired of waiting, picks up the pile of exams and begins to walk out of the room. Seeing this, the student finishes up and rushes, paper in hand, to the professor, only to find that his exam will not be accepted.
After the professor explains to the distraught student that he has violated academic code by writing past the finishing time, the student asks him: "Do you have any idea who I am?"
The professor answers, "No. But I'll have a pretty good idea what your name is when I record your failing grade."
With that, the student knocks the finished exams out of the professors hands, mixes his in with the pile, and runs out of the room.
Rumour has it, he got a B+.
(Note from JLB: I tried this once to a substitute teacher back in my high school days)
(How did it go?-El Demon Jester)
(All tests were deemed null and voided and I got an ass kickin'.-JLB)
A student's biology professor announces an exam next week on birds. "You will have to know everything about every type of bird there is," he says. The student spends the week studying beaks, wings, and feathers of dozens of bird species.
On the day of the exam, the professor has a table with five paper bags on it. Under each bag is a model of a bird. The professor lifts the first bag to reveal only the legs, and tells the class to write down the type of bird. The student groans, because she can't even guess the type of bird. When the professor gets to the third bag, the student stands up, walks up to the table, and throws her crumpled test paper onto the table. She says, "This is the most ridiculous test I have ever seen, and you are an IDIOT!" The professor says, "Just hold it right there, what is your name?" The student raises her dress to the knees and says, "You tell me!"
When you turn in an exam in a large lecture class, you are usually required to show your student ID card to the proctor to prove that it's you who took the test, not a "ringer."
Well, legend has it that a certain student forgot to take his ID card to an exam. He knew that the proctor wouldn't accept his completed exam without his ID card. So when he finished the exam, he went up to the proctor.
"Do you know who I am?" "No," said the proctor. "Good," responded the student, who proceeded to grab the stack of completed exams, put his on top, and throw them up into the air, scattering them all over the front of the lecture hall.
Variations:
In some versions the student's offense is cheating (off of notes) rather than taking extra time.
In one variant of the legend the test-taker is a paid substitute for a regular student (and shoves his blue book into the stack when the proctor says he doesn't recognize the test-taker).
Some versions mention that a proctor (unfamiliar with the students in the class) is giving the test.
