My Story

Silvius, Guardian of the Night, Wisdom, and Mental Strength

Yes, for those who are wondering, this is a true story.

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I was in my class in school one day,
Talking with my friends, nothing more,
Trying to block the memories
Of what had happened the night before:

My mother had called us very late,
Demanding for me to talk,
Even though I was so tired,
That I could barely walk.

I had always thought I was mentally sound,
My strength of will like that of a vault,
But as I willed myself awake,
She told me it was all my fault.

My fault her mother had beaten her,
My fault for all her peeves,
My fault my dad didn't love her,
My fault she decided to leave.

My dad finally got me off the phone,
And for a dreamless night I sought,
But the next day I was to see things,
Worse than I had ever thought.

The next day I was in my class
When someone at the office wanted me;
I rushed, for all the street pass said
Was, "Family Emergency."

I went down to the office,
I saw my mother standing there,
I remember being so terrified,
There was a coldness in her stare.

She pulled up the sleeves of her shirt
To reveal her limping wrists,
I counted the numerous welts on her arm
Made by self-made slits.
There were about five on each of her arms,
Covered thickly with her own dried blood;
My stomach turned, I lost my balance,
Emotions came like a flood.

"I did this to myself," she said.
"I tried it all last night."
All she wanted to do was see me,
But of her I couldn't bear sight.

She told me that she loved me,
That she would never do me harm,
All she wanted to be was a mother,
Caring, loving, and warm.

I remember being so petrified,
I could not breathe or think,
I found myself moving backwards,
While I found I couldn't speak.

I called my sister to come get me,
My neice and I waited in the car,
She sat there lovingly stroking my head,
When we heard shouting from afar.

My sis was yelling, "Kate, lock the doors!"
As my mother came running to us;
My sister tried to pull her away,
While she made an unforgettable fuss.

My mother got into her car,
My neice unlocked my sister's door,
My mother put her car in reverse,
And pushed the pedal to the floor.

She backed her car up really fast,
And hit us in the front;
As she sped away, and my neice cried,
My neck began to slump.

It is now two months later,
And still I'm filled with fear,
Even though I've a protective order,
And it's illegal for her to come near.

And still I have no mother,
As if you look then you will see;
But if she said that she loved me, and promised no harm,
I have to wonder, why did she hurt me?


Copyright 2001 Caitlin Carlson