A Light
Mood:  bright
I finally know where I'll be living for the next few months. I'm really excited about it, but I really haven't gotten the chance to meet the Sisters that I'll be living with yet. I could probably only pull one of them out of a line-up.

I'm excited and I'm nervous. What a combination. I've got butterflies in my stomach and a feeling to run, but my prayer has been that since God got me this far, He'd have to hold me down and help me during this part of the journey. I know that He will take care of me.

Anyways, I met with the vocation director the other day...actually she kinda snuck up on me as I was praying in the chapel... Pretending to be the voice of Our Lady and telling me to follow her... Ha! That got me thinking.

I finally got the chance to WANDER in that chapel, something that I'd been aching to do for a long time, but there was always someone in there and I didn't want to disturb their prayers. I got a good look at the stations of the cross in there and they were awesome. There are some very symbolic things in each of the carvings (if that's what you call them) of each station. I really did some great wandering reflection until one of the Sisters came in to pray. I don't like being a distraction, so I stopped wandering when that Sister walked in.

I am excited to meet the Sisters that I'll be living with. I can identify one of them, but the other two names don't ring a bell. I am looking forward to getting to know them all.

So, there's also going to be a dog where I'll be living. That's going to be cool. I hope that I like the dog.

Well, I'll close for now.

A Part of Something
Mood:  chillin'
I got invited to go with the women in formation to Toledo. I think that it's wonderful that I was invited! I'm really excited about it. I will get to see some of the other novices and see who else is in formation. That will be interesting.

I'm still in the process of moving things from my apartment to my parents' house for storage. I'm looking at things to see what all I can get rid of and what I might still need. I'm super nervous, but excited at the same time. I wonder where I will live. I wonder what the people who I will live with are like.

I need lots of prayers.

Strange Dreams
Mood:  happy
Last night as I was sleeping to recover from a sore throat, I had some really interesting dreams.

First I dreamed that I was back in college and I forgot how to get to where I was living. My friend Jessica was with me. I've had dreams like that before, and usually they have to deal with my fear of being lost. While I was looking for where I lived, I lost my silver ring that says "God is Love". I was upset about losing this ring and looked all over for it. I found two similar rings which had sayings about God on them, but not my ring with that particular saying.

Then I dreamed that I was back up in Chardon and the Sisters were having some sort of party. My friend Jessica was still with me and so were some of the members of my family. I dreamed that I was looking for Sr Sandra and I couldn't find her. I dreamed that I just went ahead and joined in the festivities.

Happy Turkey Day!
Mood:  cool
I hope that you all have a great Thanksgiving! I'm currently at my parents' house. The festivities have not started yet, but my sister and brother-in-law are supposed to come over as well as my brother. I wonder if my brother invited his girlfriend to come.

Please pray for me as I am taking my next step in January and moving into a live-in community with the Sisters. I am excited and very nervous and scared all at the same time. You'll all probably hear more about that in the coming month.

Right now, I'm focused on trying to move things from my apartment back into my parents' house. I'm finally getting into the groove of that. I've moved out all of my wall hangings except the crosses. I'll move those out last.

I wonder what the local community that I'll be living with will be like. I'm excited about being able to join them for prayer and to live with them day to day. I just don't know where I'm going to be living or with whom yet. Talk about taking a leap of faith.

I've been reflecting on Our Lady alot lately. I wonder if she had a million questions as she faced what God asked of her. She said YES to everything....what a wonderful model to have. I wonder if she was ever afraid and nervous and excited like I feel.

Confusion
Mood:  quizzical
Well, I'll be doing a live-in with the Sisters in January, but I don't know where or with whom. That's scary in my textbook. This is all in God's hands. I'm scared as heck.

How did Mother Mary handle all of this? I'm sure she had lots of questions for the angel and turned alot of them towards God. I need to pray to be more like her. I bet she was really scared at first too.

I was on retreat on Saturday with the Sisters and some of the associates. It was really nice. We sang alot and also did alot of reflection. We also lit candles in memory of a person who has been a big part of our lives and a big influence. I lit it for my grandma.

A couple of the Sisters and some of the associates said that they'd pray for me. There was a real warmth there. I really felt as if I belonged.

All Nerves
Mood:  special
Now Playing: Radio is on
I'm nervous...tomorrow's the day that my parents will meet my vocation director. I don't know who that's going to be more scary for...me, her, or them. I've tried to prep my vocation director for what my parents might do or say. Mainly, my mom still thinks Religious Life is a cult, and my dad likes to tell jokes about nuns and their rulers. I don't know if Sister knows what she's gotten herself into.

And since there will be four of us in the restaraunt, I wonder how we'll sit. My mom and dad will probably want to sit together, so that puts me on Sister's side. I won't be able to observe her reactions too easily then, but I'll be able to see what my parents' reactions to her will be. She's an extrovert, so this lunch conversation promises to be exciting. There's not a dull moment with an extrovert. My dad's one too, so I think that they'd hit it off. I wonder about my mom though.

So, I know that my vocation director will be nervous about driving up close to where my parents live. I hope to maybe get to the restraunt a little before everyone else to get a place.

Please pray for me that this all goes well.

With my Sisters
Mood:  amorous
Now Playing: Hand Jive
Today I went to a memorial service that the Sisters of Notre Dame had at the Heights for their deceased Sisters. I was nervous to go at first because I didn't know any of the Sisters who had died and I know a handfull of the living Sisters by name.

The mass was nice. There were relatives of the Sisters that had died there, and they were given a candle to remember the Sisters by. There were also carnations available to lay on the gravesite of the deceased Sister.

My friend Renee went with me and her being there helped to ease my nervousness. Somehow my name got on the list of duties. I was on the clean-up crew and helped afterwards to clean up a little.

The provincial, her name is Sr Marla, took the time to show Renee and me the pictures of the Sisters who were being remembered at the mass. She also told a little story from each of their lives and told us what their ministries were. This was very helpful and I left feeling a little better for going because when I went, I didn't know any of the Sisters who had died.

It was nice. Many of the other Sisters remembered both Renee and my names, though I'm quite embarressed to say that I don't remember many of theirs. I hope that that will come with time. I'm so glad that I went!

Halloween! Woohooo!
I'm debating whether or not to dress up for Halloween which is on Tuesday. I'll have to wear whatever I come up with to work. I think that my boss said that we can dress up, so I'm looking forward to that. I'm thinking about being Pippi Longstocking or Punky Brewster, or just some freckle-faced country girl. I will wear my jeans that have the patches on them, and probably one of my scrub tops...probably one of the ones with buttons on it. I'll put my hair up in pigtails or braids, whichever I can get it into. You're going to have to visualize this because my hair is not that long, so whatever that I get it into is going to definitely stick out. LOL, kinda like Pippi. I think that I've got that personality anyways, so this dress-up isn't going to be far from how I am sometimes. LOL! I've been Pippi many times for Halloween, but my hair has always been long enough to braid around a bent coathanger (to make them stick out like Pippi's). Then I'll paint freckles on my face with eye liner and wear mismatched socks maybe. I think it's going to be cute.

Yesterday (Saturday) we celebrated my friend Jessica's birthday. We went to Eden park and had a nice time. Then we went to Newport to see where I work. My boss was kind enough to come over and unlock the center so that I could show my friends inside. After that we went to Cincinnati Mills (a mall here) and I got some nice things. I got some socks that have religious sayings on them. My favorite pair that I found say "God is good!" They have little sheep on them and are blue.

I'll post more later.

Homesick again
Mood:  amorous
I miss my Sisters. I wish I was able to spend more time with them. I'm feeling homesick again and it's for my Sisters. I was invited to a mass for the deceased Sisters and no one that I know is going, but I thought I'd go just so that I'd be able to be near my Sisters. I don't know. The vocation director and my boss are not going, so I am debating back and forth as to if I really want to go or not. If I do go, it would be because I miss my Sisters terribly.

Things
Mood:  not sure
I've been a little sick for the past couple of weeks. I finally went to the doctor because my therapist and my boss told me to... I don't feel all too good about that. It reflects back on myself, doesn't it? The doctor just said that it's allergies. But said that if it doesn't get better in another couple of weeks that I need to go back in for a chest x-ray...goody... I just kept thinking that it would get better on its own. I mean, most allergy related stuff I've ever had was a sinus headache. I've never had anything this bad. So, that's why I thought I'd wait it out to see if it would go away on its own. My mistake.

Now my therapist says that she wants to see me once a week. I think it has something to do with the fact that those stupid recordings in my head have managed to turn themselves back on. At least they have concerning my job. I feel like I'm not on top of things there and that really gets to me. My boss tells me that I am doing very well, I just don't feel like I am. She's been a lifesaver on many occasions. I owe her alot...and am glad that she's one of my Sisters.

I've told her that I don't like it when she calls me Sister Mary Alyson. Though I couldn't really come up with the answer as to why I don't like it yet... She said it was because I am not ready to hear it yet. That seems about right.

The provincial has invited me to come to some of the community functions. Some of them that she named were interesting...like a prayer service for the Sisters who have died this past year... I want to go, I just don't know why yet...it's not like I knew any of those Sisters. Also she invited me to 40 hours which is a display of the Blessed Sacrament for 40 hours. Again, it's nice that I was invited, but what do I do there? Pray....that's the only thing I can think of....

Peace!