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June 2001
When we last left our heroes, they had escaped, but were soon back in the fire when Joe, the idiot, lead them into a room of hungry Gorge-ons.
"JEEZ! I said I was sorry already! It's not my fault that D.E.U.S. X. Machina didn't provide me with a decent map!" Joe exclaimed.
As Joe protested his innocence while Bob, Carl, and Ni repeatedly slapped him, the wall in front of them crashed down. Standing amongst the rubble was a young blonde woman holding a gun, dressed in black spandex.
"Dammit, Joe," the woman said. "Why do I always have to pull your butt out of trouble?"
Flipping her hair back, she powered up. A cocky grin crossed her face.
"CHEESY ANIME KICK-ASS ATTACK!!!" She screamed as she released a large ball of pure energy to disintegrate the hungry Gorge-ons, who in the tradition of stupid villains, moved together in a group and stared, unmoving, as she powered up.
"Thanks, Zab," Joe said with a sigh "I guess I owe you for saving my butt. Again."
"Oh, Joe, you know that no thanks are needed. All you have to do is say it." Zab answered.
"Do I have to?" whined Joe.
"JUST SAY THE DAMN PHRASE SO WE CAN MOVE ALONG IN THE *&%*^ING PLOT!!!" As Ni exploded, Zab and Joe turned very pale, and tried to hide behind Bob and Carl. Swallowing his pride, Joe spit out the troublesome phrase.
"Zab is the coolest person on the planet, whose beauty and strength is greater than any living being's, and who could beat me up with her pinky. Long live Zab." Joe mumbled quickly.
Ni, being placated, decided that it was time for some revealing information.
"Joe, Zab, and I are part of an organization called D.E.U.S. X. Machina. Our organization serves to pull the main character's butt out of the fire when the writer has proverbially painted themselves in a corner. I must admit, however, that I have never seen a case where we are called in so early in the story."
"Yeah, I thought that was kind of weird." Joe added, retreating back behind Bob when Ni cast him a glacial glare for interrupting her.
"As I was saying, we help the writer advance to the next plot point. That is, once we find out what it is..."
Zab slapped her forehead as she exclaimed, "I am such an idiot!"
"No
argument here," Joe foolishly mumbled.
"WHAT WAS THAT!? I'LL KILL YOU LATER!!! Anyway, before I left DXM Headquarters, I was told the next plot point was at Erichsville. After that, we're off for a while."
Bob stared blankly, wondering why, if he was the protagonist, this part of the story was all about the supporting characters. After three seconds of consideration, he decided that he would go to this "Erichsville" and see what would happen to him next.
Will Zab really kill Joe? Why was this edition pretty much about the supporting characters? What is the next plot point? There is only one way to find out...in next month's Bob Weekly!
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