Dave AKA The Infamous DJ Dave
Dave and his wife Kiera and yes he does usually look like this!
Roy.
He has a better memory of Dave's life than Dave does.
A brief history of the brief history of Dave.
First of all an explanation is probably required for not only the briefness of the brief history of Dave, but also how we finally managed to lay our hands on the brief history that you are about to see.
We came across numerous problems in our quest for this slice of the past. The largest of these problems was most definately the fact that Dave has very little recolection of huge chunks of his life. This may well be due to certain excesses in his rock and roll lifestyle. He wasn't known as the Bostic Swan for nothing you know! As you could probably imagine this made the task of writing this story a rather daunting one for poor Dave, so like any man in his position would, he thought "F*** it. I'm going down the pub." An ideal excuse of Dave but not much of a help for us. Luckily(?) for us we came across an acuaintence of Dave's who, while having been there for the majority of Dave's excesses, hadn't indulged to the same extent. After "a few" pints payment from Dave, Roy agreed to write Dave's history for him. Unfortunately, due to the payment being given in advance, Roy soon forgot his agreement. Dave, having joined Roy in the payment process, also forgot the agreement had been made and proceeded to clinch said deal all over again. Please reread the previous sentence several times to give yourself an idea of events over the next 6+ months.
Roy was now rather flush with payment from Dave, especially as Roy had also agreed to make the new Mission website, for which he was no doubt being paid in a similar fashion. At this point we thought it might be worth stepping into the negotiations to politely see if we could hurry things along a bit. Considering the amout of payment that Roy had received, we were hoping for something rather special and indeed what Roy gave us was certainly (little yellow bus) special. The final product was eventually secured through bribery on Jordi's part as Roy needed a rough playlist for Mission Jnr for the Mission site and a new deal was struck. As this deal was not paid for either in liquid form or in advance Roy seemed to remember it a lot better and offered, at the following DKY, to dictate it to us. We were somewhat taken aback by the thought that not only was this history short enough to be dictated but, having already paid so much, we were being expected to write it ourselves. However, having waited so long we were frankly amazed to be getting anything so Jordi grabbed some paper and acquired a pen and told his PA to get scribbling. Two minutes later we held Dave's life in our hands. So here it is. As dictated, in all its glory! The briefest of very brief historys of Dave....
The rather briefer than anticipated, brief history of Dave.
Inverness
Bombs
Wales
Sheep?
Aberdeen
The Dark One
Sheep?
Missing Teeth
Bed Sit
Dead Hamster
Arch Mogul's Brother
Lighter Fluid
DJing for Backpackers
Clogs
Newkie Brown And New Model Army
Dust
Ever Cut Your Own Hair?
Mission
New Mission
Bleached Cat Rescue
Gin
Construction Of Fire Lighter
Gin
Kiera
Super Nightmare
More Gin
Proposal
Vomit In Bin
Marriage
DKY
Green Bike
No Lights
Roy assures us that that is Dave's life in chronological order. Now we just need someone to fill in the blanks, but hey, so does Dave.
